Whose responsible husband or wife?

Question

if a woman's life is basically destroyed because SHE stayed in an abusive marriage for years

is she to blame for staying or is the husband responsible?

Answer 1

Ultimately her for staying but overall they both were.

Answer 2

Both of them are to blame.

Him for being an abuser.

Her for staying with an abuser.

Answer 3

Both are to blame.

thre is NO excuse for a physically or mentally abusive marriage.  The anbuse needs to seek help or get out.  That use measn THROWN OUT by the spuse.

But the abused spouse is also to blame for staying in that relationship for even one extra minute more than she (or he) has to.  At the first signs of abuse they need to pack up and leave for a shelter.

While in the shelter they file for a legal sepoaration.  The separation papers need to state that the spouse is willing to return to the marriage IF the abusing spouse gets and acts upon propler counselling ALONG WITH the abused spouse. The abuses spouse must NOT return to the marriage until the consellor says that it is OK.

And the abused spouse leaves if there is ANY more abuse.

Answer 4

With all of the awareness and the help available these days, there is no excuse for a woman staying in an abusive relationship.

Answer 5

What most people don't seem to GET either way is that even with all the help a woman has, it takes a GREAT deal of strength to take that step and psychologically women who have never been in that type of situation can NEVER understand the emotional trauma that goes along with being in that kind of relationship. I don't agree with some of the statements made and some of these women are being overly harsh.

To answer your question, however, I believe that it is on both of their parts, however, more so on the man because he understands and knows exactly what he is doing if the woman already has a low opinion of herself. And that low opinion is not nor can it entirely be her fault--some of these women came from abusive homes and it was drilled into them that they are worthless and nothing and therefore in the abusive relationship with husbands/lovers/boyfriends believe that this is the type of treatment they deserve. It takes a lot of courage for the woman to finally realize their worth, regardless of all the self-help, help organizations or programs out there. They have said on numerous occassions that it is no one BUT the abused that can help themselves.

Has Tina Turner's 'What's Love Got To With It?' taught you women nothing?

Answer 6

they are both to blame.

him for putting his hands on a woman

and her for staying there and allowing him to put his hands on her.

Life is short enough without wasting it on an abusive marriage..

Answer 7

Oh God.. Relax people!! Just another mindless idiot ranting because he wants to cause a stir. Well played, little boy.

Answer 8

What difference does it make?  Personally I'd think about 98% the man's responsible and MAYBE 2% of the blame goes to the woman, if that.

In many cases the abuse starts small so the woman doesn't think it's a big deal and as it progresses she often doesn't even realize it.  Does that make her to blame... heck no.