Why am I so angry and how do I get rid of it?

Question

I have a problem and i don't know how to get rid of it. I don't know how to deal with being hurt. I don't let too many people get close to me and now I got married and I get so angry when my husband does something I BLOW up! I want to change, I never feel like people love me and he says he does. He's never cheated or anything of that sort but I feel dead on the inside and he says I cant deal with stress, we have a 9wk old baby, his family just came in from outta town and that was a disaster they were rude and mean and I have two toddlers two and three. I am a stay at home mom and I don't know whats wrong or how to get over it.Now I am shutting down and dont want to be bothered. I feel dead on the inside, when major things happen I dont know how to act.Any suggestions? My husband and I have only been married for 9 months.

Answer 1

How do you feel dead when you just gave birth okay maybe it's easy to hold on to the pass than to move on to the future nobody said forget but to forgive is more important that way you have more room to grow!!!!

Answer 2

It sounds like you are faced with postpartum depression. I would make a phone call to your OB or GP and see if they can't point you in the right direction. You may want to see a counselor! This kind of behavior can be common after having a baby.. Even if you didn't experience it with your other two children. Good Luck and feel better!

Answer 3

Just to be cool and calm have a glass of water and sit down comfortably.Tell him" that if you go on like this i can not just tolerate and i have no patience at all to be inside the house and as we only spent 9 months and i don't mind taking a divorce from you.Why you are blowing up over  me.Giving you a last warning.We have a 9 week old baby.Decide within a week and tell me.I can manage myself and you can leave me from this place."

Answer 4

This is going to sound like jibberish but the counting down technique works. I had a huge temper and I have learned to take myself out of the situation until I calm down and most of the time I come back with no anger in me.

Answer 5

Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. You seriously will not be able to live happily with an attitude like this. You may need some therapy...

Answer 6

I am so overwhelmed with joy that I have someone so capable to deal with my issues. Really happy and grateful.  

Answer 7

Youve been married for 9 months and your already have 3 kids? Im thinking that your kids are putting alot of stress on your life

Answer 8

Dear Angry,  You are not really angry.   I suspect that you are actually depressed and fearful - with a good sized dose of stress thrown in for good measure.

Please contact your local health department and hopefully they will be able to direct you to both some medical and psychological services.

You are putting yourself, your children, and your marriage in danger.

Don't hesitate to emphatically state that you need help and you need it NOW.

I wish the best for you.

Answer 9

maybe you should talk to your husband and tell him everything that you wrote above, if hes nice and loves you h**l understand

Answer 10

i do the same thing. You have to talk about things right away and don't let anything bottle up inside. But do it in a nice way.

Answer 11

I would seek professional help. Although this may seem 'goofy' or scary, it  can help you deal with your problems in ways you'd never thought possible, thus increasing your happiness.  

Answer 12

The problem is that you have never learned to love who you are and accept that, stand up for what you believe and not being a pleaser because you don't want to upset anyone. Look at your situation. A healthy person would have a tough time with that, not to mention someone who obviously could use a pick me up. Three kids at home, one a baby, that's hard. Learn to forgive and not hold grudges. It doesn't hurt anyone but you. Enjoy the little things in your life and see your blessings. Hug your children. Find time alone if you feel like you want to blow up.  

Answer 13

well first of all, your hormones and everything are in transition from the pregnancy, could be some postpartum depression or related to the changes your hormones are putting you through.

as a stay at home mom, you are subject to lots of stresses, and most people don't understand, but keep in mind, this is a transitional period, the baby will get older, and so will your other kids.  as they get older, sleep through the night, potty trained, off to school, things get lots better.  but cut yourself some slack.  you've got 2 little kids and a newborn, it's alot of work, alot of stress and worry.

most anger is born of hurt.  sometimes you have to let it go in one ear and out the other when people say or do things that are hurtful or just plain mean.

classic stressfest is when the in laws visit.  you have to expect monumental stress during their visits, and try some coping mechanisms, like finding a way to get outside into some fresh air because you "forgot" something essential that you need from the grocery store.  get away for a little while until you cool down, so you wont say or do things that you will eventually regret.

remember, once harsh words are said, you cannot take them back.  so it's best to just hold your tongue.  wait it out and force yourself to keep your mouth shut.  find a good girlfriend that can listen to your complaints and vent with her instead of ranting and raving to your family members or husband.  

take the high road, and if they are nasty do not respond in kind.  they will only make themselves look bad.  and try to find some activity (i know this is hard with little ones) but something you enjoy, if it's reading or dvds from netflix, or scrapbooking or cooking, and try to focus some of your energy on that, a hobby, something that you enjoy.  by having a creative or fun activity that takes your mind off the stress, you will feel more calm and fulfilled.  go to www.flylady.com for some cool inspirations.