Why WOULDN"T a woman put her husband in charge ?

Question

When my boyfriend and I get married, I’m definitely going to put him in charge . If we have a dispute or a disagreement, he’ll have the authority to make the final decision . I’m going to submit to him because I believe it's important to be humble, and because I can trust him to do the right thing for myself and my son . One reason why a woman should put her husband in charge is because it's important to be humble . Another reason is to show him she trusts him . If a woman doesn’t put her husband in charge, doesn’t that mean she doesn’t trust him ? If she trusts him, why WOULDN’T she put him in charge ?

Answer 1

Because marriage is a partnership between adults, not a babysitting agreement.

Women who think its important to be humble are usually suffering from a lack of self-esteem and end up in abusive relationships.

If that's what you want, go for it!

Answer 2

Good luck getting him to take responsiblity for anything other than the remote.  

Let's be real, it's all going to fall on you....trust me on this one.  

Answer 3

Just an alternate way of thinking: if your husband doesn't put YOU in charge, doesn't that mean he doesn't trust you?  Just saying...

I feel that a marriage is a partnership.  Why should one of you have the final authority in the marriage?  The two of you should love, respect, and trust one another equally, therefore make your decisions TOGETHER.  If the two of you have a disagreement over a decision, then a compromise can and should be made.  There is no reason for you to submit to him and allow him to make the final choice.  You are just as much a person as your husband is, and your views shouldn't count any less.  

Good luck!

Answer 4

Your philosophy on this assumes that men ALWAYS know better than women on every issue and that's just not realistic or truthful.  There are plenty of circumstances in life when a woman's own unique intelligence, skills, and talents are better for a situation over a man's.  While I agree it's a great thing to be humble, you're forgetting that a man should also be humble towards his wife yet you make no mention of that.  Your scenario of putting the man in charge also assumes that men are perfect & will ALWAYS make good decisions but that's not true.  Men aren't perfect....they are just as human as you and just as susceptible to making bad decisions.  That's why, in a healthy marriage, there is a balance between the 2.  It's important for each person to recognize each other's strengths as well as weaknesses then go forward in life hand in hand....not with the woman walking submissively behind.  Think of it this way:  If you had a really, really tough problem, would you want just one person thinking about a solution or two?  You'd want two!  In the same way, marriage works best when both people have respect for one another and make decisions together.  Your philosophy assumes that you as the woman are somehow weaker, less intelligent and therefore, it's not necessary to consult you on decisions but that's an attitude that shows very little self-worth.  You may enter into marriage thinking "this will last forever" but the divorce rate proves you wrong.  I doubt those many couples who are now divorced actually entered their marriage thinking "well, we'll probably get divorced."  No....they entered into it being in love & having the same intentions as you have now....to love that person forever....but life happens...things happen...and you look up & realize perhaps you don't know that person as well as you thought you did.  So, it's very foolish to let the husband control everything & make every decision for you.  There MAY come a time when you will have to fend for yourself, work, pay bills, make decisions for you & your child....it would be a huge diservice to your son for you blindly obey your new husband.  In this day & age, it's not just a luxury...it's a necessity for a woman to know how to take care of herself.  Divorce isn't the only thing....your husband could be killed in an auto accident and then what would you do?  It's just not wise to make yourself that vulnerable.  It has NOTHING to do with trust!  Trust doesn't mean blindly following someone.  

Answer 5

no comment cause im baffled

thanks for the points

Answer 6

if I put my hubby in charge,we may have lost our house by now.

Answer 7

Wow! Because I am smarter than you...thats why!

Answer 8

How nice of him to take care of a child who is not his. Did you learn this lesson about submission before or after your divorce/child out of wedlock?

Answer 9

Yeah, right.  You're a woman and you posted this ridiculous question?  Mostly every single woman wants to be in charge because 9 times out of 10 the husband does a sh*tty job at whatever the task may be....cleaning, paying bills, child rearing, etc.  You must be joking....the MAN in charge??....hahahahahaha.  

Answer 10

Either your just really foolish or really young.  Which one is it?

Answer 11

marriage is not about putting someone in charge, it is about equality.

everything should be 50/50

Answer 12

Honestly, I appreciate what you are saying - but I think a partnership is better than a submissive relationship.  Use both of your strengths and acknowledge when the other person has a good idea or suggestion.

There are things I'm good at, and my wife lets me take care of it, there are things she's good at and I let her take care of it.  There are things we both discuss to come up with the best solution for.  I think it works out well that way.

Answer 13

In certain areas I am inept, others my wife has little interest in. We are both familiar with running major millions projects. Prior to marriage we split most things, so that one of us is lead on that issue. A few issues we have joint stakes in - raising kids, moving.  

Answer 14

Why would a woman think she has to put her husband in charge?  Shouldn't that have already been established without her literally giving permission?  Sounds like you are the one in control and you are being real noble about allowing him to have some control.  You don't have a clue.  A man should be the head of the home without having to get his wife's permission.

Answer 15

Because the marriage is not all about you or all about him.

Without one another, you don't even have a marriage.

Do whatever works for you all, but I think you're really selling yourself short.

Answer 16

Because he may not always be around. You should learn to be self sufficient. You have a son, you need to show him how to take care of himself. And show him women are partners to men, not submissive burdens.

Answer 17

In a marriage it is fifty,  fifty. Somethings you'll be incharge of and other times he will it all depends on what is going on at the time. And there will be times , he will take over and you won't like it. so be prepared. It isn't all black and white in a marriage.

Answer 18

20 years ago I woulda loved that mentality..now I think its sad..bein marriage is a team and one person cant carry a team..if you take this approach he will not respect you..eventually resent you..

Answer 19

The 1940's called and they would like their mentality back.

Geeeezzzzzz!!

My husband and I are equals, that's the way it should be:)