Who will get child custody of an infant?

Question

I am 5 1/2 months pregnant, and want to file for divorce from my husband. The only thing stopping me is that I am worried that I won't get full custody of our baby. He is in the Army's alcohol substance abuse program, because his commander forced him to get help for his alcohol abuse. Also, I plan on breastfeeding, so I would need the baby with me. I want to move to PA with my family, and he would have to stay in SC because he is in the Army. Therefore, I think that I would have to have full custody in order to breastfeed. How do you think the custody arrangements would be made, based on this info? Also, would the arrangements possibly change as our child gets older?

Answer 1

re: Guest 645

Actually, Mom would not need Dad's permission to move out of state at ANY POINT.  She would need the court's permission and that is frequently granted even when the parents maintain joint custody.  It is called a "move away request."  Additionally, if Mom moved before baby is born, the courts in the location OF THE CHILD'S BIRTH will have jurisdiction and there would be no "move away" to consider.  Mom does not have to ask Dad permission to do anything - ever.  Only the courts to determine the child's best interest.

While some Moms are trying to keep baby from Dad...other's are not.  It may simply be that their marriage is over from any number of factors and the realities of caring for an infant in a period of seperation need to be dealt with.  It is also very difficult for a pregnant woman to imagine letting her newborn go - whether she is married or not.  Most men in "intact" families do not have primary care-taking away from Mom for weeks, months, some years.  While a child is comprised of part egg, part sperm to begin life you cannot ask a Mother to ignore bonds born out of biology and the fact that the baby grows within her and she has a deep connection to the baby before the baby even draws his or her first breath.  Asking her to imagine handing the baby over for any period of time is going to draw a strong reaction!  That is why these issues are usually best dealth with after the baby is born and everyone has adjusted to life, etc.  Most Mother's are very protective of their newborns.  It is just a fact.  

I would image with Mom having a newborn, breastfeeding and Dad being in the service that Mom would have an above average chance of retaining sole physical custody (with visitation to Dad - increasing with age) and joint legal custody (decision making power) from birth.