Why are adopted people so angry at their birth parents?

Question

For instance I know a few adoptees who have wonderful adopted parents who have given them great lives but they are super angry about being adopted.

Answer 1

They're angry because they feel that the only people in the world that were supposed to be there for them forever and that had a duty to love them abandoned them and left them in their time of needing parents, (when they were young.)

They do not feel appreciated and they always have the empty hole in their souls that was made by parents that they never knew. Their parents just left them....that's it, just leaving them for who knows what. It seems like thier birth parents didn't even care. They hate their parents because of all of the pain that their parents have caused them, but this if usually in the early years of their life(Ten through like 25)

Then they realize that their parents were never really their parents. Their adoption parents were their real parents.

Or there are the cases where the kids are taken away from their birth parents, which explains itself. They are mad because the parents were either abusive or they kept their children in bad areas for life. Then the kids hate them for trying to raise the kids like that and for letting them get so close to their parents, and then get wrenched away be child prtective services.

Answer 2

I would think it's hard to grow up in a home where you're loved and cared for, and then find out that some people are selfish and uncaring. It's hard to imagine that all parents wouldn't be as great as your adopted parents, and they can be angry at the birth parents because they see them as selfish, lazy, or incompetent. It could also make matters worse if they have thoughts like "wow, well if my birth parents were such losers, what kind of person am I going to be?" because many people will think that it's inherited, much the way children of abusive parents think they are doomed for the same fate instead of thinking they have a choice in the matter.

Answer 3

Well, being adopted isn't so bad, however, it does hurt to know that the one person who should have loved, wanted and cared about you from the start, didn't want ya and gave you away.

I am adopted, and while I love my parents, they can't give me the answers I want or need. Only my birth mother could do that, if she so felt inclined.  

Answer 4

They might feel like they were abondoned by their birth parents. This is far from the truth, but would be a natural feeling unless they understood why they were put up for adoption. Adoption is the ultimate sacrifice of love in my opinion. A parent who wants the best for their child but knows they aren't able to provide what the child will need is not only loving, but very unselfish. As a mother, I can't imagine the pain involved in placing a child for adoption. Unfortunately, the child may feel like they weren't worth keeping or something along those lines. A clear understanding would hopefully put the child at ease so he/she would understand how much they are loved by two sets of parents.  

Answer 5

My two sister were adopted as toddlers and they have always know they are adopted.

Neither are angry.  They consider our parents as their mom and dad.  They love the with all their hearts.

The biggest thing that bothers them as adults is their curiosity.  Especially any family history related to health.

But they aren't angry.  I always tell my mom and dad they are the best presents they ever gave me.  

Answer 6

They are 2 sides to this. They feel like they were not loved at birth. The truth is their birth parents loved them but couldn't care for them. They should be happy because they now have a great life that their birth parents couldn't give them. I know a few people who are adopted, but most of them are happy about it.  

Answer 7

Well, gee, i don't know, maybe the fact that i know my real dad left my mom with NOTHING but a newborn child in life has made me a little bitter towards him...whereas my step dad has done everything in the world for me. paid for car, college, etc. Yea, I can see how people would react negatively to being adopted, you always wonder why...

Answer 8

Maybe they feel as though their birth parents don't love them and that's why they were put up for adaption.

Answer 9

Some times its not anger at them. Its just felling either lied to or the pain of thinking your mom and dad did not want you. so y should you let any body in your life who might hurt you too.  

Answer 10

They think that the people who adopted them blew any chance they had to be reunited with their birth parents.