Why Do You Hate Us? A Plea from a Pakistani Cricket Fan
My torturous summer of cricket finally ended when your team defeated mine by a huge margin in the final ODI match. This win sealed the deal for my men in green, who lost all the three formats to your very own masters of the game, yet you don’t seem content
with that.
You, the British media, are h**l bent upon banishing my beloved team from the international cricket. I am pained am appalled am distraught and I wonder why? I hope you have some time to read this plea from an avid fan of cricket, who was the happiest man
on the face of the earth when your team had won the mother of all series, the 2005 Ashes.
I was overjoyed when you finally broke the jinx of not having won an ICC trophy, earlier this year in the Caribbean. I loved Andrew Flintoff, http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Simon-Jones-c2531, Michael Vaughan, Graeme Hick (Just because my idol, Waqar Younis, kept rolling him over, every time-
hahaha), Chris http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Wasim-Akram-c96292 sent him packing first ball in the 1992 Final) and even that dirt carrier, who hails from Oxford and weighed-in his vocabulary at one of our journalists in 1996, lovingly labeling him a “Buffoon”.
While, I love them all I wonder why they hate my cricket team? What have they done to deserve this? All throughout, you guys kept on labeling them as match fixers and as that wasn’t enough, you derailed my Rawalpindi Express at the http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Rose-c86842 Bowl, not realizing
that he was fast grinding to a halt himself? Why I wonder why? We did not win anything at all this year. We gifted you the first two tests and also the T20 series, not to forget the meekest surrender at Lords and yet, like a tough task master, you are not
pleased.
On the other hand, we didn’t send any one to the hospital via a toe crusher, we did not ask beefy where his mother-in-law was and on top of it, we treated Jonathan Trott as a special child who just wanted to hog attention, even allowing him to hit our poor
lad from Lahore, Wahab Riaz, besides gifting him a test century at the home of cricket. Still, you refuse to budge, see over the years you have always been difficult to us. I wonder if you were ever taught hospitality.
Can we call for a truce now? See, we are so generous. We drop sitters so that your woeful batsmen resurrect their test and ODI careers. We miss straight forward run out chances and then to top it all, we make average bowlers like Stuart Broad turn into national
heroes, not to forget the most un-stylish all-rounder of them all, Michael Yardy!
Finally, let me spend some time telling you about our long lasting love. Do you remember that you ruled us for almost a century and played cricket all over my country. We just fell for your game, yes your game. We went crazy, obsessed playing the game like
there was no tomorrow and just by sheer co-incidence, we drew out the inaugural series against you. Gosh! Mr. http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Fazal-Mahmood-c56927, you should have waited for a few years. Why did you bowl that searing spell at Oval 56 years ago? Why did you make them grovel?
Ouch! Sorry! I wasn’t supposed to use this word. I can hear the men from Caribbean laugh. I can see the swagger of that big man from Antigua. See, I know you are a generous lot. You even knighted him after he made you grovel. Argh! I said it again. Sorry!
Forgive me, please forgive me. I promise you that my team would never ever torment you; never will we send an 18-year-old on the tour. Henceforth, all 18-year-olds will be at local dilapidated football grounds.
I promise you, we will never ever make them bowl left-arm fast!
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