I have committed some sins on-and-of at a very young age which I shouldn't have and whenever I committed the sin 4-5 minutes later I would realize that I am doing something really wrong so i would be boiling up in my head bang my head against the wall make blood come out my hands sometimes and then try my best to stay away from it but Shaytan is bringing me back to that sin. It's like he is the one controlling my life even though I should be the one taking over him and not letting him to convince me to make that sin over and over again. I have felt like not living anymore but then I would always remember that we cannot let shaytan bring us down. But then again I would commit that sin. Mashallah, for a while like almost a year everything was fine but then it started again. Is this because I'm very close to becoming Hafiz of Allah? I only had 8-7 paras/chapters left. I need everyone help especially the help of the ones older than me who have been through this before. I just committed that sin [astakhfiruallah], I realized later on and now I am taking action. This has got to stop. I have got to take over Shaytan. I almost broke down right now, my body is so warm. Please, help me.
Jazakallah.
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