Who to ask as bridesmaids?

Question

My brother is really serious about his girlfriend and they want to get engaged (after my wedding of course!) His girlfriend and I have never been close, but if she is going to be my sister in law someday do i ask her to be in the wedding??

I'm afraid that if I ask her she might drive me crazy because she isn't the most helpful or friendly person I know. But I'm also afraid that if i don't ask her we could miss out on an opportunity to become closer.

HELP!

Answer 1

since they're not engaged or married now, there's no reason for you to ask her to be a bridesmaid.  

Answer 2

Remember This Is Your Big Day.

Do What You Feel Is Best For You.

Invite Her Shopping Or Something, Try And Get To Know Her A Little Bit More Before You Deside Whether Or Not She Would Be Right For A Role As A Bridesmaid.

Congratulations On The Engagment :)

Answer 3

No.  You do not have to be a bridesmaid in your wedding.  There will be plenty more opportunities for you two to get close if they do get engaged...your whole life practically!  Just make sure to include those who are close to you already.  I hate when people say, "it's not all about you". It really is about you.  It's YOUR day so have fun with YOUR friends and enjoy your wedding!  

Answer 4

no you don't want to have someone who will drive you crazy in your party.  however you could ask her to do something, whether it be a greeter, or hosting the guest book or something along that line.  

good luck and happy wedding!

Answer 5

you could ask all your good girlfriends...

if all of them are really close to you, then having your brother's girlfriend will seem weird..

besides....its your wedding. Why bother how people think?

Answer 6

Have those that you trust and respect... dont have her in your wedding party just because she may end up marrying your brother!

Answer 7

That's tough but ask her because if you don't its going to create harsh feelings just don't have her doing too much have her come for fittings rehearsals but that is about it, don't have her doing anything extra if you don't think you can depend on her

Answer 8

this is your wedding day follow what will make you happy not what other people want you to do

Answer 9

I wouldn't ask her. I don't usually answer questions this bluntly, but to lay it on the line for you, the only people you want for bridesmaids are people who are tough, efficient, responsible, non- whiny, and helpful.  use people you trust, and who know how to take directions. Bridesmaids aren't about friendship, they are about obedient ornaments.

( I know, I know, I sound like the devil, but please believe me when I say that this really is the practical truth. Being a bridesmaid just does not bring out the best in people, and being a bride is too stressful to put up with anyone else's junk.)

Answer 10

I think it depends how many people you are having stand up for you.  If you are having more than three then it probably wouldn't hurt to have her.  But, if the two of you have never been close, I really don't think you need to ask her, unless your brother is standing up for your future husband.  If that is the case then I would say ask her.  

But if your brother isn't standing up for your fiance, I don't think you need to ask her (unless you have 20 people standing up and she's the only one not being asked :))  You mention that she's not that helpful or friendly...odds are no matter what the opportunity you probably won't become the best of friends.  A wedding is not the time to bond as the focus will be on you and if she's not a helpful person she probably will just end up frustrating you because she will probably be more of a burden than anything else.  Her standing up in your wedding is not going to make you guys close - her coming to your shower and being included in everything like the bachelorette party will do just as much to build your relationship.

Not to mention, standing up for someone is a financial burden and usually people don't want to take on that responsibility for someone unless you are quite close with them.  So maybe in the end you will be doing her a favor!

Best of luck to you!  

Answer 11

first of congratulations.

if you are close to her and she is a good friend then ask her. alot of women know what duties are involved if you are part of the wedding party and she will understand that she will have to participate.

things like helping you get ready, holding on to the flowers while you adjust yourself, putting together showers and a hens night...

in in doubt get her to watch the brides maid movie that just came out you know 21 dress' that shows how involved a bridesmaid could be...

also she might be getting married one day and will need to have bridesmaids herself i am sure she will want them to help her... so she will probably do some research to help her get an idea of what a bridesmaid does.

dont fret and smile im sure whoever you do pick for your bridesmaids will ensure that it is the wedding of your dreams.

also goodluck for the future

Answer 12

well if you want to become closer then yeah you should but who else did you want to be your bridesmaid

Answer 13

Think about and do the thing that you feel that is the best.

Answer 14

If you're having second thoughts about asking her to be one of your bridesmaids, then you should ask her. A bridesmaid is supposed to be someone who's special to you like a best friend, close cousin, sister, etc.