Why are Parisians so unfriendly?

Question

My husband and I went to Paris over the holidays and were very disappointed by the city in general -- the museums and food are wonderful, but the city is vastly overrated otherwise.

One big downer to the vacation was the people. The people in Paris are rude and unfriendly. This is the first vacation I've taken where the locals were so unwilling to help us. People say that the French are only like this toward Americans, but this is not true (we are not American, were not speaking English, and they were still rude). I didn't realize what a difference the locals make in shaping one's vacation, but it really is true.

I had high hopes for Paris but came away very disappointed. There are plenty of better places to visit where the people are warm and inviting.

Answer 1

I've never been but heard the same.  I think that they can tell an American within a foot, maybe you weren't speaking English but it could be the manner of dress or something else that gave you away.  They don't values the dollars you spent in their country, otherwise they would treat the tourists in a friendly attitude.

Answer 2

I think that even a lot of experienced and sophisticated visitors may fail to understand that they are dealing with a particular set of cultural differences and facts on the gorund that combine to give them the impression that Parisians are unfriendly and/or rude.

Parisians are formal as are the French generally.  There is a clear distinction between the stranger and the real friend. So the easy informality of Americans (which they have spread to many other places) is not forthcoming.

Parisians deal with the problem of urban density by erecting mental walls between themselves and their environment. This is a common way that big city folk deal with crowding (there are other ways to do it but this is not an unreasonable method).

Parisians must also deal with the fact that literally millions of tourists swarm over their city at all times of the year. For those who are in the tourist trade this may be a boon but for others it is simply a pain in the neck.

For myself, I have never experienced Parisian "rudeness" in over 35 years of traveling to Paris. I have encountered people who don't want to be my instant buddy or become my unpaid travel guide but I take no offense. My attitude is that strangers owe me nothing. On the other hand, I have meet a lot of Parisians who have been helpful. I take this as a gift.

And, generally speaking, I actually find it easy to make friends in Paris and have many such relationships that have endured for decades.

Answer 3

This is a very good question. I know Paris very well (in fact I was born and mainly raised there, though I lived in many different places) and I think I know why people are so unfriendly there... Paris is a very stressfull place, it's expensive to live there and it is packed, absolutely crowded to death. So it makes it quite an unpleasant place to live in. However, it's probably the only town where a French looking for his dream job is likely to find it. As a conclusion, the people who come in Paris from their hometown don't enjoy their time here and they have a very negative attitude toward everything, included toward the tourists. It's not the case with real parisians (I mean people who were born here) because they are used to the crowd, they actually enjoy living there and they don't wish they could be some place else as the "immigrants" do (it's their hometown after all). But the fact is that real parisians are few. So the majority of the French you meet in Paris hate living there and inconsciously tend to be unfriendly or even agressive.

That's when I discovered New York and its very friendly atmosphere (well compared to Paris anyway) that I realized that this happens only if people are happy to live where they are, which enables them to grow a sense of self-acceptance and easiness that benefits to their everyday encounters. I don't know if this makes sense to you...

However, I must add that Parisians are much nicer than what they used to be (!) and that their behaviour is constantly improving. Maybe in a few decades will they be considered as fairly nice people. Who knows...

Answer 4

Try Paris again - it is a beautiful city and the people are, contrary to popular opinion, extremely helpful and patient - I only encountered one 'bored' waiter and I couldn't blame him as, frankly some of the tourists were really rude and I would have lost patience very quickly. My French is very rudimentary but I made sure I always spoke as much French as I could and I was overwhelmed by the friendliness and helpfulness of the Parisians. In fact I just wanted them to leave me alone after a bit - the service was excellent and very civilized. I loved Paris and can't wait to go again. Try again.

Answer 5

Hy I'm french and it's true that in whole France, there is many people unfriendly even with french people but not all even if most of them are unfriendly!!

then it's also true that in other countries you can find people less unfriendly but you can also be disappointed...

Answer 6

i never been in paris or any place in france. but i understand what u mean.

where i work is a kind of international place. i meet lots of people from all over the world. and of course i meet lots of french from paris and from another town of france,i also have lots of french friends.

i accept the same that they are not really friendly,mix a bit with snobbery and arrogance,they also easily to get temper and angry with every situation without no reason.

i understand that they are what they are,can't change them,and also they never try to addapt or adjust themself for anybody.

if u want to communicate happily with them,u have to just accept the way they are,and be patient. then u will see that they still have some good side hide behind.

Answer 7

Your account lacks examples. What happened to you : were you robbed, assaulted,  verbaly abused, cheated ? Or are you just disapointed because people didn't look pleased enough to see you ? If a restaurant waiter smiles to you because he's expecting to be tipped for that, does it make a nicer person of him ? People in Paris  are not used to smile to strangers but it doesn't mean they're rude or unfriendly (next time, try to visit Russia. It's even worst there). When people travel abroad, they should  try to understand the way people act in the country they visit instead of saying that : "one big downer to the vacation was the people". So, Parisians are not "unfriendly", they're just not double-faced while in other countries people may smile to you and think you're just another complaining lousy tourist.

What you experienced is "culture shock" : people of other cultures don't behave the way you would expect them to. And you come to the conclusion that they're bad. So what do you travel for ? To see places where people are just like you ? You don't have to go abroad to meet people who are just like you. To see monuments ? Well, you've seen them. There are hundreds of thousands of expats (including many American) living in Paris, they seem to appreciate this city more than you do after a few days there. Well, maybe they're a bit more open-minded than you are...

Answer 8

When you live in a big city like Paris, there is plenty of frustration, stress, and competitive ego duals. Same holds true in NYC. Believe me, I live and work there. No one has the time or inclination to be nice and polite. Such is the ways of the world.

Answer 9

The majority of the french think that they are a cut above everyone else-simple. Some are very nice people, more so the younger generation. I speak french and still get grief!?!

I was overjoyed to see Italy beat them in the world cup since I am half Italian.

Looking from my english side I have always wondered why they have always given us Brits a hard time. They have blocked our ports of entry into the EU, burned our sheep and treat us like s**t!

Wern't the UK, USA and  Canada the ones responsible for saving them TWICE from Hitler and his mob....??????? Very ungreatfull!

Such a beautifull country but such arrrogant behaviour by some.

Anyway, like my Italian-American friend says, goto Roma and the rest of Italy and you will find the people much more open and friendly!! If you want to go one better than Italy, goto to Greece, they are the most friendly people in the world!!!

Answer 10

i'm very sorry for you and your husband, but i can told it's not  the true.u have many people  some times, he's nice and some times no ! !  i'm french, and  in lyon ,  we are nice with all the people

good luck for your next travel

Answer 11

It's not true! Parisians are very friendly and nice! I have been in Paris for many times and I didn't have any problem at all!

Answer 12

I do not know why some Parisians are so unfriendly, particularly those in the tourist trade. We travelled to Paris for New Year's Eve, what a disappointment! The Champs Elysee was filled with rowdy drunks and there were no fire works! We went to the Cafe de L'Homme, Place de Trocadero, which was an unmitigated disaster, characterized by appallingly bad service, mediocre food and topped off by the cloak room losing some of our apparel.  Combined with the arrogant and unreliable taxi drivers, and uneven service in restaurants, brasseries and cafes, my advice would be to get a really good CD of Paris and go spend your vacation dollars in a destination that appreciates your presence.

Answer 13

Unfortunately, I agree with you. I say unfortunately, because it's such a stereotype, the cold, haughty (and racist) Parisians. But this has been my experience, too. I can't answer why they are the way they are, but suspect it's a superior air that's related to insecurity over the way that the French language and culture are in decline in the world. I don't think that American culture is better than French culture at all, and I love the French language and French literature and art, and I just wish that the Parisians would loosen up a bit. They seem rather sour. If you want to see beautiful and warm people with a beautiful city go to Rome, or almost any other Italian city. If you mangle Italian, they'll still smile and praise you. Yes, I'm an Italian American, so I guess I'm somewhat biased, but this is an opinion shared by all my well-traveled friends. Another thing is that the Italians really seem to enjoy life but don't seem to be doing it in a self-conscious, strained way as if it's an art form. And they do it in a way that includes others, doesn't exclude them. Spend your Euros in Italy and by-pass "the gray lady" as Paris is called.

Answer 14

I'm disappointed you are disappointed. I was many times in Paris and every time people were friendly and helpfully. My vacations were always wonderful, maybe you are right, but I didn't have such an experience.

Answer 15

Im up here in Canada and get to see all the american tv, movies, news everything else

And with the amount of anti-french sentiment I see in american entertainment, is it really any suprise that the french dont like americans very much.

I mean if I hear 'well we saved your butts in both world wars' one more time im going to scream.  Dont you americans realized how much the french helped you gain independance?

Answer 16

Hi from France !

Only certain Parisians are unfriendly !! Don't generalize so...

Have a nice day,

Cat.