Why I'm i being neglected?!?

Question

my mom and stepfather preffer my bigger sister i dont know why she has gotten suspended expelled has gone to court and gotten a ticked my mom still loves her more.

like on cristms my sister got all she wanted i only got a sweeter a 3$ sweeter im a good girl i do so many things to please them but nothing works?!

i am in soccer

art

ap classes

i have even gone to writing competitons and won!

i feel so bad when we visit my sister!

i want to cry!

they took my dog away for no reason and gave him to her!

mom called me a stupid liar cuz i told her i got an a on a quiz!

she didnt say sorri she never does!

i hate my familli well i hate the world actually everybody likes my sister better maybe i should just kill myself or runaway i dont think that if im not wanted im a be happy

Answer 1

you are bright and independant and unfortunately you have to suffer for being well-adjusted because your sister is not.  your parents are paying more attention to your sister because she is failing, whereas they think you are doing fine.  it does not mean she is better.  they are putting their energy where they perceive it is needed most, but have forgotten that you also need their attention and love.

i am sure your parents love you very much.  it is incredibly difficult for them to go through the things your sister is doing.  they must be so grateful for who you are. have you tried telling them your true feelings?

Answer 2

First off don't even consider ending your life.  That would be a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  On the surface it looks like your parents, unknowingly, have been so focused on helping your sister that they have lost sight of you.  This may or may not change.  You can't control how others think and behave.  You can control how you think and how you react.  Take charge of your life by doing what you know is best for you.  Doing things to attempt to win attention from others only sets you up for disappointment.  Sure it's nice to be recognized and reassured as you grow.  Realize that your parents have their hands full with your sister and may not have the capacity to give you everything that you need.  I would strongly encourage you to seek counseling.  A good counselor can help you work through some of these things.  Hopefully this could also lead to family counseling, which sounds like a good idea to me.  I understand your hurt and frustration, don't give up.  You need someone in your life that will encourage you and help you work through your feeling, a counselor can fill that role.  Your counselor at school is a good start, but, you may want to see a private counselor that can provide you with more individualized attention.

Answer 3

Looks like their is a sick home you live in. Sounds sorda like an alcoholic home or drug addict home. Everyone is playing a roll. Sis is the bad one to get attention. You are the good one and still don't get attention. Your parents seem very sick. You sound like a child or a teen. This has got to be hard! I grew up in a home like that and am still dealing with my half sis is loved and not me and my brother. My brother was like you. Although he has problems from not dealing with his childhood he is a personal banker, has a nice wife, and beautiful kids. The cycle is changing! I would suggest that you find someone who will care about you, like go to big brothers or big sisters. find a good church home and make that your family. Go to your guidance counselor. Getting this stuff out will help you! You are worth it!!! Please don't give up by falling in! I will pray for you! Oh another thought... volunteer in something that makes you happy. Helping others will help you feel loved!

Answer 4

Don't think about ending your life because other people are idiots.

Families can be stupid and cruel without realising it. Just stick it out till you can move out, then you'll have a great life, you sound smart so you'll easily get a good job with plenty of money.

Answer 5

First of all....  Sorry to hear you've been made to feel that way.  It's not fair and it's not right.

However, what you're wanting is the "why is this happening to me" question to be answered.  Knowing the psychology of it may or may not help you feel better.

But from what you've described, it's my bet that it's a two-fold issue.  

1)  Your sister does things (has taken a position in the family) that "demands" (or perhaps a better word is "commands") their attention.  She does things (good or bad) that puts the spotlight on her.  The accomplishments you've listed for yourself are great and something to be proud of, but they may also be the kinds of things your family expects from you.  And so don't stand out in their minds.  To them, those are just what makes you, you.  

2)  Of you and your sister....  Which would you say is more "like" mom?  Which of you seems closer to being a copy of who mom is as a person?  In that answer, you may also find some reason for mom's behavior.  (For example, in my family, I'm more the black sheep.  My sibling in behaviors, in interests, in opinions seems to relate more to my folks.  On the other hand, I don't connect with them as well.  And so, seems like he has a closer, "better" relationship w/ them.  He is more their "golden child".)  

However, something to keep in mind.  We don't always see a situation clearly.  We tend to see a situation for how it hurts us individually and we interpret the behaviors of others by how they hurt us.  But if we looked at how those behaviors reflect on that other person or on the situation, we may see that those other ppl didn't mean to hurt us.  They were just too caught up in their own personal point of view that they don't pay the right kind of attention to us.  

To that end....  Perhaps you need to have a talk with Mom.  If she's not likely to give you the attention by just talking, you might break her behavior pattern by asking flat out, "Why do you like sister better than me?"  That should start a dialogue.

MOST IMPORTANT....  If you've gotten to the point of considering running away or having thoughts of suicide, it's time to talk to someone more qualified than us.  Talk to a teacher or counselor at school.  Talk to another relative....  An aunt, grandmother, anyone who may be able to help you to a better state of mind.

Just remember....  You are not alone, young lady.  

Be well.

Answer 6

I feel so bad for you

I used to feel the same way....

I started hateing everyone.

Then I turned quiet and stopped talkin to my friends..

I barely talk anymore.. now

And I stopped caring about what ppl said and done.

I dont talk to my family that much either

But killing yourself wont work

Try running away

Your family will get worried

They will notice that your not there

And your family will think I should have treated her better

They will treat you better when they find you of course

Or maybe be bad like your sister

And if your parents ask y are you doing this

say that your sister is bad and u love more than me

That if I be bad maybe you will love me

"Mom called me a stupid liar cuz i told her i got an A on a quiz"

lol Thats messed up

I would have exploded and yelled at her for that

You try hard to get good gets and they dont appreicated it

They will never get the good parent award!

They will be sorry when you become a lawyer or scientist or Doctor or Nurse or whatever....And become rich and successful

And then your mom might say sorry

That you really did get an A and is smart!

And also your sister getting everything she wants

And you get a piece of S**t sweater for $3

I would have been so mad for that

I hate cheap b******s

So wronge!

Answer 7

I don't know how old you are, but I can tell you that I was in a situation like that and I still am.  Ever since my mother got remarried to my stepfather who doesn't like me, I decided I would run away and go to Colorado for a while to live.. but had to come back.. after 4 years, Now everyone treats me like the black sheep of the family.  My mom, sister, and my brothers are all treated better than me.  I know how you feel.  don't kill yourself.. just remember and keep telling yourself "things will get better".