Why am I jealous of my husband?!?

Question

My hubby works an hour away during the week and stays in a hotel room (usually paid for by work, but sometimes out of our pocket) He works for the government so you know how things change constantly with that. But anyway, It just seems like during the week and occasional weekends when hes down there its like a vacation for him. I talk to him about 3 minutes at a time and its usually "oh hey babe, busy today...gotta go, love you" and thats it. Anyway, the jealousy kicks in when he goes off after work w/ buddies to the bar, fishing, golfing, shooting, or whatever he wants to do. Meanwhile I am working my full time job and then have to go home and sort the mail, clean the house, make dinner, to the laundry run errands all the time hes out enjoying himself, not even making the bed or picking up his clothes. Then he comes home on the weekends with piles of laundry that I end up spending a whole saturday doing. And he gets mad when I make comments like "that must be nice" and so on, which I try to hold back but seriously, I'd like to have that kind of freedom. But I have responsibilities, which are his as well, that are being all pushed off on me, but then I realize how unhappy he'd be sitting in a hotel room all night. Maybe I need to be put in my place, but Im jealous. I want to do things like that too. But if I did, nothing would get done. HELP!

Answer 1

First of all, don't feel sorry for him. Becuase he's laying back, watching TV on a hotel!!! He should help you aout with the house chores!

Answer 2

put out a few bucks and hire a maid to come in a couple x a week.  and i know that they have services out there that will do your grocery shopping and pick up laundry and stuff like that.  then that gives you time to do things that you like.

Answer 3

have you talked to a divorce lawyer

Answer 4

You have every right to be mad at yourself that is for taking this c**p from him. You are a single person with his last name. Either find many hobbies and do what he does. OR Tell him to make time with you or else. btw Don't bring children into this c**p they will only suffer with you AND THAT'S NOT FAR TO THOSE KIDS!

Answer 5

I think you should let things go a little and have some fun when you husband is not in town.  I think you are way over reacting.  He probably spends more time working then when he is at home and does not play nearly as much as you think.  But besides that it is ok to skip some choirs and have some fun.  The only person stopping you is you.  Take responsibility for your own happiness and have some fun when you husband is out of town.  Have even more fun when he comes back :)

Good Luck

Answer 6

If you can, take a week off work and surprise him in the hotel.  You need a vacation, and while there I am sure at night he will tell you stories of how he misses you.  I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. My husband is in the navy and he gets to travel to all these amazing cities all over the world while I am at home having to deal with all the responsibilities that involves. He now comes home and doesn't even tell me about the places he's seen because I would usually say that it sounds like a vacation.

The only advice I would have for you is to save some money and plan a trip with your friends. So next time he comes home, make him deal with everything so he can have a taste of what your life is like. Men don't seem to get it. My husband acted like he had no responsibilities... and when he got home it was like he's on vacation again untill I left him for 2 weeks to go on vacation. I made sure that there were quite a few things at home that needed immediate attention for him to take care of.

However, this is not gonna get rid of you feeling jealous. If it's his job I guess you are just gonna have to get used to it, but that doesn't mean that he has to take you for granted and you should tell him that!

Answer 8

You can't go with him to the hotels on the weekends? If it's government paid for, you would think they would allow for a spouse to come also. I could be wrong.

Go out and have your fun with your friends, on the days that he's home or not away, and he will quickly realize what it's like for you, and how much stuff you do around the house.

Answer 9

I don't have a solution for you, but I will admit, this would make me crazy too.....seems like a pretty cushy situation he has there....its almost like he is away at college all week...then comes home to get his laundry done....no real responsibilities...just his job, while you too work full time and carry the entire load at home.

Doesn't exactly seem right to me.

Answer 10

some times you just gotta let the sht roll. Dont do anything for a while, go out to bars, lunches with friends and above all let his *** do the laundry. You put the weight of the world on your back because you want to and men will gladly let you take the load. I know you feel like you really have to, but in all reality, no ones gonna die if you dont clean the d**n house or wash his laundry. Hes a big boy, let that be his task. If hes big enough to spend the week at a hotel then hes big enough to know how to do his laundry.  

Answer 11

If you're resentful and think you're doing too much in the relationship, that sounds like something that should be communicated to him. Otherwise, it's likely that your resentment will just keep building. If nothing else, since you're both working full time, take turns doing the laundry.

And that bit about being "put in your place" just makes me ill, sorry. "Your place" is wherever you decide it is, not him or us.

Answer 12

Well, the reason why you are jealous is because you do not see what he is doing, therefore your mind has plenty of room to imagine. You might want ot discuss this with him and see if there is something that you might be able to plan for the both of you to do on the weekend. I would be extremely frustrated also if I would only see my husband on the weekend and had 3 minutes a phone call. Either way, it might not be all fun and games with him either.  

Answer 13

tell your husband you've solved all your woes:  hire a maid service!

Answer 14

Why do you have to do all of that stuff? Is it because you want too? who is making you do them? aren't you grown? go out and have some fun. When he comes home with a pile of clothes tell him you are going out. And you don't have time to do his laundry, you will do it when you get ready. Stop whining, that is stuff that you choose to do. And things will get done, just do them after you have done the fun things you want to do.  

Answer 15

I don't understand why he's staying at a hotel with only an hour commute.  I'd want my husband to come home every time and he'd want to come home.  Though I guess if the option was to stay at a free hotel and go out with friends every night or come home and do laundry, he might choose the hotel...  Maybe you guys could find a hobby to do together during the week and on weekends.

Answer 16

He should be doing his own laundry when he comes home on the weekends. He gets to relax during the week in his hotel. You get to relax on the weekends. Fair deal.

Answer 17

No where in this did you mention kids.  If you have no kids you can make time like that...time management.  I use to be in the same situation.  I had certain nights for "chores" and certain night for going out w/ friends.  We have no kids.  Usually Tuesday and Thursday were going out nights.  Good luck!

Answer 18

doesnt sound like you have a marriage you just have a peice of paper. bummer.   if money isnt an issue then id wanna move on

Answer 19

You ever think about changing  your profession there is a few jobs in Nevada for lady's like yourself fly out there for a week then home for a week all accommodations paid for the pay is high you get a lot of free drinks to.