Who was in the wrong?

Question

I got married last weekend. After the ceremony my groom and I had rented a party bus. We did not tell the wedding party that we had done this. Well, the groomsmen were all married and asked if their wives could go on the bus with us. These would be my new sister in laws and a new aunt. (she is our age) I said no. They were not happy with that answer because they didn't know that we were doing this and now they would have to wait while we went out bar hopping. (it was 2 hours we were going to be gone) So, the wives persisted and ended up on the bus. They had all traveled to be there, but I don't understand why they wanted to go on the bus. The bus did hold 30 people. We had 14 in our wedding party but I wanted it just to be us. Was I wrong not to invite them?

Answer 1

Here's some questions:

Why did you feel you should celebrate with ONLY your wedding party?  Why did your celebration have to be so exclusive?  You got to celebrate and bar hop with you new husband, why did you think your wedding party shouldn't get to celebrate with their wives?

I know it's "your day" day, but do other people not matter AT ALL that day?  When I go out, I love going out WITH my fiance, so if I was celebrating a friends marriage, why should I get the joy of doing so with my partner too?  Or is all the love and kisses reserved ONLY for you that day?

Answer 2

I think your aunt asked this same question earlier today..

I'm sorry, but yes it is rude to exclude the wives of the groomsmen from the party bus, especially when there clearly was room for them. The groomsmen have been at your beck and call all day.. You should have gladly offered to take their wives with you on the bus to spend some time with their husbands.  They are married!  How would you feel if you husband left you behind to go bar hopping with a bunch of guys and single girls?

I am sorry but I think you were being rude in this case.

Answer 3

It was rude not to invite them if they had come to the wedding with your wedding party.  You cant ask people to split off after, especially with no warning or notice  

Answer 4

I personally feel like you should have told the bridal party in advance that this was going to be happening - this way the wives could have made other arrangements or the groomsmen could have declined the offer if they did not want to go without their wives. You and your new hubby get to be together - why wouldn't you think that the groomsmen wouldn't want to be with their significant others?

It would be one thing if you were only gone for a few minutes - but to be gone for two hours and taking their husbands to a bar, that just doesn't sound right. Yes, you were wrong not to invite them. You should have understood that when you are married you have another person to think about - not just yourself. The groomsmen were just thinking about their wives - and rightfully so.  

Answer 5

  honestly, i know it was your wedding and all, but i think that you were in the wrong.  there was certainly room for them on the bus, and even though i know my fiance wouldnt have done anything stupid in those two hours if he were one of those groomsmen, it still would have been awkward.  and they wanted to go on the bus because they traveld there.  think of all the expenses the incurred to be there.  hotel rooms.  gas prices.  tux rentals.  dresses.  etcetera.  like...seriously, why would you rent a bus big enough to fit thirty people then only let 14 on?  that seems like a waste to me, and im sure the groomsmen would have been more comfortable with their wives there anyways.

Answer 6

The wives were rude to impose. It doesn;t matter if the bus holded 100 people. the shuttle is for the bridal party only.

You have already asked this question. YOu were wrong and you should understand.

If you are insecure about your husband, then that's a different story. You obvioulsy have self-steem and trust issues and that has nothing to do with the bride and groom.

Many receptions start way after the cermony to allow for pictures of the wedding party at a different location. That's why they have a bus. It's not uncommon and there is nothing wrong with it.

Next time leave your husband locked in his cage...  Good Lord forbid, there may be women at his work, the supermarket, and the streets.

That poor husband of yours... you are  not only rude but also do not have no social knowledge of appropriate party behavior and etiquette.

Good luck

Answer 7

You took the wedding party bar hopping after the wedding and you expect not to be told that you're in the wrong? It excuses the wives' rudeness.  

Answer 8

Your question is confusing.  Why did you rent a party bus?  To go bar hopping after your wedding?  If that is correct then why on earth would you not invite the bridal parties spouses or significant others?  That I don't understand.  Although if you are not invited, then you should not request to be invited, but to expect people to wait 2 hours while you go bar hopping is definitely rude!

Answer 9

While it was rude of the bride and groom to exclude the wives, it is more rude of the wives to insist they get to come along.  Better would have been for the husbands to decline the bar-hop and be with their wives and make a point with the B&G that they are being rude.

[Wording it differently so that it's told from a different perspective doesn't make it any less rude on either side, BTW.]

Answer 10

Yes you were wrong not to invite them.  I would not be happy with my husband going out bar hopping on a party bus either while I sit around for 2 hours and wait.  Especially when your going bar hopping with your new husband but I have to sit around and wait for mine.  Either you should have invited the wives or not expected any of the wedding party to actually go along.  If the bus fit everyone no problem then I dont see why having them come was a huge deal, especailly if they are family now.  Wow...family gatherings are going to be a real hoot with you in the family now trying to cause problems.

Answer 11

you should have included them.