Why am I nervous about a house?

Question

I'm getting married soon and I'm having a baby. My fiancee' told me today that he bought a house for us. He has a lot of money and I'm nervous that the house is going to be too big. I know people may say that I shouldn't be nervous about an extremely big house but I am. I'm packing up my stuff in my apartment now. And he said he's going to come by my apartment with a U-Haul. I'm so nervous. No negative remarks please.

Answer 1

well, i would be nervous too, if my fiance just went out and bought a house without consulting me (not negative, just re-stating what you said)

ask if you can talk about it before things are final!!! express your concerns...are you gonna have to go back to work to help afford this house?? will he be okay with you not working...will it be ok to hire a housekeeper (it's a lot of work cleaning a big house) just let him know you'll feel better about the situation if you are involved!!!

bigger houses come with bigger electricity/water bills and higher taxes!!! if you both have the money to cover those things, then  you should be fine

Answer 2

If the situation feels unusual to you, you should go with your gut feeling.

Answer 3

i am married to someone and renting i had my child at 27 weeks just because my husband didn't pay any attention to me and the fact that i wanted a house and our baby didn't have a bed to sleep in and your telling me you are worried ?your crazy! I wish i was in your position and now we are stuffy and crowded and still renting after two years! Since he has a lot of money you will make the space as you feel comfortable and things take their time if you cant decorate get a pro.

Answer 4

This is a big change for you. I dont blame you for being nervous. Is it really the house that u are nervous about? Or is it that everything is all at once changing and your sort of losing control of it? A baby a wedding and a new house is alot of adjusting. Maybe you arer worried about house payments and all the responsibilities (ie; bills, maintainance) that come with it. Dont worry too much, you will adjust to ur new home and life. Im sure once you get settled you will appreciate all the space that you have especially when you have a little one running around. And think too that now you can have family functions at ur new place ad will have somewhere to put everyone :)

Answer 5

Well getting married and starting a new life is always a new experience, maybe even kind of exciting. Maybe you're nervous about having your baby in a large home or sharing a large house with your fiancee'. Living in an apartment for awhile can cause issues like that so it's alright to be afraid.

do you know where the money is coming from? That could be another concern.

Answer 6

It's not the size of the house that you are nervous about......it's getting married and moving in with someone. Right now you are giving up your space and you will be sharing it with 2 other people. Take a deep breath and relax. It looks like everything is falling into place so just let it!

Answer 7

It may feel strange at first, but before you know it the whole place will be full of clutter and you will be wishing for more space!!

In the meantime, try to suround yourself with familiar things until you get used to your new place - play your favourite music, place your favourite ornaments where you will see them etc.  It will take a while, but it will feel like home soon - and just remember, it's the people in the house that make a home, not the building itself.  

Answer 8

" He" bought a house with " His" money.

" He" is renting a U-Haul & " He" is stopping for you

Sounds like ' He " decided on one thng, then "He" decided on the next thing..and then "He " decided on the next as well. It just don't seem like you have contributed at all toward the decisions of which house to buy, if any at this point...maybe you would have preferred to wait a little. You surely did not contribute financially toward this purchase or even the decision of when you move in and when you pack-it-up.

You are thinking of " Controlling" as those full-blown drama scenes from on TV. But my dear you are in a controlling situation and just don't realize it yet. Those full-blown situations on TV or anywhere don't come like that ...like all things it is worked upon you in very subtle ways. Each day it is the little things you give up that eventually lead to the abuse, the violence, the isolation ...the full-blown controll.

Today he is making decisions that you should have been part of, if you let it ride then it won't be long until you have given up all rights to have any input in any decision in the home.

You ( and he) may think " its no big deal" and if it really wasn't a big deal then why not make these decisions together from the start and eliminate this situation altogether. It was important to him, I thnk, to be the man...the bread winner...the decision maker ...the final word...etc.

Your opinions did not matter to him..that is why he did not request to hear them....

" Subserviant " is the operative word here...

You should stay in contact with your old friends & family - They are very smart people and go with what they think. Often they will see a situation long before you realize there is a situation....Oh, and if " He " preferrs you don't associate with those people any more..then you'll know why he bought the house ( to isolate you away from family & friends).

Answer 9

I think the part you are nervous about it not the house, but that your man bought you a house without telling you about it first!  That is a HUGE red flag of a controlling man!  You might want to see if he is always making decisions without consulting you first and then just expecting you to go along with it!

If the house is too big, it sounds like he can afford someone to clean it, and I would tell him that!!  

Answer 10

This sounds great - you should be happy.

You have a man that loves you and can take care of you, you're having a baby, and moving into a house that you can make a home.

Life is good..............

Answer 11

I run into this situation sometimes - maybe not always with a house, but other purchases.

The best thing that works for me is to make a pro / con list

stating all of the benefits and negative things you would get from a large house.

Once the list is made, it's usually easier for you to tell which way to go.

Answer 12

Buying your first house is a big step with new responsibilities and expenses.  If it turns out to be a big house and you find it too much with a newborn, then you can consider hiring a housekeeper to do the housework while you spend more time with your baby, your fiancee and getting the much needed rest that you will need.  Just remember, what you don't get done right away can wait...including the housework and decorating.  It'll still be there the next morning, so don't sweat it.  Take it easy and enjoy it all.  Sounds like you are a lucky girl!!