Why Do My Parents Fight?

Question

My parents fight every day and sometimes never stop. They fight about bills and not having enough money. We're not poore and we always seem to get by with more than enough. They both drink alot too. I'm always in my room playing guitar or reading so I'm not around them when they fight. What should I do when they fight it's beginnging to make me dapressed. I can't have my girlfriends or friends over because im embaressed of them fighting. I've also tried talking to them about it too, they just never stop. They yell at me sometimes for the dumbest reasons.

Answer 1

I am sorry you are this situation. Parents fight for many reasons, but they should keep in mind that you are there listening to every word.When people are angry they say words they really do not mean. Talk to them and let them know how you feel, let them know their fighting is hurting you. Ask them to go to Marriage counseling and all of you as a family should go to family counseling.

Answer 2

You need to find a way out of that house.  Just remember that your parent's problems don't have to be yours.  You may also want to look for a place where you can talk it out with someone, like a counselor or a support group with other young people who have the same issues.  

Answer 3

my parents fight all the time to!

they dont drink tho

tell your parents that you think theyer drinking is afecting there marrege

    theyll shutt up for a few days trust me

sorry about the dapreshon candy helps

     peace out, trez

Answer 4

Well they fight because there drunk you said they drink

Answer 5

Well for one thing, the fighting has to stop. If it doesn't, it can mess with your mind when your older. And if they're not listening to you, you need to talk to someone that they will listen to. Like another family member. Maybe an Aunt or an Uncle or a grandparent or something. If you dont have a family member to talk to you could find a cyciatrist at your school, they WILL talk to your parents for you. There is always someone you can tell. If not a cyciatrist from school, maybe your friends parents. Just someone that can talk to your parents. My parents used to fight a lot. And sometimes they still do. It already affected me and im just 13. Just find someone to talk to. Anyone thats an adult.

Hope that helps.

Good Luck!!

:D

Answer 6

the sad thing is they are acholics and they are not going to stop its worries about money and stuff bills and things like that they are just fighting and they won't if they have done this all their lifes its pretty sad for the kids i know and i am sorry if you need help get your mom take you to therapits before it gets too bad and tell her about it and if she won't talk to the school nurse about it but be careful lot to mention drinking unless you want to go to foster care or home.

Answer 7

Tell them if they need to get a divorce that you fully support it and it won't bother you. It will either give them the nudge they need to get away from each other or make them realize how inappropriate their behavior is and hopefully they'll keep their bickering more private. good Luck!

Answer 8

You should show both of your parents this question you posted here on the internet so they know that it's a real concern of yours and it's affecting your mood. If you're not close with both of them, then show the one parent you're closer to. Just say "hey mom (or dad) I have something I want to show you, I've tried talking to you about it but I don't feel like you really understand me, can you come here for a minute?" and take them to the computer and show them your question and let them read what everyone thinks. My advice to you otherwise, would be to busy yourself as much as you can outside of the house, maybe go over to your friends houses, and if you absolutely can't do any of the above, go to another relative your close to and talk to them about this. I'm sorry you're going through this, it's been a real eye opened for me... my fiance and I argue all the time in front of our boys who are only 1 & 3 years old and it's been a concern of mine, but now I truly know how much this could affect them!

Answer 9

Usually the woman nags the man until he cannot take it anymore and when he tries to defend himself the woman goes totally insane.  This causes fighting.  It is probably your Moms fault if she nags him.

Answer 10

Tell them to take it someplace else, not the home. Tell them that you want to be able to have friends over and it's OK if they don't want you to. But tell them that they should know that THEY are the reason, with their fighting, that you don't want to have friends over.

Answer 11

i understand what your going through....my parents are the same way.Sometime its just in peoples nature to fight,other times they just like arguing....but there is really nothing you can do,other than telling them how you feel when they fight.Just so you know,sometimes its better for people to argue...its how they deal with stuff

Answer 12

Talk to them about this and I'm sure you can work it out. As you get older you must start acting older yourself. Tell them how you feel! Ask them to slow down with the drinking, go for counseling. Become older and soon you will be a man that takes his own responsibilities! e.g. you become your own person! Someone who did say something and became stronger because of it!

Answer 13

Their fighting, sadly, is between them and isn't about you. It sounds like they have some overwhelming personal issues between them and they may not be able to solve them.

Life isn't perfect. All you can do is control your own reaction - you cannot control the reaction of others, not even your parents.

Answer 14

Maybe you should suggest going to counseling. Whenever my parents fight, I get my younger sister (11) to go change the subject, talk about nice things, and my parents can't resist my sister. So it always works out. She acts like a baby and shouts 'STOP FIGHTING' in an innocent way. I don't know.

Hope all goes well.

:D

Answer 15

Hm, sorry 'bout the situation. Maybe you should go to a relative or friend's house for a while if possible-let your parents try to work things out.

I don't know, that might work

Hope I helped =)

Answer 16

Ach, I know what it's like coming from a far less than perfect household.  As for why do they fight?  There could be any number of reasons... like too much drinking, or losing sight of what brought them together in the first place, perhaps frustration on where they are at that point of their lives.  If they yell at you to, they must not be open to suggestions such as counseling.  If there is any way possible, it would be worth a try to check out a family counselor.  If their fighting is getting to you, you might want to go see one yourself.  

That of course, is the standard answer.  What I used to do was stay out for as long as possible, I got really involved in sports and community stuff because it gave me an outlet and was an excuse for me not to be home.  Maybe you should give it a shot?  Find a passion and follow it, so that when you go home at night and see them fighting, you have something else to hold on to, a memory or an event to look forward to that will keep you going, that won't let you get dragged down into their personal h**l.

Sure its a band-aid solution, but sometimes the best you can do is save yourself.

For your depression...turn to a friend, just a single person, and tell them absolutely everything.  Make sure its someone who can be trusted and who will always always always be there.  There are times when you need someone to drag you along to keep you going, so make sure you keep that option open.  Just knowing that someone knows can help with the depression, because even if your parents are like that, at least someone else loves and cares enough about you to stop and listen.

Give life a chance, and it will eventually improve, I promise.  There are days when we all wonder why we woke up in the morning, but there WAS a reason.  Hold onto it.

Answer 17

I know it may sound stupid, but I am not even kidding. Most parents, fight because they love eachother, but of course they always fight over the dumbest things. And I know its hard but theres really nothing we can do about it. I wish you good luck!

PeACe.

Answer 18

sounds like theyre both under a lot of stress over a lot of stuff...

i hope things get better for u and ur parents!

good luck!

Answer 19

you can't blame everything on drinking maybe they have issues that neither want to face and resolve drinking may help them deal with each other

Answer 20

They are fighting because they are drunk. They are drunk, probably because of issues that go back all the way to their childhood.

Maybe you can go to a friend's house when they fight, or to a nearby relative. You may also want to look into Al-anon, a support group for family members of alcoholics. Also, look into counseling at school.

A lot of people here are saying you should be trying to get them to change, or to go to marriage counseling. I suggest that you do NOT do that, or at least wait until your own counselor says you should. The reason is that they are supposed to be responsible for you, not vice versa. If you attempt to fix them, you are setting yourself up for failure, and you may well blame yourself for not doing enough.

My advice is to do everything you can to get out of there ASAP. Get good grades so you can get into college (hopefully with scholarships). Studying at the library will keep you out of the house a bit. If college isn't right for you, get a job when you can, and save your money so that you can move out when you turn 18. You may even want to look into emancipation.

Answer 21

Tell them to grow up and figure out why they got married in the

first place. And to lay off the alcohol for once, and to care about

you more.

Answer 22

Well, you can't really know why they fight. Part of it is because they're alcoholics, but not all alcoholic couples fight. Apparently they do. There's really nothing you can do to fix them. You have a big enough job taking care of your self. You shouldn't have to take care of your own parenting, but it's happened to lots of others. Please talk to your school counselor. You can also talk to the local women's center, and they can help you get someone to talk with. They can also help you decide how to talk to your parent, if you decide to, about this.

Keep in mind that kids don't always know the realities of their parents' finances. They may be way in debt to keep up a lifestyle, using credit cards to afford the extras. That doesn't excuse their behavior, but it's possible and, from what you say, likely that they have money trouble.  

Answer 23

maybe talk to a counseler or something. if you have depression or other mental illnesses from it follow my link

Answer 24

my parents are the same. time are tough. they have a lot to argue about for a lot of reasons. its hard to live in an ecnomy that is spiralling down due to its idiotic president and his horrible policies.

please help me with mine:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 25

they are probably drunk

of frustratedd.

Answer 26

Problems and arguments will always arise between parents. The drinking does not help either, just take some time when they are sober and talk to them individually not together.

Answer 27

its becuase of you

Answer 28

Aww...honey...I'm sorry.  Their drinking has a lot to do with it...and overall, they just don't sound very happy.  Pray for them, and for your entire family...Jesus is truly the only path to peace.

Answer 29

Well sweetie, I'm not sure why your parents are fighting SO much but remember that people do fight and they still love each other.  Drinking does not help matters and you remember that when you get older and just don't follow that example.  Good luck to you and I hope things get better for you.

Answer 30

your parents fight b/c they are stressed out b/c of bills and probably their jobs, etc. it's not your fault at all. They don't know how to communicate with each other in a healthy way, so they just fight. It sounds like they need couples counseling and maybe rehab if they drink. Know that it has nothing to do with you and that you deserve better than this. Join a group like boys or girls club and try to stay busy outside of the house.  If you can write them a letter telling them how you feel, and be honest in a nice way, that might help. Good luck!

Answer 31

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. It's not right for you to have to hear this.Do you have a family member you can talk to?Let them know what's going on and ask for their help to talk to your parents to let them know how this is affecting you. Good luck to you. Things will get better.