Why am i always jealous of things i shouldnt be? kinda long sorry.?

Question

like every time someone like my friends get/buy/do something good i always feel like i have to go out and either get/do the exact same thing or better so i look better than them. for instance if they get like theyre ear double pierced and buy a coach purse i have to get my bellybutton pierced and but a chanel purse. even if its something i couldnt care less about i still feel jealous. people tell me i sometimes buy stuff to feel better which i can admit i sort of do but it honestly never makes me feel better at all. so y do i still do it? and whats wrong with me? i honestly think i have an excuse because all my friends family live in different states because i moved and my parents let my brothers visit friends/family back home but not me because me and my friends kinda got in trouble last time i did which i know is wrong but they need to accept its a part of being a teen and that they cant keep me away from people i love forever and i feel so horrible about myself and idk what to do. i know this is sort of 2 separate questions but please help!!! thanks for reading all this.

Answer 1

That is a long and confusing question.  I think it sounds to me like you are insecure.  You are looking for pleasure from buying things and from approval from your friends.  

Be a strong person in yourself, find your own interests or even a way you can help other people.  Maybe do some volunteering.  If you show responsibility in your actions and in your spending habits your parents will probably trust you more.

Hope this helps!  

Answer 2

Why dont you celebrate that your friend has been able to get these things, rather than buy them yourself, cause they are not going to make you feel happy.  You cant follow people for the rest of your life.

I think that you are extremely lucky to be abl eto visit your friends who live in different states and that your parents were really kind to let you do so, only to find that you were getting into trouble with them.  I think that its time that you started making friends in the state where you are living and even in your neighbourhood, it doesnt mean that you have forgotten your old friends, just that you will then have many people whom you can talk with.

Answer 3

Jealousy is a reactionary emotion so by its very nature it has a reason. Jealousy is a very natural and normal emotional response to a perceived threat. Getting jealous is not necessarily bad. Problems arise when your jealousy gets unmanageable and your behaviors get out of control.

This is a type of jealousy brought on by imagined or misperceived events. Irrational jealousy is never healthy. It is based on paranoia and insecurity not in reality. People suffering from an irrational jealousy rely heavily on their feelings that something is wrong even though there are no real signs that these feelings have merit.

Without reliable external validation of their jealousy irrationally jealous individuals often sink in to a depression based on paranoia. They are convinced that they are right to be jealous even when the evidence does not support their beliefs. It is very difficult to show them the truth.

As a teen, you now have more responsibility to choose between right and wrong. Your parents are no longer constantly by your side. Positive self-esteem gives you the courage to be your own person, believe in your own values, and make a the right decision when the pressure is on.

Your friends can put a lot of pressure on you. You want to be part of a group or crowd. The crowd may be the "cool" crowd, the "jock" crowd, the "computer" crowd, or the "brainy" crowd. Belonging to a crowd is a part of growing up; it helps you learn to be a friend and learn about the world around you.

It's okay to want to be liked by others -- but not when it means giving in to pressure. Your friends are now making many of their own decisions. And their decisions may or may not be good for you.

It's never worth doing things that could hurt you or someone else. For instance, drinking alcohol or using other drugs, having s*x before you are ready, joining a gang or quitting school can all lead to trouble.

Be honest with yourself. Figure out your strengths and weaknesses. Don't beat yourself up over your weaknesses. Don't compare yourself to others. It's hard at times, but accept yourself.

Only you know what is best for you. If you let your friends think for you, you'll never get where you want to go. When you value and respect yourself, it helps you avoid making a bad decision, which may affect the rest of your life.

Regardless of the reason, many teens approach their friendships with an inability to trust others' loyalty and commitment and fear their friend will replace them with others who are more interesting, .

Jealousy is kind of a behavior, motivation and cognitive mix, some adolescents end up worrying so much about their relationships, they don't get to enjoy them because they are always protecting them...and become preoccupied with whether they will last.

Don't put others down. Be patient with your friends and family when they fall short. We all make mistakes from time to time.

Being human is an emotional experience -- we all have our moments of happiness, sadness, anger, depression, anxiety,jealousy

and a host of others feelings.

Answer 4

I would think the first question is why do you feel less than other people and why do you not feel good about who YOU are? That would be the very first thing I'd explore. Then I would write a list of goals for myself, whether material or learning or job or whatever and then stick to the plan and be aware of what goals you accomplish.

Getting in trouble is not necessarily part of being a teenager. If you continue to act immature why should your parents trust you in another state. They are legally responsible for you.  Make new friends, get new interests and stop acting like a spoiled teenager and give your parents a new reason to trust you and admire you.