Why Do People Who Weren't Adopted Try to Dictate to Adoptees How to Think and Feel About their Own Adoption?

Answer 1

I think it happens on any blog or site.  It happens to people who are adopted, who adopted, and who gave up rights.  People are telling adoptive people it is wrong to be happy or sad, people are telling PAP that is is good or bad to adopt, people are telling expectant mothers to keep the baby or give up the baby.  Everyone has a right to their opinions but feelings are each individual rights, until you walked in the shoes of an adoptee, infertal couple, a woman who is choosing then remember you can give opinions, but not tell them what to feel.

Answer 2

It's funny...  I've never seen anyone tell an adoptee to be angry...

But I've seen lots of people tell adoptees to be grateful, to not search, to get over it, to be happy, etc.

I think they do it because they're insecure.

Answer 3

Dear Heather B,

Congratulations for this question.

According to my thoughts and believes they do this because they think they know our feelings. No matter if they don't.

It's wrong to try to tell US this stuff cause we really know better.

In this way I believe they try to look like they know everything, even though the do not.

Love,

Super Horse Lover!

Answer 4

I don't know but it happens here a lot. If you're not angry they just attack everything you write and say you're wrong about everything.

I try to understand that maybe someone is angry but that doesn't mean that they can tell me how I feel.

Isn't that weird?

Oh - were you talking about me? I thought you were asking a question not breaking the Community Guidelines.

I gave advice, I didn't tell anyone how to feel. But you've tried to dictate my feelings every time I've tried to post here. It seems like you misfits really don't like it when happy folk visit. And just to be clear, I am adopted.

ETA - no one here is a plant or part of a big conspiracy and repeating the accusation violates Community Guidelines.

Answer 5

I don't know. Why do people who say they WERE adopted try to dictate feelings to other adoptees?

People behave very strangely here. If a parent or child posts something positive about adoption they demand a retraction.

Maybe you're in a better position to tell us why than I am.  

Answer 6

Agenda?. Self interests?.

I would compare the adopto industry to n**i's trying to tell a someone in a concentration camp how to feel about the separation of their family.