Why am i depressed? can someone give me encouragement ? anyone please?

Question

So I am just really feeling crappy now. I think I am depressed, I just feel terrible, emotionally almost 24/7! I feel like i am going to die of depression. I am like never happy. I dont really enjoy anything and have low self esteem. i just graduated high school in june.

Heres the reasons why:

-had a bad school life, with peers my age being mean to me, i think because im shy or maybe just bad schools or bad s****. peers, only good year was 6th grade. I had many friends turn on me, where they used to be nice and then they suddenly hated me. didnt go to prom or have friends almost my whole school life and nothing but bad memories.

-im shy so i have low self esteem

-have no dad, so i feel really empty

-i cannot afford to go to community college this year because i dont have a car, i tried contacting churches but no one has helped or responded, my mom cant afford it, she is a single mom who gets no child support, she was laid off my entire senior year so i couldnnt use my money to save up i had to give almost all of it for rent'bills'food/gas and such.

- i have a bad habit of getting crushes on older guys (30 at the oldest) who are in authority and they always end up being jerks who play favorites and who are rude to me, i have never had a boyfriend.

-i have a hard time making friends because im withdrawn due to so many bad experiences with peers in my school life, i find it hard to trust people, im sick of being hurt

-im friendly but have a hard time making friends

-my mom doesnt understand my depression,and almost gets mad at me and says "you could be handicapped" or "look what happened to me" she doesnt understand that i wish i could die everyday and she just makes me feel crappier

-my mom isnt that happy she works long hours and many times pushes me away and gets snappy with me

-i have horrible insomnia and many times crie myself to sleep and sleep in too long waking up with arms and neck in pain and feeling too tired and want to sleep more

-i hate my job, most managers are cocky 25 year olds who play favorites and evyerthing is cliquey, theyre rude to me, many customers are rude to me

-lack of male friends or good male role model

-lack of friends in general

-lack of fitting in my suburban area filled with rich s****. prep girls and wigger guys , immature

im a christian and im in counseling but things just keep going from bad to worse and its hard for me to be happy

someone help i feel like i am in h**l

Answer 1

it should really begin with yourself. you must start loving yourself, everything will follow. how can you be appreciated if you don't appreciate you own self. be open to other people and it will be returned.

Answer 2

Get your a** out of counseling, it can make you feel worse. HERE'S YOUR MOTIVATION. Life seems like a blackhole right now right? You are in h**l yes..... Do not look at the present, look towards you = the future, things will be better in time, the pain will fade, and your problems will be dealt with. That is the power you have. You don't need antidepressants, counseling or therapy. You know YOU the best, you can fix yourself, no matter how much you think you can't. If you hate your job find a new one, if you absolutely can't, than talk to the people who are pissing you off directly, and let them know what's on your mind (in a polite manner) if they don't catch your drift, let them know about it constantly. If you have no friends make some, throw yourself into socializing, confidence and a smile is a hard thing to turn down (keep that in mind) If you have insomnia take some sleeping pills, try to get on a solid sleep schedule, and stick with it. Have a talk with your mother, and tell her exactly whats on your mind (people respect brutal honesty whether they admit or not)  If you have never had a boyfriend, the best thing you can do is try. Try going to places where guy's or people in general would gather, and be your friendly self. Its impossible to be turned down every time. I'm shy myself (very shy) to combat that, if someone I know, or a person who isn't a friend asks me to go somewhere with them to the movies, a party, wherever, I don't try to think up excused as to why I can't go. I just go, you feel a lot better about yourself, when you say "yes" to something. Since you are Christian, I would assume that you pray to God. So whatever God is to you, try to find power in and through that. You can't go to college because you don't have a car? or because you don't have the money? If you don't have them money thats normal, most people who go to college or university get loans from the bank, which they pay back after they are finished school. Basically all I can say is that you have the power. If people are mean or rude ***** them, go about your business, and leave them be to their old stuck up selves. Whenever a bad thought comes into your mind, replace it with a good one immediately. If you feel like crying yourself to sleep, do so. There is no shame in crying, but if you don't want to, then think about something that makes you laugh or smile. There is better for you out there, and it is very achievable. You just have to believe in yourself.  

Answer 3

Okay well first of all you die 'with' depression, not 'of' it

I've had depression on and off for abput 6-7 years and I've kinda had to accept that it's always going to be there, I can't let it get the better of me.

I had a bad school life too, I hardly had any friends, I went to boarding school which made it worse because I really missed my family

Do you need a car to go to college?  Is there a way you could maybe get public transport?  Perhaps when you go there ask around and see if you can car pool with people (offer to help pay for petrol) that would be a good way to meet people too.

True, it is nice to have a boyfriend, but to tell the truth it is actaully nice not to have one too and spend time by yourself.  my depression ultimately ended a couple of relationships I've been in, so over the past 6 months I've just been having a whole lot of 'me' time and not even thinking about a boyfriend and lately i've been getting a lot of offers haha!!

It sounds like you do need to let go of the past, you won't ever forget it but you seem to still be attached and living in it, this is a very hard thing to do, but it does not actaully take long to change habits.  DO things that YOU really like doing.  You need to trust yourself before you can trust anyone else

Many people have a hard time making friends, it takes work to make a friendship and also to maintain it so you're not in the minority there trust me!

Your mum does care but she would get mad becuase she is obviously confused and frustrated - my mum used to feel sick and have trouble sleeping when I was depressed and my boyfrined at the time would ignore it and sometimes get annoyed at me - everyone deals with it differently, but a lot of people don't know how to deal with it so it comes out the wrong way

What helped me feel better was being on medication, I went on it for a year and then off for two years, then i had a relapse and I had to go on it again, it's not bad being on medication, it's a sickness just like anything else, a lack of ceritonin (not sure of spelling) which is corrected with medication

Hope I helped :)

Answer 4

you must just have  will power things don't just happen overnight u have to work towards your goals get a part time job and go out to malls you must stop telling yourself that u have a low self esteem because u are creating it just be strong and keep on praying

Answer 5

If you are already in counseling, and you are still feeling this way, maybe you should ask or find another counselor.  There is so much that life has to offer.  You need to get out and find a job, any job and get active.  This would help with your depression.  You would be able to save money and you would find a way to go to college.

Many others, including me, have gone on to college with minimal resources.  You may find there is transportation, loans and grants to help you.  You sure would qualify with what you have written here.

I was not popular in high school, and I didn't even think I was that smart, and I too had some low periods emotionally, but I also had dreams.

I went to college, and it wasn't easy, but you have to keep telling yourself that you can do this.  I worked full-time and started part-time in school.  I also had two kids to support before I started college, and today I have a Masters degree.  

It was hard with kids, so my advice would first be to get a job, forget about boyfriends for now, and your self esteem will grow when you are involved in doing something positive for yourself.

You need motivation, and I would continue with counseling, and as I stated before, maybe you need a counselor who will push and motivate you.  You have a lot of things going for you, so reach outside of yourself and start now.

You can do it!!  My email is available, if I can help.

~

Answer 6

All of us go through such phases during lifetime.

You are not alone in this and so try not to see yourself as victim, (if you would, things could get worse for you). It´s only one PART of your life which will change. Remember, EVERYTHING CHANGES.

I can understand your life conditions are difficult (no dad to give you support, mum very busy, no friend you can talk to, you don´t like your job..) and you see no way out.

Still, this world is so big and so full of wonders and beautiful people, and life IS REALLY NICE that you must find a little power in yourself to start exploring it!

Don´t you like music? :) It has a miraculous beneficiary powers! It can give you pleasure, comfort and ideas. People who listen to music become creative!

Do you like to read? Reading is a fantastic source of knowledge, experiences, answers to so many questions!

Don´t you like animals? Do you have a pet? When you have a pet, you feel an unimaginable love!! You love and you are SO loved by your pet! You start giving yourself to a sweet little creature; you care for it, it fulfills you tremendously!

And none of these things cost much. It´s surely at your hand!

Just go ahead and take them! They will give you a big relief.

Just for the start.. :) and things will start changing..

Answer 7

There are 2 kinds of depression, clinical, which happens for

no reason and is very hard to deal with, and situational,

which is caused by genuine reasons. I have that myself,

and it sounds like you do too.

First, you need to think carefully and make plans to try

to fix what is wrong. I see you already have a list. Then,

you need to recognize that it will take time, but as long

as you are beginning, it will all work out eventually.

Life is very difficult and sometimes we learn through

hardships. As you keep busy with your plans to make

positive change, you will begin to cheer up. You may

also need to adjust your goals a bit, and don't put too

much value on other people (like a boyfriend). They are

somewhat unreliable.

Make sure you eat healthy, exercise, and don't use

any drugs or alcohol. That only makes you feel worse.

Also remember that you won't probably get a good

relationship until you are feeling better because when

you're depressed others can sense it and it's not very

attractive to them.

If you don't mind my saying this, Christianity is not a

really helpful religion. If you have a spiritual nature, you

might enjoy doing some study of other belief systems.

I think some of them are more comforting.

As you begin to understand the true nature of existance

and have personal contact with deity, it will give strength.

You can visit my website and read about my religion if

you think you would like to. It's at:

www.cybele2.com

It's rather unusual, but certainly will be thought provoking !

Many Blessings,

Jean

Answer 8

Have you talked to anyone at your church, about this . Maybe you can get some support from them. But if you still the same way and your in counseling you really do need to find another one. Are you taking any medication? About two months ago I was really depressed and couldn't sleep, eat and didn't want to do anything. But I talked to my doctors and one put me on Cymbalta and I have notice a change and also have been seeing my counselor every two weeks, and it has been working so far for me. I also found other things to do to keep me busy as well as my mind so that I wouldn't think about what made me depress. Also, try going to the gym to workout, that also help me with this problem. People that you think are your friends aren't you friends at all. You are your only best friend. If you would like you can e-mail me and we can talk everyday if you would like too. Please be strong and hang in there and everything will work out for you. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You have a Blessed day. My e-mail address is: [e-mail].    

Answer 9

Keep yourself busy.That's the best way to stop thinking about anything.

If you can,change the job you are in.

Don't let people dominate you.

Do a lot a charitable work.

Keep away from guys.That way they stick to you.

Answer 10

It helps to talk to someone about it.

I go to counselling (mine is free), and it helps in soooo many ways.

Answer 11

The virtue of all achievement is victory over oneself, those who know this victory can never know defeat.

-- A.J. Cronin, a famous novelist

It is not what you have lost, but what you have left that counts.

-- Harold Russell

I am the master of my fate:  I am the captain of my soul.

-- William Ernest Henley

Answer 12

well you seem like you have quite a load on you right now.  cannot say i can relate completely with your situations, but i can i am a depressed person myself.

Life is c**p for me, high school was that great for me, i went to prom but didnt have much fun, i had friends but most didnt seem to care about me. I also deal with my parent arguing constantly. They argue about my big brother who is an alcoholic, my big bro has basically ruined us. I feel empty now because all my life i thought i would have a big bro to go to, but no it didnt turn out that way, he threatens us, but he moved out. I hate to see him because of what he has become, my parents own a resturuant but that is'nr going good either, i could end up in the streets soon. I feel like **** all the time. On top of all that i've realized im g*y, i always wonder if i will ever be with someone, i fall for older guys too, but who am i kidding i cant be with a 60year old when im 30. I want a boyfriend too, and my parents our unsecured about that also. the way i see it, life is ****, but you have to keep on living, dont doubt yourself, you know yourself you deserve better then c**p, be strong and make the best of things. If you see a chance to meet someone your age, meet them because they might end up being a friend that will help you. friends or supprose to help. Just wake up every morning, and say im going to meet, talk, go, someplace, for awhile so i know there are much more things to see in life, then the c**p i already life in. Thats what i do. it keeps me stable.and if your mom is treating you horrible then leave her becuase obviously she doesnt care that you are there helping with something she should be doing, all you have to do is safe your money and go. well thats is i guess i hope i helped, ohh also i use to cry in my sleep, but then i realized its best not, stay strong emotionally, becuase if everyone see how sensitive you are, they will hurt you, but if you keep your tears in, then you show your a surviver. well i wrote a big answer.lol i think you just helped me too.:-) I hope you will have a great day. Remember make the best of things no matter the atmospher, because one day, you'll leave the miserable and be with the memorable. get me?take care.

Answer 13

be strong  

Answer 14

i see, well i seem to be heading the same direction with this.

im only 15 and i shouldnt have to feel this way...no one should have to feel this way.

and i know that it seems the only way out is giving in.

but if you think about it...what else is there?

i rather stay alive and find out whats gonna happen tomorrow.

or i write about it in lyrics and try to make something of what i got.

since ur older i know its harder since your not in skool anymore.

i suggest you move.

i really wish i could move...

people here are complete azzes.

maybe you should set some goals?

what do you want your carreer to be?

well yeah.

sorry if im no help :/