Why Am I Two Halves?

Question

One side of me is psychotic and twisted, and the other ((less seen)) side is sweet. I can't understand it. I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder when I was about 12 years old, and I've been monitored slightly for it since then. Now it seems to have manifested itself even more. But why? It hurts.... and I really, really, really like it.

Answer 1

In order to be diagnosed with DID at age 12, something huge must have happened in your life.  A young brain is still developing and barring very, very serious trauma and abuse, it wouldn't be suggested to diagnose a child so young.  Dissociative Identity Disorder is due to extreme trauma (abuse, neglect) experienced at a very young age.  I can possibly see the diagnosis in overseas adoptions and extreme cases of abuse being removed from the house, but treatment of DID in a child (who is still developing and the trauma is somewhat recent) would be very different than treating an adult.

I guess I'd suggest talking with your guardians or therapist or doctor about your concerns.  If you aren't involved in intensive therapy right now, it might be a good time to start up again.  You might be interested in exploring expressive therapies as well as talk therapies.  A lot of trauma survivors use art, music, play and movement in adjunct to typical trauma work.  Also, looking into a behavioral group therapy module like DBT might be helpful.  In DBT you learn ways to cope, impulse control, assessment of feelings and how to communicate to others.  Maybe creating a toolbox of coping skills will help you with the 'psychotic and twisted' side of you.

I'm not sure what you mean by "it hurts...and I really, really like it."  I guess each individuals experiences are different.  I know my struggles as someone who has DID are different than others.  That's why its good to talk these things through with your therapist.

Answer 2

We all have the bad side and the good side you just have to control your bad side.

Answer 3

It's not entirely sure why according to wikipedia!

"The causes of dissociative identity disorder have not been identified, but are theoretically linked with the interaction of overwhelming stress, traumatic antecedents,[15] insufficient childhood nurturing, and an innate ability to dissociate memories or experiences from consciousness.[16] Prolonged childhood abuse is frequently a factor, with a very high percentage of patients reporting documented abuse[13][17] often confirmed by objective evidence.[1]

Others believe DID is created iatrogenically by therapists using certain treatment techniques with suggestible patients,[4][7][17][18] though this idea is neither confirmed nor universally accepted."

Answer 4

Well we all have a good and bad side but if you have already been diagnosed with something treatable, then stick with it.  Stay with counceling or whatever treatment you are receiving and never give up on trying to get a better grip on life.  Lots of people have lots of different disorders, so you aren't alone.  The most important thing is you recognize there is a problem and are doing something about it.  Maybe change who is monitoring you if you are not happy there and don't feel you are getting better.  The right help is out there for you.  Best wishes