Whose Being more Selfish, Me or My Roommate?

Question

*tough

Sorry, guys, it's late and I'm slacking in the grammar and spelling department.

Answer 1

It seems that you tried to handle it in a mature way by asking if you could have a joint party since you have a lot of the same people in common.  The person who gets to be 21 first does not have dibs on the celebration especially when they come that close together.  Look at it this way, you have already shown dibs on maturity for your 21st B-day.  That is a gift that your roommate may or may not enjoy ever.  Since your bf is excluded, you may find that a more intimate celebration with someone you feel is really special will be more enjoyable anyway.

HAPPY 21ST!  DON'T TRY TO DRINK ALL THE ALCOHOL!

MAKE SURE THERE WILL BE A 22ND.  LOL

Answer 2

Have your party on the night of your birthday, then everyone will be too hungover to go to her party.

Answer 3

You're both entitled to your own party.  But neither of you are actually celebrating on your actual birthday, and neither of you "owns" that day.

She's being inconsiderate, to be sure, but she has a right to throw her own party.  She isn't required to compromise with you, although it would be polite and good roommate relations if she did.

You have two good options:

1) Have your own party and your own day.  Celebrate on Saturday Aug 2.  It's two days after your birthday instead of one - not a big deal.  And Saturday is still a great party day.  You can invite everyone you want and don't have to share the glory.  Everyone wins, no one loses.

2) Co-opt her party.  She's going to the place you want with most of the people you want.  You can arrange a dinner with a select group before the party at the bar.  Send your own invite to your friends, even if they are already invited to her party.  Add a note saying that if they've already been invited to your roommate's party, you'll all be ending up at the same bar at the same time anyway, so they should be able to float between the groups.  This isn't as considerate or desirable an option, since you are stealing some of her thunder and stooping to her level, but it does preserve your original date, if that is most important to you.

Answer 4

Its a special day for both of you and you both want to share it with people who you are close with and since you have the same friends I really dont see why you cant celebrate together It makes it easier for everyone in the end anyways!!

Answer 5

too much!you on my contacts!i think classmate be selfish!

Answer 6

That sounds like a difficult situation. I would be upset if I were you also. Maybe you can have a separate party on another day and plan something really fun. Otherwise, I would just try to have fun and make it a joint party and let her know that your boyfriend will be attending.

Answer 7

i dont think any of you guys are being selfish. i do feel that you both should maybe have the party/get together on the same day since u both have the same friends.  cuz it rly wouldnt be fair to either of you to change your party date. aas far as the boyfriend thing, if u can bring a date to the party, bring him!

Answer 8

I think your roommate is being unreasonable. I think you should just have a joint party. I mean if she has a party before your b-day you won't be able to come. That isn't right you're friends too as well as roomies right?

Then that puts you more in a situation if you send out invites for your birthday too. Making your friends choose. Maybe you should talk to the people you were both going to invite and maybe they will talk her into doing a joint thing?

Have a happy birthday and please drink responsibly. You have the rest of your life to drink legally please don't try to cram it all down in one night.

Answer 9

It's too late now,  she sent the invities already.  You might have to plan your party the next week.

Answer 10

You're not being selfish.  She is.  Her birthday celebration should have been July 26th after she came home from her vacation (which I bet she'll go out and experience her first drinks anyway with whomever she's going with).  Send out invitations to the bar for your 21st.  Tell everyone when your birthday is.  They'll all say "Hey, so-and-so is already having a birthday party there.  Why don't we celebrate both of your?"  Maybe even write in the facebook under the comments section that you'd love to join her party since your 21st happens to be on July 31st!  Then you'll have your party.  If she doesn't like it, she can get over it.  It's actually going to make you look better since hers is a belated birthday by a whole week.  Bring your boyfriend too.