Why I want to adopt privately?

Question

my husband and I want to adopt. We have 2 children of our own and have been married six years. The reason behind private adoption is my husband comitted a felony about a year ago. He was a police officer and while on a call supposly stole 2000 dollars. Yes, he was charged and spent 3 months in jail. He has never had a record before and is a very good father and man. We were told we can not adopt because of his record. But we could if we found a person privately. It is hard for me to get pregnant and stay pregnant. About a year ago I gave birth to a still born baby girl and have been trying to get pregnant again for over a year. I have one biological son and my daughter is my step daughter who I raise. We are such a good family and are so close, I feel bad because we want to open our home to those that need one and we are not aloud. My husband actively goes to church with us every week and loves our family so much.

Answer 1

Even if you adopt privately, you'll have to have a home study done as well as criminal and child abuse and neglect background checks done in order to get approved.  The offense will show up with they do the criminal background check and could prevent you from even adopting privately.  You'll want to check this out before you spend too much money and time on the process.  That would be heartbreaking to spend six months and possibly thousands of dollars only to find that you can't get approved.

You might want to see if it's possible to explain the conviction to an agency.  Did he have a supervisor or anyone who believed he was innocent who would write a letter to that effect?  I don't know...I hope you can get it cleared up.

Don't follow prharleygirl's advice, btw.  It's bad.  It's illegal (fraud) and unethical...and what happens when the TRUE biological father shows up and asks for a DNA test & when the child turns out to be his biological child, the child is ripped from your arms at age seven??  It's just wrong and just plain stupid.

Answer 2

Your best bet is to find someone who is willing to carry your child.  You can pay all of their expenses until 6 weeks after the baby is born.

Also, being involved in a church is very helpful.  Make sure that it is known that you and your husband are wanting to adopt.  Attend as many socialzing events and classes as you can to meet new people.  For every person that you meet, they know 20 other people.  When a child is born that needs a home, you will be the first person that someone thinks of.

Also, you can start doing volunteer work with birthmothers and underprivaleged teens.  You are likely to come across many people who are pregnant.  You can make a lasting impression on their lives and also open the doors to relationships that may lead to an adoption.

Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 3

Mom of many is wrong if you can find someone that is going to have a baby she can put your husbands name as the biological father on the birth certificate, then she gives up the baby to him, get a notorized paper from the biological mother and you, and your husband(the so called biological father), that she gives up all parental rights to the father and soon to be adopted mother. You then go to court where you live, with your husband and the judge will make you the babies (adopted mom) with a new birth certificate with yur name and husbands as the birth parents(remember it's only right to tell your child the truth about his adoption, he/she might have other siblings out there that they might want to meet when they are older, just remember if anything happens (like a divorce) he has more right to the baby then you do! Because he is named on the birth-certificate as the biological father.

Answer 4

Have you told your pastor that you are interested in adopting? He/she could keeps his/her eyes peeled for someone who is placing their child for adoption.

I personally am pregnant and am placing my child for adoption privately with someone I know. In this situation as a birthmother, I can say I would not choose your husband based solely on this either. (no offense)

Answer 5

no matter if its a private adoption or not, you must still go thru the same process for adoption. Some states if not all require homestudies and extremely thorough background checks. his conviction may not hinder an adoption, but, please, don't hide anything or they will turn you down if you lie.          prharley isn't talking about private adoption but an illegal adoption. called perjury. and the adoption laws do vary by state.

Answer 6

Was he found guilty, or was a plea bargain involved?  I am not sure what effect this specific crime will have.  Talk to your adoption attorney.  They may be able to facilitate the home study so that mitigating factors are not overlooked.

Answer 7

best of luck