Why am i so scared to do this?

Question

i have no self confidence in myself and for some reason im scared just to go for walks like on the side walk or going into a mall. I don't know why maybe cause theirs people there and i think there looking at me. I feel they might say stuff to me like make fun. people don't do that to me anymore cause im defiantly not a small kid anymore and im different then i use to be but when i was younger i was picked on allot. ever since that I've always been afraid of that. I just want to be able to walk out of my house and go for a walk downtown or go into a mall or store and not be afraid. what can i do.

Answer 1

get some counselling and see a doctor they will help you through it  

Answer 2

It sounds like you have learned a conditioned response to your childhood bullying. That means now that they don't bully you, you still expect that to happen. This is like a bad habit. The false expectation just doesn't want to go away.

It's hard to tell whether this is a product of your lack of confidence. I'm not sure that this is the same thing. You may need to learn to assert yourself, and you may just have a bad habit of expecting the worst so you become negative. It may be a form of depression that you continue after all this time to fear healthy social contacts. Whether people look at you or not, that is not necessarily a threatening gesture. You should be able to assess a casual glance for being what it is. You seem to read too much into it.

It may be true now that you long for friends and you don't know how to go about it. You don't know where to begin and you are used to having to be on your own. You don't know if you want them trespassing on your private space. If it were to go bad and they acted mean-spirited, it would probably draw a very bad reaction from you.

I think this sounds like a form of depression. You are just stuck in a rut. You can't change because you will react badly. You may need antidepressants to help you calm down and learn to relax. It won't happen over night, but in time, you could learn to stop listening to the negative expectations and learn to calm down and see social situations for what they really are. If someone is unpleasant, walk away, it does not have to be an issue of feeling bad about yourself. You don't internatize conflict, you walk away from it. It's that simple. Foolish is, as foolish does. It doesn't reflect on you as a person.

Once you can calm down, you do need exposure to social situations so you can discern the situation correctly. To assert yourself, to stay calm and deal with it, it may not be fun at the time, but to evaluate it correctly and leave it at that would be a wonderful learning experience for you. To stay calm and cool and say "Oh, well" would be liberating.

As adults, we are not usually bullies, but some people can be difficult for anyone. It is not exclusive to you. To learn that objectivity, to decide it is no big deal, is what we all have to do. Read some pop psychology and learn some words so you have an arsenal at your disposal to address what upsets you.  When you know what you feel it can't upset you. It's no longer a mystery. When your emotions are not longer a burden, you will have liberated yourself for a better day.

I hope this helps you.

Answer 3

I was also made fun of growing up.  This really hurts.

Even though it still hurts, you have to go out and do what you want to do so you can feel happy.  So, go out of your house and go for a walk downtown or go into a mall or store.  You are different than you once were.  People are so busy with their own thoughts, they are most likely not thinking about you.   Go out and have fun.

Answer 4

Hey, we all are self-conscious sometimes. You say people might look at you when you walk outside. So they look at you for 30 seconds tops and i'm pretty sure they'll resume to whatever it is they were doing, unless you're gorgeous, then they'll ask their friends to look at you and they'll all point to your direction. =) but other than that, you don't have to worry much. The world is yours too u know. have you tried talking and going out with your friends? don't be scared. it's all in your head. tell yourself you can do this, and you will be able to do this.    

Answer 5

You might have a medical condition, I'm not sure of what The actual terminology of the condition is,but I do know there is medication a doctor can prescribe to help you with your problem, if that is what ails you, however

My suggestion to you is take up something which builds confidence such as Martial arts or getting in shape. I'm a personal trainer and Ive seen it time and time again, when Ive had clients who are so shy when we first meet, they almost seem bottled up. then a couple months go by and they see their bodies change for the better then all of the sudden they have a new found confidence actually wanting to show off what they have achieved.

what it all boils down to is feeling good about yourself, so find what that one thing you can do to build up your confidence ;)

best of luck

Nick

Answer 6

Everyday pick something about yourself that you love and tell yourself. This can be something about your appearance or who you are as a person, or your personality. I know it sounds silly but it can really help. Also you need to get it into your head that it doesn't matter what other people think about you. Anyone who makes fun of you or says bad things about you, it's actually because they feel bad about themselves and for some reason it makes them feel better to make others feel bad. If this happens, just feel sorry for them, that they are so miserable and pathetic in life that they have to cut other people down. You don't need to fit their expectations or criteria, only your own!! I do think seeking some counseling is a good idea, to deal with what has occurred in the past, however try to always move forward in life.