Whose wedding is it anyway?

Question

My sister-in-law is getting married and the MOB (mom of bride) is going crazy. She talks c**p about every wedding she attends and says how much better the other wedding will be. She is making the brides head swell because she thinks her wedding is going to be the best wedding of the century! Its getting tiring and I am sick of hearing people's special day being picked apart. She is even talking about getting a mini face lift before the wedding so she can look good for the pictures......I seriously want to call the show Bridezilla and include Momzilla in it too. Since I am like the sister I am apart of EVERYTHING! I really don't want any part of it anymore. She has already called me 4 times today about buying stamps for the shower invitations.

What should I do?

Answer 1

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to change her.  Just be aware that she is responsible for her actions, and you are responsible for yours.  Support the bride as much as possible, and if you feel up to it, confront Momzilla about a few of the things that really bother you.

Answer 2

This is the MOB's chance to live vicariously through her daughter.  

I know it's annoying, but she really wants everything to be perfect.  Let her.  

It's not your place to say ANYTHING  to the MOB or about the MOB to ANYONE, other than your hubby.  And then, tread lightly since it's his mom.  

Don't let the MOB spoil it for you.  Just smile & nod.

GL!

Answer 3

It's hard but just deal with her as much as possible. Make sure you are there for the bride as much as you can, she'll appriciate you helping relieve her stress, my grandparents tried to control my wedding and they didn't even lift a finger or chip in a penny to help, I finally just yelled at them "this is my wedding, not yours".  As upset you are with her, I garantee the bride is worse. Support her as much as you can.

Answer 4

tell your mom she needs a freaking reality check. is she going to be the one in white or your sister. what does your sister have to say about this? maybe the two of you should sit and talk to her. I see why she would be excited. but still, sounds like she needs to chill down.

Answer 5

Just try to get through it.

Don't be rude.

Try to be the peace keeper as much as you can, I am sure the bride is having a much harder time than you are.  

Answer 6

Definitely say something like the wedding planner person suggested when she dogs other people's weddings!

I had a friend who was driving me crazy about some things (not wedding-related, but a similar situation). I started leaving my phone off and leaving messages directed towards her. Something like this would work:

"Hi, you've reached Ame at (number). Please leave me a message. If this is Marie, yes, I've already gotten the stamps for the invitations. If there's anything else you'd like to add that doesn't have to do with the stamps, please let me know and I'll get back to you tomorrow after work."

Then I told her to feel free to rant and rave and carry on with the messages, but I would be deleting them all and so if it was important, she'd better state that first. Of course, I wouldn't do that with the mother, but my friend was funny and started leaving me fake ranting messages just to see if I'd actually listened to any of them (which I did - because I could often tell by her voice it was going to be good). It was a good stress reliever for both of us.

But seriously, leave your phone off if you can. Of just don't answer every time you call. It's a Monday here. If you have a job, use that as an excuse. You shouldn't be spending all of your work time planning things for the wedding.

If she was telling me she wanted a mini face-lift, I would eventually probably accidentally say, "Yes! That is a GREAT idea! You could really use one!"

:) Don't do that. Ha,ha.

Good luck! The woman sounds a little crazy, but I bet she's just really, really excited for her daughter.

I also wonder if you're not just a little jealous. Is this your husband's mom? Maybe she didn't pay as much attention to your wedding, and your feelings are hurt because she is acting like this wedding is better than everyone elses - including yours.

Answer 7

Stay out of it as much as possible. It's not easy to stand back and watch all of this, but there is no reason for you to waste your time and energy getting angry or stressed about it.

Do the best you can, smile and nod. That's all you can do. If she wants to have a face lift then let her get one. Who cares?

It will be over and done with before you know it - then they will find other things to blow out of proportion...just wait until her daughter has a child!  

Answer 8

Ugh I would go crazy too. Unfortunately you don't want to p*ss off the mom which in turn will upset the bride. Try to grin and bare it for a little while longer. Worse comes to worse, screen your calls!!!!

~MLF~

Answer 9

Unfortunately, people are just selfish and inconsiderate sometimes, and the seems to escalate during the planning of a wedding!  There is probably no stopping her completely, but here's a suggestion for something you could say when she begins to trash other's special days.

"  Well, I'm glad Stacy isn't around to hear you saying that about her wedding; she's a really sweet person and loved everything about her day!".

Now, if you say something like this, it doesn't reflect badly on you.  She may not get it the first time, but if you continue to say things along this line whenever she does this, I think she'll eventually get the picture that at least you don't want to hear it anymore!  She won't change, but maybe she'll keep her mouth shut around you!

Answer 10

Just play along - it'll all be over one day! And have fun scoffing about it behind their backs!  That's what weddings are for!

Answer 11

be gracious and take it with good humor.  i love the mini face lift idea!  haha. are you a little envious?

Answer 12

Keep yourself as removed as possible. They are family so don't be mean or rude, but don't let yourself get worn down either even if it means being firm. Help with what you can, but if you are going crazy let them know you have a life and can't spend an hour talking about stamps. Usually the easiest thing is what she will want to hear "Whatever you want, its YOUR day".  For little things its OK to tell white lies. If she calls for the fifth time about stamps, give her the "your day" line and say you need to cook dinner or go shopping or something. For things that directly involve you or things that are really ridiculous, like demanding you take a week off of work before the wedding so that you can play personal assistant or asking you to make 3000 little origami cranes for something (hopefully those are both horrible exaggerations, calmly explain why it is unreasonable or why you can't do it. FOr the things you can deal with, bit your tongue and then go home and take a bubble bath and then laugh about it with friends that aren't involved in the wedding.