Why MUST I put my kids in daycare etc?

Question

I'm getting tired of getting comments from people around me, that say I should put them in daycare for socialization etc. Same goes for not sticking them in the Boys and Girls Club.

I certainly didn't go to daycare when I was a kid & turned out fine-my daughter is at the top of her class in school so really who's business is it anyway?

Why is the pressure constantly to be having kids doing forty activities a day and going to daycare instead of letting kids just be kids at home?

Answer 1

Nobody says you MUST, its simple if you don't want to then don't. I don't see why you have to ask about it. If people advise me what to do with my kids and I don't want to, then I simply don't.

Answer 2

You don't have to.  Isn't it sad when people are convinced that strangers can do their job as parents better than they can?  Now, I'm not knocking anyone who chooses (or has no choice but to) put their children in daycare, after school programs, etc.  But really, it's not necessary.

My son has been home with me since he was born.  He is an extremely sociable boy who got plenty of playtime through Story Hour, play group, etc.  It wasn't necessary for me to send him off to strangers in order to get him socialized.  He's in part - time preschool now, and doing great - both socially and academically.  

Answer 3

I've never heard of putting a child in daycare if a parent stays home... are you talking about a preschool program when they're older?  I agree that when there about 2 1/2 to 3 it's nice to start, a few hours a week, but that also gives you a break....

If your daughter is already in school, then she's getting all the socialization she needs.  I guess I'm a bit confused with your question - how old is your daughter?

Answer 4

I hate that word 'socialization'.  So if my kid is 'socialized' that means he/she can curse with the best of them and find the right place to buy drugs?

I am a volunteer as a 4-H leader and do other volunteer work in my area.  And you know what?  I can pick out the 'socilaized' public school kids from the private school kids and home schooled kids.  

My daughter is homeschooled and I have people all the time complimenting her to me.  She deals fairly with others and willingly shares what she knows.  She was one of only a few teens that helped clean up a flooded area last year and no there were no public school kids in sight.  

She stands up straight and looks people in the eye when talking to them.

I would love to take total credit for how she turned out but the 4-H program gets credit too and I highly recomend it for all kids.

Answer 5

i agree that kids need to be kids and play at home.  i also understand that there needs to be balance...my son is 3 1/2 and he is going to preschool in september for 2 half days a week, i know he will love it.  as for having there schedule loaded up, i think that too much activity can overwhelm a child.  i enjoy spending time with my son, and the preschool thing was his idea.

Answer 6

they may also think it would be a favor to you so that you can get your hair and nails done (moms tend to neglect that kind of thing) or clean up (i can't keep my living room clean with my 10 month old son around). also my son is young, but i want him to get more socialized. i don't want to put him in daycare either, but i see how happy he is when he gets to play with kids his own age. but if you feel that you don't want daycare, just like in all other aspects of child rearing, its your choice and don't let anyone guilt (or attempt) to guilt you into raising your child in a way that you don't see fit.

*edit* kim, i hope you reported those issues to authorities and/or informed the parents. if someone EVER did those things to my child i would dunk their head in a toilet bowl.

Answer 7

I don't think you have to put your kids in daycare for socialization. I put my daughter in daycare because I have to work, but if I didn't I'd be home with her!! I think socialization is good for kids, but you can get that through get-togethers with friends for playdates, etc. I think parents today are just super-competitive (my kid's better because they do XYZ, blah blah blah) and that's why people are always commenting on things. Plus, they feel they need to justify how they are raising their kids b/c of the competitive nature and judgmental nature of other parents. It's a vicious cycle.

Answer 8

Socialization IS important for kids.  As long as they are getting socialization (time with kids their own age) there is no reason it has to be via daycare or any particular activitity.  

Part of the problem is simply that, when I was a kid (and maybe when you were a kid...) there were always other kids in the neighborhood to play with.  I had friends up and down the block and we played together.  Today, with a larger percentage of working moms, (and smaller families in general) it is less likely that there will be other kids available.  (There isn't a single other child my daughter's age on our block.)  So yes, some sort of activity is often helpful.  If the parents are working, that might be daycare.  If not, it might be preschool or swimming lessons at the Y, or any of a variety of other things. (But of course no child has to be in 40 activities a day!)  

If your child is in school, and has friends there, and friends in the neighborhood to play with,  that's great.  If she isn't interested in ballet or swimming or ceramics, don't feel you have to enroll her.  But if she WANTS to get involved in activities (and you can afford it), I hope you would not deny her.  

Answer 9

You don't have to!  I have 3 kids - none in daycare and they are totally fine - and social - at the park, etc.

People try to mold their kid so much these days.  Just let them be kids!  After 1 month in kindergarten, they will all be fine!

Answer 10

Because people think they know so much that they just HAVE to tell you what's best.  Tell them to kiss it.

Answer 11

at the end of the day, they are YOUR kids, so do whatever you want, and ignore all these people that tell you to put your kids into daycare.

Answer 12

dont dont dont send them!!! i work at one, some of the workers are just awful, i know a teacher who tripped a kid on purpose and wen a kid kept takin off his shoes she made him step in snow and woodchips barefooooooot! and soem teachers are jus plain mean after my experience as a worker, i would never send my kid have ur mother or father take care of em ya know? i mean i treat the kids best i can but some people seem like they came from off the streets and could care less

Answer 13

I didn't go to daycare and I grew up as a very shy kid.  Was that the reason, who knows? But I certainly broke out of my shell, but not until in my 20's.

Toddlers need the socialization.  So whether that is daycare or preschool or some weekly park district class, I think it's important.  And you over exaggerate when you say kids do 40 activities a day. I think it's good for a kid to have a fun activity to do outside of the home and school.  I mean your top the of the class daughter doesn't just study and do homework all day long, does she?  And sometimes an activity besides playing outside, going to the park, and swimming gives kids the ability to try new things and see what kind of activities they do like whether that is cheerleading, dance, drawing or karate.

Answer 14

Because people are misinformed and /or ignorant.  I get this all the time because I home school my children.  People automatically go off on the whole "they won't get any socialization" thing even though they are dead wrong.  They only say it because they've either heard someone else say it and it sounded good so they repeat it, or because they have no idea.

Don't worry about it.  Do what is best for your family and ignore what anyone else says unless you ask!