Okay. I've known her since my freshmen year of college. We were the same major, both became Editors of our school newspaper and both pledged the same sorority. She was more popular on the academic side (Sum *** Lade s/p. she was featured in magazines for being the 'Queen' and a legacy attendant of our school) But I was more popular social scene wise, though I still had noteworthy academic accolades. Well since graduating 3 years ago---she began emailing me, calling me and basically acting like we were bestfriends. (Tho, we were never close in college) and I began to view her a closer friend. We've fallen out a couple times and are now back on good terms, but everytime I look up---she is traveling to Awards shows, getting articles published in mainstream magazines, and just every opportunity she goes after seems to materialize. Me on the other hand---I've been struggling paycheck to paycheck just trying to stay afloat. I do travel some places, but it's like everything she does---she makes it seem so liberating and so easy. And she keeps everything a SECRET until it's complete. But yet, she's always keeping tabs on me. For example, she'll know months in advance that she's going to a high-profile event or that she is going to be in a magazine---but she won't tell me until it's complete...and I know she gets a KICK out of people seeing her do BIG things because it validates her personailty in trying to outdo and outshine everyone. So why am I getting so envious? I feel stagnated and want to have my own personal success, yet I feel like I'm secretly competing with her...
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