Why Do So Many People Make a Big Deal About Child Discipline?

Question

Okay so the other day me and my son(15) were at the mall cause he wanted to buy some clothes for school, well he wanted to buy some shirt and it was for freaking $150, I could afford but it was extremely unreasonable so i told him no. Well he started to whine and complain and tel me he hated me (the usual from teenagers) so i raised my hand backwards to slap him (like a pimp slap) so he would shut up, but just as i was about to do it some lady yelled at me and told me to stop at once and that i was a horrible parent for "abusing my child". Well i ended up not paying attention to her and i smacked my son anyways, but i just want to know why people make such a big deal over things like this?

Answer 1

Because they can't mind their own business. I wouldn't slap my son in the face, but I can't say that I haven't mouthed off to my Mother and got backhanded for it. I knew I deserved it and I straightened up.

Answer 2

First of all telling you he hates you is NOT "the usual from teenagers".  If your teenager tells you that, you have failed to raise a respectful young person.  That is probably due to the fact that you "pimp slap" him.  why should he grow into a respectful person if you treat him with such disrespect?

I am all for a decent spanking, but slapping him is not the way to earn his love, admiration and respect.

**********

ADDED for Jackolope:   You are mistaken.  It isn't illegal to use corporal punishment in ANY US state.  Here is a web site to prove that.:

http://kidjacked.com/legal/spanking_law....

****JACKOLOPE>>>>Interesting article.  If it does get passed it will probably set the precedence for other states to follow.  Sad, sad world, isn't it?

************OKAY >>>>I wasn't suggesting that you spank him, I was only stating that I do believe in it so that my answer wouldn't be mistaken as written by someone who doesn't believe in corporal punishment.  

Secondly, I do have teenagers...two of them to be exact.  And one is 15..just like yours.  Neither of them have ever told me they hate me (although I said it to my mom when I was a teenager).  Not because they are perfect or great, but because they RESPECT me.  It started way back when.  I don't think spanking a fifteen years old is the right answer at all, it should have been done long ago instead of slapping his face.

Answer 3

Have you made the connection yet?  He says he hates you and you immediately raise your hand to hit him.  Doesn't take a genius to understand why he would say that.

Answer 4

Because thats not discipline.  Its abuse.  There is a difference.

Answer 5

I am 16 and i think that kids should be disciplined in order to teach us to respect our elders and teach us to behave when necessary.  I've seen many kinds who lack respect for their elders. Anyways, my mom said that people make a big deal because they think it is cruel to children.  Discipline becomes cruel when it is an overkill and that's when it turns into abuse.  A little discipline won't hurt a child but turn him or her into a better person in the long run.

Answer 6

Beats h**l outta me. I know there are some abusive parents, and there are a whole lot of parents that think the "time out" thing works. There is nothing better than a good old fashioned ***-whipping when deserved.  I know for a fact. I had my share of them growing up. Up to and including a beer bottle busted over the back of my head after a shouting match when I as walking out the door. Anyway, I guess most people despise  violence and go with the turn the other cheek theory. Guess what folks..it don't work. There comes a time when you can not spare the rod. Maybe the boy ought to go find some type of employment,( ie: mow lawns, wash cars etc.) and buy his own clothes from now on if he wants a $150 shirt. h**l show this to him. If he was mine, he would wear what I bought or just have to do without. Just for reference, I am 58 yrs old a raised 2 kids, now grown and on their own with their own kids. They thank me for teaching them how to be more conservative with their money. PS: Kids haven't really learned yet about the I hate you thing. They don't hate us, they get mad and it's just the first thing that comes out of their mouth. He will outgrow it as he gets another few years under his belt. Til then, good luck.

Answer 7

yeah...it's pretty bad theese days...it's illegal to use corporal punishment on your kids at all in california(and i'll be willing to bet it will be in the rest of the nation too)

you've got to becareful what you do out in public with your kids ,that lady probably reported you to cps...

i don't have any older children..like you but i find my child does react positively to spanking if used sparingly...it's not beating, it's corrective,you're not doing it to relieve you anger,he is not your punching bag when you've had a bad day,you're doing it to show him what's right and wrong...simple as that.

people are just ultrasensitive...but from your standpiont i'd be irritated to..people are too nosey and need to stay out of your dang buisness...they can call cps IF you are REALLY beating your kids(you know,bruises,ect...,not just for discipline)or doing drugs aroung your kids,you know, REAL problems...

i can't stand those people...

edit:not suggesting you spank a fifteen year old LOL that's kinda ridiculous, but i agree that people need to stay out of other's parenting unless they ask for help.

Answer 8

you did the right thing.

i see kids whining in the store all the time and i wish their parents would do something about it.

thank you.  

Answer 9

you 'pimp' slapped him? so your comparing him to a prostitute?

if I saw you in the mall I would probably snicker and walk away. and no, saying 'I hate you' isn't typical teenage behavior, if I said that to my mom she would pop my mouth or throw me over her knee.

she would cause it happened when I was 18 so I know your never too old to get good whoopin!

as for my 4 boys however they got their spankings all before 5 so now we discipline in more constructive way that will hopefully help them solve their own problems when they are grown and out of the house.

*snicker* teen age boys are a riot when you can laugh about it later!

Answer 10

They got alot of time on there hands

Answer 11

Because their kids are wild and they don't know how to discipline. You did the right thing!

Answer 12

Man that's a good azz question!!  I am 13 years old and just yesterday I told my mother that I would back hand my child anytime they got out of line. And she told me that I would probably go to jail cuz of some of those laws against child abuse.  I really want to keep my future children in line and back hand them anytime they act up or don't listen to me.  I think that some people think that that is inflicting pain on their child, but to me it is just the consequences.  

Answer 13

honestly there is always going to be a discussion on this topic. and there will never be a real reason as to why people love minding other people's business. if I was doing that when I was your son's age my dad would have slapped me too. but I also think that people read the word ( in this case) or see some slap their child and if they don't agree they start fuming and it's like look you handle your kids and I'll handle mine.  

Answer 14

I would ask yourself why it got to the point that he said he hated you in the first place. Why does he feel that's ok? And I don't know of any 15 year old where this is normal behavior. Nor do I see any reason for slapping a child that is justified.

You lost your cool, he got a reaction. Next time march him out of the store and make him buy his own clothes.

Answer 15

I don't think that's abuse, but at his age, he should know better than to disrespect you like that, and it seems like you need to address this problem with more than a back hand.

Answer 16

I understand completly, but you have to be open minded   Dont slap your kid aside the head! My daughter use to do that, and stopped, because it can affect a child no matter what age.

Would you rather have him obey you because hes afraid of you,..Or respect you??YOU BE THE MOTHER!!

Answer 17

Wait - you backhanded your 15 year old son for whining?  Actually slapped him across the face with the back of your hand?  And you refer to this as a "pimp slap"?

??????????

I have no words.  I just hope this question is fake.