Why are SOME mothers so judgemental about teen mothers?

Question

As a mother I am curious why there is, at times, very little empathy from other mothers and women for teen mums. Its so judgemental to form this opinion about "all of these teen mums" that you know - when in fact its one teen mum that lives 5 doors down, that you have never even met. How about walking a day in their lives before you judge them. ALL teen mums are not irresponsible, unemployed s***s.

Im not a teen mum just a single mum who cops her own fair share of discrimination and judgement from other people. I am just so tired of the lack of empathy from some of the questions that are posted on here.

Answer 1

I get a lot of weird/dirty looks whenever I'm out with my cousin. She resembles me a lot, more than my own siblings. I think older women just criticize/judge younger women, especially if they have kids.

Answer 2

I think that all teen moms are irresponsible, if they become a mom by having s*x with a guy. But they are absolutely not unemployed s***s. That there is a little harsh.  For the irresponsible part, if they were responsible then they wouldn't be a mothers in the first place. Same with teen fathers, too. But just because they are teens with child, they shouldn't be given dirty looks to. No matter what mistake anyone makes, other people should not make them feel bad.

Answer 3

Yes, it is very interesting isn't it?

All mothers need support, not condemnation, whether they be older mothers, single or teen mothers.

I take it you were blocked by that judgemental mother as well?

Answer 4

I don't know why either its quite disturbing if you ask me. They made a mistake thats all. Plenty of the people here were probably doing it too they just didn't happen to be so unlucky as to get pregnant. If they are taking responsibility for their kids and caring for them adequately it's no ones place to judge them.

Answer 5

I sincerely sympathize with pregnant teens.  It's a double bind.  If they have an abortion society says they'll burn in h**l and if they have (and keep) the child, society condemns them.  The ironic thing is that corporate welfare costs this country a LOT more than welfare moms ever will!  Wake up people!  We're blaming the wrong group!  Being a single mom is incredibly difficult - especially if you are a teenager.  I think parenting in general is challenging these days.  People need all the support they can get.  As for WHY mothers (or people in general) are so judgemental...I guess it feels good to look down your nose at someone (like I'm doing now)...

Answer 6

Because they are stupid, leach off relatives and the government and couldn't keep their legs shut. Then they whine about people "judging" them. when in reality, they know nothing, have no experience in life, and no business having a kid when they are kids themselves. They are a burden on society and are setting their kids up to fail. They are looking to justify the fact that they were S****y and irresponsible. Can't stand those stupid pregnant teens that act like little madonnas when they are actually just immature and selfish.  

Answer 7

They're being hypocrites. Many of these women likely lost their virginity while still in their teens and definitely weren't virgins when they got married. The difference is that they didn't get pregnant or they had abortions.

Answer 8

I find it annoying.  I'm not a mother, but I can imagine how irritating it is.  Even worse is when single fathers or teenage fathers get so much praise for doing their job: "Oh, he changes diapers!"  or "He picks his child up from school!" But when it's a woman, they get bashed for being single mothers, as if it's always by choice.  It is unfair.

As for teenage mothers, as you say, you have to be in their situation to know what it's like.

EDIT: Lumpy E

"And those black little babies grow up fatherless and uneducated and get pregnant at a young age and the cycle continues. "

Babe, single mothers come in all shades.  Let's not drag race into it.

Answer 9

I think the answer is exactly as you implied; i.e. it has to do with the notion that many people are presumptuous enough to judge others without so much as knowing the circumstances they endure, nor knowing what has led to the teen pregnancy.  There is a perception in the West, this is not my opinion, that teens are not mature enough to care for a child and their maternal judgment is insufficient.  This sort of idea is generalized to teen mums by many people and it's really adding insult to injury.  Being a single, teenage mum is difficult enough without the unnecessary judgment of others.

Those who are quickest to judge are generally those who need the most teaching.

Answer 10

You always take a chance of getting pregnant when you have s*x. Even if its accidental. Yea some people show little empathy but think of this would those same mothers do the same thing if they didnt have there kids would they care if they hadnt gotten pregnant would they look down on a teen mother?

Some really just didnt take care to get educated before they laid down with the guy.. Im sure teen fathers get looked down even more if not worse if there not even around.  

Answer 11

Because people love to judge and feel morally superior, it makes them feel better about themselves. Sad. But the thing I find most interesting, and it's mirrored here by some of the answers already, is that the mud is always slung at the teen mums, but what about the teen dads? They couldn't keep it in their pants, they're so irresponsible...how often do you hear people saying that? And worse than that often the fathers having nothing to do with the kids. So you have a situation where these young girls are at least trying to raise their kids and they're the ones copping all the harrassment. What a double standard.

Answer 12

I can sympathize with your feelings. I'm in my late 20s but honestly look 15 or 16 and get awful looks and stares when I take my children out. Ive had people ask what I was thinking having children "so young" and "wow arnt you a bit young to start a family". I can always tell them I'm almost as old as them, but sometimes I just let them have their smug misguided superiority complex.

That said teen mothers like any other come in all shapes, sizes and shades: and they come in varying degrees of ability and maturity.

Their are great teen mothers out there but also bad ones which is true for mothers of any age.

Its not the ideal situation to become a parent at 16 but its not my job to judge, and with a good support system they can do just as well as the rest of us.

Answer 13

There are many exceptions, but typically teen moms (and dads) do not do as well as they could if  they had waited 10 years.  Many feel all teen and single mothers do is eat our tax dollars for their own "mistakes".  While I do find this true in blatantly irresponcible cases, most are doing the best they can and do the the support of socioty and especially other mothers.

Answer 14

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