I am in my later 30's and still am upset about things that have happened in my past, dating back to high school. First of all, I was a very popular person. When i went to college, I felt invisable and partied way too hard. In the meantime, my supposed "friends" ended up fading away. I still stay in touch with 1 girl, but because of many things, I feel like I want to do away with that friendship because she is also not a very good friend to me. Basically, I feel like the people that used to be my friends, were not very good friends. For example, I had a lot of both long term boyfriends and short term boyfriends, but I never once did anything inapppropriate. I was honest, didnt sleep around, but one of my friends, ironically named Stephanie, would not talk to me for months everytime I had a boyfriend and said really crappy things about me to the others. I guess I wanted to be liked, so I put up with it. I think Stephanie only worried about herself, she is literally obsessed with her looks, to the point, where she puts her children second. Then, finally after college Stephanie started getting noticed, and then it was all fine and good that she could just ignore her friends. I always tried hard to make sure she had people to hang out with if I was busy. Now that we are adults, she still acts like I am the one with the problem and we havent talked in years, however, she recently has tried to get in touch with all the girls from high school that have become estranged and they all seem open to it. I feel like they have forgotten how awful she can be to me, and in the end, it would be to them too if they give her enough time. It makes me really depressed because I feel like I have very few real friends that I can rely on when life is really hard. Why is it that I was a really good friend to her, and she basically does her darndest to make it look like I was all these bad things. And the kicker is that the other friends seem all fine with it. I think that friends should be life long and not fair weathered. I am wondering if I am the one with the problem. I feel lonely and left out, but I am not lowering myself to a nasty persons behavoir. I have a good life, but I am still bothered by this. My "friends" seemed to all go their own way after high school with the exception of a couple. One girl who I have always been close to had been hearing from Stephanie a lot and it seems as though I am getting snuffed out. It shouldnt bother me, but for some reason it does, but why?
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