Who wants to listen to a real problem (personal one) and give a solution?

Question

i had something to do with my girlfriend and after the incident, a couple of stories came up from different people questioning her virtues. i asked her about it and she denied any knowledge of it all. the came up again and i asked her again and once again she stood by her word.

then an aunt of mine heard the stories too and i told her that my aunt knows about them now.

but she says i did not rust her enough and so she is leaving. i admit that i was wrong in how i dealt with the situation and given a second chance i would do so many things differently but she is having none of that. she says her mind is made up. i admit iw as a jerk but then i feel that this should not be the end considering that we have been through so much together and we still do love each other so much. she even admits it. do you think she is being too harsh or i was too much of a jerk?

Answer 1

Both

I think you were being pretty pushy. When a person tells you one thing and you don't believe them and go behind their back to seek otherwise you are telling that person you don't trust them. Without that trust there can't be anything of a relationship. Was the situation THAT important to you that you were willing to lose her?

On the other hand I think she is being a bit unfair and seems to me like she is using this as a scapegoat to end the relationship. If she really wanted to be with you she would overlook the fact that you pushed something a little too far. I mean it's not as though you went out and cheated on her or did something really taboo...you were just asking her if she had heard the same stories you had heard...if I understand the situation correctly.

If she told you she has already made up her mind then that is probably the truth and she doesn't want to be with you...hard as it may seem. If she is just playing hard to get and wants you to swoon over her your best bet is to just avoid her and see if she comes back. If you continue to bother her you'll lose her in the end no matter what her real intentions are. Leave her alone and she'll either move on or come back...as long as you have said your piece to her and apologized for not trusting her in the first place then there isn't much else you can do.

Answer 2

If you consider this a real problem...you're gonna have a long road ahead of you honey.

Add on:  You can't expect your relationship to stay the same when there is that big of a distance between you.  People change...period.  I am not sure if you handled yourself the right way by just accusing her, but it was fine to be curious.  If you trusted her before, why wouldn't you trust her now?  If you have doubts about her honesty, then you may be in trouble.  If she is ready to leave the relationship, then you should move on too.  If she really wanted to stay, she'd try to work things out.  Sounds like to me she's ready to move on.  Whether or not she's been honest about why, she's ready to move on.

Answer 3

Dude, u were so not a jerk! You were just fine questioning her about a rumor and rumors always start based on a fact. And now that you think that she's telling the truth you can start defending her. If she truly loves you she'll realize that you were just checking and that you're looking out for her and yourself. LOL just as a note. Good luck!