Why Does my Mom Hate Me?

Question

my mom is always too lazy to take me anywhere

but yet she is super over protective

and she punishes me for no reason many times

she always yells at me and it seems like she loves my sisters more than me

she always does what they want hugs them and tells them she loves them but for me she just rolls her eyes and rants how she thinks im getting fat and that i dont have friends anymore ( because my friends turned on me)

it hurts deep down and i havent done anything wrong latley

heres an example of how she would act:

i would ask her if she could drive me to one of my friends house to hang out

and she would say no and fall asleep and tell me that i cant hang out with them and i suggest i can walk to their house but she says no

this is all the time

what can i do?

Whenever i try to talk to her and say that she doesnt love me as much she says " BS! your a messy girl and i cant believe your my daughter"

Answer 1

There is a big age gap between you and your sisters.  Do you know why this is?  Did she perhaps have you at a young age and for some reason blames not being able to do things at that age on you?  Of course, in no way would it be your fault.  She may harbor feelings subconsciously without even knowing it and blames it on other things.  Sounds like it is a problem your mom has that has nothing to do with you personally.  Just try and be as sweet and helpful as possible to her.  Why does she think you are messy?  Is this perhaps something you can change?  There may be no way really that you can get her to change her actions toward you, but you can know that it is nothing wrong about you.  It is hard to understand why some parents have favorites and treat others unkindly.  It is the parent that has a problem.  My mom always loved all 4 of us the same no matter what we did.  I feel the same about my kids.  So it is hard to understand parents that do not have the same love in their hearts.  Fortunately you are 16 and won't be at home many years longer.  Just remember this and do not be like her and try not to hold it against her as there may be problems in her life no one knows about that have made her this way.  Do not let her bring you down because of this.  Everyone is responsible for their own happiness so don't let yours be dependent on her actions.  

Answer 2

wow,um I'm sure she loves you she just shows it differently.Try to hug her more and say I love you to her more??See what she does.If she diden't love you she woulden't be over protective she would say whatever and woulden't care where you were who you were with.I thought the same thing that my mom diden't love me as much as my older sister, that wasen't the case it was just that she showed love in a diffrent way I'm very independent so when I did somthing she woulden't really care because i'm always doing things by for self... But my older sister is a reck she can't do anything for her self she is always wanting people to complament her but i'm not like that.So she would be saying how pretty she was and she loves her so much,then when I said you don't love me she would be like BS! i'm sick of this you're always thinking that just stop okay and she would get all mad.Then later she explaned it to me...That she loves me as much as my older sister just in a diffrent ways.She spent so much time with my older sister because she needed her more even though I wanted her i diden't NEED her like my oldetr sister, and she said sorry because yes i don't need her to say how pretty I am like my older sister doesen't mean I don't want her to say it... Just because I don't NEED her all the time to hug and kiss me like my older sister dosen't mean I don't WANT her too,She thought I diden't want it.If you bring it up all sudden like you don't love me you love her more blah blah they get mad and if you try to talk it out over and over again they think your being a drama queen.Well I hope you can talked to her soon and explan what you feel, Mabe if you show her this she will get what you mean not that she dosen't love you deep dowm you know she does but that you just want more examples of  it like me...

Best OF Luck :D

If you ever need to talk contact me on my profile my name is Jamie and i'm 14,well anyways hope it works out XD

Oh and just in case you want to know my older sister is 17!

Answer 3

Wow, that's harsh. Some parents are like that, like my friend. They just want to discipline there kids. I feel very sorry for you. :' (

Answer 4

Sounds like my mom. Only difference is she was like that with my siblings too. I dont know what advice I can give you. I just grew apart from my mother and only talked to her when I had to. But now she blames our bad relationship on my indifference.

Try staying out of her hair for a while.  

Answer 5

wow thats harsh my mother and i used to have problems like this. maybe you should sit down and whether she likes it or not tell her how you feel. if this doesnt work try your grandparents if possible. When i was in highschool I moved in with my grandparents then later on moved back in with my mom the separation brought us closer together and now we get along fine. help this helps you! good luck.

Answer 6

As someone else said, she might be jealous of you for some reason. Then again, she may think you're a tough girl and can handle more than the others. As odd as that sounds its like the mentality of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". She might be doing this with more love towards you than you can believe. Good Luck!! But she does love you... really, she does. : )

Answer 7

haha WOW! SAME EXACT THING HERE!

but i know she doesn't hate you.

she really loves you

maybe your a ***** to her without even meaning to be?

and thats what makes her not want to do things for you

Answer 8

She should NOT be telling you that you're fat and that she can't believe you're her daughter.  That's called verbal abuse.  You need to talk to her, and if she doesn't stop you should talk to another trusted adult.

Answer 9

JUST LIKE ME!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

Your momma don't hate you honey, she just don't understand you. Please give her a little credit because she really won't figure it out until you move out the house. And after that happens then you would understand why she really didn't understand you...

Answer 11

Try something different help your mom do the dishes the laundry or whatever you can and open up a positive conversation.  Don't say anything negative give her a chance to see you care about her.  The best time to talk is when both of you are busy together.  Then it doesn't seem quite so serious.  Remember don't accuse or blame her for anything you are trying to have a good conversation and begin to build a good relationship.  I hope this works!!!

Answer 12

hang in there u will get out and become successful and then she would be sorry dat she treated u like dirt. dont do anything 2 ur self cause its not ur fault ok  

Answer 13

My mom was like that.

It isn't you. She does love you. I can guarentee it. She just has a lot of her own problems that she doesn't know how to deal with.

It is not fair to you, but she probably doesn't even fully realize what she is doing and how it effects you.

Be patient and find it in your heart to know that she does love you.

Don't do what I did. I was so fed up with my mom that I ran away and stayed away for a long time. When I started to try to find her again and reconnect, my half sister told me she had passed away fom cancer. This was so hard to deal with since not only could I not say goodbye, but I had the guilt of being mad and leaving.

Please. Be patient and remind yourself that your mother probably has a lot of personal troubles and it does not mean she doesn't love you.

I am now a mother and I know what it is like to have emotional issues and also have a child who looks to you for support and strength.

You just have to try and understand your mother if human and won't always do the right things but she still loves you.  

Answer 14

Aww, she doesn't hate you. It may feel like it but I can almost guarantee that she doesn't. How old are you? Are you the oldest of the kids? I would suggest writing her a letter. Leaving it for her when you go to school for her to read alone, or at least without you around. Let her think about what you wrote. I'd be very honest in the letter, but mature. Don't call names, say hurtful things, just tell her how you feel. Another piece of advise is, when (and if) you write this letter, don't say things like "you make me feel" use your words carefully. Instead of "you make me feel" say "I feel when you...it makes me feel..." I know it seems very similar, but it's not. Instead of placing the blame on her right away, causing instant defense and a wall of anger from her, by saying "I feel" you are taking the responsiblility of the feeling(s). It will come across much more positive than potentially starting an arguement. Also, if your mom is sleeping alot, and seems very down on you, consider maybe she is going through something on her own. Possibly she is upset about something. It may not be related to you whatsoever, but maybe if you reach out and show some concern of her feelings, she may open up to you, and with that feel a bond that can begin or rekindle that special relationship a daughter and mother should share.

Good luck sweetheart. And most importantly, know that you are a very special person. Regardless of any one else's opinion. Know that you are caring (you wouldn't have written this question if you weren't) and beautiful inside and out. Don't let it hurt you, just try and fix it. Take care love.

Answer 15

right.

same with me! well, not the cussing or "i don;t love you.", yeah she hugs me alt, but when i hug her too much, she phuses me away and my feelings get hurt.

but your mom should be your best friend.

how did she treat you before ,when you were your sister's age?

when,she's in agood mood, try to talk to her. but don;ttalk back to her.it will worsen your condition.

tell your father, or a perosn that you trust enough t tall them this, or i can call the police,evne thjough you don;t know me. or you can. or go to therapist in your shcool.

get help.

you can reachme at:

www.myspace.com/carla_ss

Answer 16

you should really talk to an adult like a coundelor about your situation. good luck

Answer 17

SAME HERE AND I F******* HATE IT!!!!

grrrr! it gets me so pissed!!!

nothing is ever good enough. it sucks.

Answer 18

i experience this problem daily but without cussing

i'm sorry :|

i hope things work out with you and your mom  

Answer 19

hhhhhmmm, telll her how you feel and talk to her.

Answer 20

wow, that`s awful.  is there any other parent or guardian in your household?  next time you talk to her, say 'mom, it really hurts my feelings whenever you yell at me and treat me wrong.  why?'  give her some examples on how she acts.  she probably does not realize how she is around you.  your mom loves you. just make sure she shows it.  give her a hug and see how she reacts

Answer 21

JUST like my parents.

Answer 22

I guess It's all of the mothers on the planet because your NOT alone!!!

My mom acts the same towards me ad your mother would

She obviously loves my sister more than me

Those menopausal women are just b*****s to there oldest

It's really not fair.

:'(

Good luck

Peace.

Answer 23

...Do you have a dad? If you do and he doesn't hate you, live with him.

I don't know why she hates you like that. Its not right. Or you can live with another relative.

Answer 24

some parents are like that they might get mad at u for one thing and always remember that i would suppose if u really want to go 2 ur friends hosue u can walk there as long as ur old enough and its not 2 far away as long as u tell her your going so she doesnt get worried  

Answer 25

This is a very sad situation for you!  Are you by chance a second child (in birth order I mean)?  My mom did this with my sister.  Mom now says that she never connected with her when she was a baby because of post partum depression.

Answer 26

talk to her about it.  

Answer 27

Id be like...( Hey you lazy w h o r. get of your *** and drive me to my friends house, before i get on you like ugly on an ape.

Answer 28

oh boy.

well, you can tell her you need a therapist for starters.

Next time she let's your sisters do something you can't ask her if you did something wrong to make it so you couldn't go too.

Does your dad live with you?

If so, try talking to him, then maybe he'll talk some sense into her.