Who to include in program?

Question

I am making my programs at the moment and I have kind of gotten stuck on something.

Everywhere I looked it basically says the same thing to list for the wedding party.

Parents, Step parents, grandparents and so on.

Now my question is do I list those that are dead? I still have one set of grandparents alive, he has none, I still have both my parents and step parents, he has neither. Only his mother is alive.

So do I need to include those who are not physically with us? I wouldn't think I would need to just not sure what is proper.

What did you do?

Answer 1

We had kind of the same situation, except reversed.  He has parent, step-parents and a grandfather who is still alive.  Neither of my grandparents are alive (I wasn't close with either of them) and I just had my father at the wedding.  To make it feel more balanced, we just listed the parents as

FATHER OF THE BRIDE

John Smith

MOTHER OF THE GROOM

Jane Johnson with Steve Johnson

(step-parent named after "with")

FATHER OF THE GROOM

Dave Williams with Sarah Williams

IN OUR MEMORIES AND HEARTS

Edith Brown, Grandmother of the Groom

His grandfather was fine not being in the program and was happier to see his late wife mentioned.  I think it's a nice to mention the important people who are no longer with you, but who made a big impact on your lives (like perhaps your fiance's father).  Do whatever feels right for you and your fiance.

Answer 2

No, you don't need to.

We are not including my mother and his father (as they have both passed on) in the program but we are doing some very special things during the ceremony to remember them.

I have heard of people putting a "memorial" section in there programs, but I personally do not like this idea.

Answer 3

Hi.  It can be done either way.  It is OK to list the deceased, and it is fine to leave them off.

I work as a church secretary and have done many wedding programs.  To be honest, I have never done one where the bride or groom's parent has died.  I think I would do it like this:

PARENTS OF THE BRIDE:

Susan and Joe Thompson

PARENTS OF THE GROOM:

Mary Lou Johnson and the late Fred Johnson

Note:  Remember with anything "wedding" the bride's name goes first, so it is the same with the parents.  Your parents should be listed first, then his, then your grandparents (optional).  

Here is what I have done if you want to remember deceased grandparents.

WITH US IN SPIRIT:

Abigail and James Johnson (grandparents of the groom)

Answer 4

You typically list the people who are actually present at the wedding. However, some people, if they have lost a very close relative, will list that relative and say (in absentia) or something like that.

Answer 5

I believe that, that should be you and your fiances preference. I've seen it done Boothe ways. I think that its unfortunate that he only has his mother that's alive,  She didn't make him by herself. So therefore I think everyone should be listed, deceased  or alive.