Why am I unhappy with everything but unable to change?

Question

Why am I unhappy but unable to change?

This is my first time asking a question, so bear with me. I'm wondering if others have had the experience I am having now.

I am flat out unsatisfied, unhappy, and disinterested with every aspect of my life. Even the little treats that used to cheer me up are empty. I feel like I am searching for something yet have no idea what I need.

But all the while, I am absolutely unwilling and afraid to change. Moving to a new house is financially possible and something that has been on the to-do list for a long time, but I cannot commit to making it happen.

Changing jobs could be a good thing, but I am terrified of looking into the job market after eight years with a company.

I can't get interested in hobbies and I avoid social situations out of preference.

So all the while I know I am unhappy about everything, I cannot be motivated to make a change.

I'm taking some meds now for depression, but there hasn't been a combination that has worked well thus far.

Has anyone any experiences they can share to help shed light on what I am experiencing?

-d

Answer 1

it sounds to me as though you are suffering from depression.

Maybe you just haven't found the right medication yet or maybe the mediction isn't enough on its own.

From your question it sounds as though you suffer from anxiety.  The being afraid to look for a new job and avoiding social situations sounds like anxiety.

I would STRONGLY suggest getting some coumseling, eith group or individual.  They will be able to help you figure out WHY you are not motivated to change and help you work through it.

I had both depression and anxiety and I found that a group therapy teaching DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) worked wonders for me.  TO the point where I am now dating, have hobbies and enjoy being around people.

As someone who has lived both ways, I MUCH prefer the way I am now to when I was afraid to go anywhere.

Answer 2

I know how you feel. I along with a lot of my patients have suffered from similar circumstances. I think it has a lot to do with how you view yourself. Our appearance contributes to our "mood"-so if you are viewing yourself or relationship differently than you did before, this could be the problem. I found my solution was to motivate myself by going to the gym and eating a healthier diet. Now I feel like I am on my tip-top game and am ready to take on all the challenges of life. Sometimes you just need that kick in your bum to get you moving... Start looking at homes if that's a goal of yours and push yourself to make the right decision in that category. Same goes with the job, if your not happy with your current position... A new one isn't go to find you, go out and look for it. It takes that inner drive to fix these sort of problems-trust me, my methods have worked for many.

I hope you look at the advice and put it to good use. Medication can't fix it all. Sometimes we (especially being women) have to suck it up and push ourselves to do things. That's the only real answer. Good luck :-)

Answer 3

I find myself in the same place as you. I also am on medication but mine is for anxiety. I guess that you can't do what you want to for exactly what you said the fear of change. People tend to do the same thing over and over everyday because they are afraid of doing something new.

Hang in there though it'll be alright. I can also relate to the looking for jobs. Today's economy is terrible so if you can stick it out then stay with your job cause looking for another one can be a pain. Trust me I'm there. And I'll be 32 in less than a week.

Your house will come when you are ready for it to. Don't try to rush it at all. Always smile when you get up and say Today will be just as good as yesterday. Get out of bed on a positive note and hopefully that will make your day a little better.

Hope that helped some

Take care

Answer 4

i had that in a way , in that i was depressed and yet i didnt do anything about it , i chose to wallow in it and let it consume me ...interesting experience  

Answer 5

I'm going through this right now.  I have no will or drive for life.  I stopped cleaning and doing my college work, I feel extra lazy and more fatigued then usual.  I just want to sleep all day and my s*x drive is non- existant.  I don't know what is wrong with me because if i'm depressed then why? My life is good everything is grand so why am I feeling like this? We are both going thorough the same thing... The only light I can shed is that we have to dig somewhere deep down and get this life moving along.... I just need a little push and I'm sure that is all you need as well.  

Answer 6

See a therapist