Why Should I Be Nice To People If They Are Not Nice To Me?

Question

hi, im 28 and experienced this all my life. At Uni, i help them with my assignments, yet when i ask for help, they tell me to get lost. I shout them drinks, help them pay their way, use nice manners, help them socially to meet new people, yet when i ask them to return the favour, they do nothing to help me. When i put my foot down and tell them this and not attempt to help them anymore, all of a sudden im the bad guy. Whats up with that?

Answer 1

la  gente   è strana, non bisogna aiutare  le persone  per avere un favore in cambio.

La regola del volontario è ti aiuto perchè voglio farlo, perchè tu hai bisogno

Se un domani tu che aiuti hai bisogno di aiuto  devi cercare un estraneo che ti aiuti.

Answer 2

if you enjoy helping people then keep doing it, But don't expect people to  say no to help, you're offering it, and don't even think about putting people in your debt, people don't like to be controlled...

You should either stop helping people, or only help when you're feeling selfless.

Edit:

How dare you give me a thumbs down!

My advise rules! i've been in the same situation, so i know better than whoever did that.

When someone becomes selfless(unselfish) people do them favors!

Answer 3

The first poster is right. You're being used. I have dealt with this all my life as well and let it continue for nearly 20 years. I get this treatment even from my own family. They want to spill all their needs on you and have you take care of everything yet when you're in a real bind, none of them are there for you. Don't bother with telling them you won't help them anymore because they WILL start to treat you like a bad guy (as you've already learned) and that's just a ploy to get you to say that you're sorry and you will help them. It's all about guilt and what they can get out of you. Just start telling them no from now on. Tell them you have other plans, you really don't have the time, you have somewhere else to be, anything to just say no. It's a lot of stress and pressure on you that you don't need. Find friends who actually share in the friendship. It may take a while and you may find that you have just a few but the wait is worth it and it truly is more important to have quality over quantity. Nobody wants a one-sided relationship.

Answer 4

You can not trust humans all that much.  Humans are the worst things on earth and the worst thing to happen on earth.  

Answer 5

What JERKS...are there no nice people left in the world?....Well hey, I will just say this........even though I have never met you, I love you. You sound like a very nice person and I hope you find friends who don't act like motherf***ers.......excuse my language....

Answer 6

Its called 'being the bigger person;, the one who sets the example for others, with the hope that others will respond positively and behave nicely to you. However, some people are selfish, heck, we all can be very cruel to each other. However, dont allow yourself to be used by others! Stop your kind deeds, then they will realise that theyve taken you for granted!

Answer 7

They're using you, it happens with me as well. I've started to ignore some of those people because I don't like being used!

Answer 8

theyre lame and using you

Answer 9

Well, there's a big difference between being sincerely nice, being a doormat,  trying too hard or being "nice" because you have an agenda. To me, it sounds like you've done quite a bit of the last two. Not because you're bad, but because you sound like you're not secure within yourself.

Slow down. Hang back a bit. Don't try to "buy or bribe" your way to making friends. Let the friendships come naturally.