Why, when you feel like a loser or unwanted, do people not believe you?

Question

Have you noticed that when you mention something that, from your own experience, is a statistically 'true' fact, ie never having had a date or success with friendships......are people inclined to believe that your hunches are false and that it is a psychological problem instead?

Answer 1

Its happened to me too... I think that people don't really realize how much something has hurt you until they experience it themselves. Whenever I would state a sad fact about me from my past people would assume I was crazy or depressed because it never happened to them. Maybe you could tell your story but leave an optimistic point to it so it doesn't seem like you are dwelling on sadness? I hoped I helped :)

Answer 2

because it's easier to blame a problem on something else rather than deal with the truth, that they actually have a problem and don't want to face them so go to a doctor for the magic pills that will make everything alright.  

Answer 3

That's a hard one, I'd say that when someone else isn't the way they are, they think it's something weird and play it off as psychological.

Answer 4

I don't think things like "never having had a date" or "success with friendship" makes you a loser or unwanted. Instead, I think that your BELIEF that you are a loser and unwanted MAKES you never have a date and unsuccessful friendships.

Core beliefs like that are made during early childhood. For example: If your parents didn't have enough time for you as a child, you probably (because you were only a child) come to the conclusion that you were "not important". You parents probably had reasons for not having time (having to work, having more children, so on) but you were too young at the time to consider any other options. You carry this core belief with you into adulthood, and it becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Try to figure out what type of core beliefs YOU have, and were they came from. Then figure out alternative "truths" to what happened (my mother had to work, it didn't mean that I was not important). Realize that you are the creator of yourself, YOU formed those beliefs about yourself from YOUR observations. You can choose to believe differently.

Answer 5

I think you are mixing up facts and conclusions.  It may be true that you have never had a date.  "Success with women" is very subjective.  Who says what success is?  Hundreds of dates?  One date that results in a happy relationship?  "Loser", on the other hand, is a conclusion, a label you put on yourself, presumably because you have never had a date.  Perhaps some people say you have a psychological problem because they see that you put these kinds of labels on yourself and that it makes you unhappy. They might react differently if you said "I've never had a date, do you have any tips on things I could change that my help me get dates?"

Check out the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns.