Why are children spoiled nowadays?

Question

children , children , children

i see them walking in the malls

bringing along with them their N-series ,PSP, ipod ,havaianas/crocs..

ds....

whatever they like , they get.

i'm not jealous of course..

just wondering why..

but why do parents want to spoil their children?

what are the advantages and disadvantages of being a spoiled person?

Answer 1

There are spoiled and bratty children. A spoiled child is alright I guess, what's wrong with having your own way and having things you can afford? But, a bratty one is another story. A child can be spoiled without being a brat.

Answer 2

Some parents spoil their children because as most of them would say, they don't want their children to experience the hardships, sufferings and sacrifices they have experienced when they were young. They want to let their children enjoy their youth that is why they spoil them with things. The good thing about this is that as the parent you are able to let your children know how much you love them and how much they mean to you. On the other hand, it's bad because sometimes children grow up to be very dependent to their parents. Whenever they need something, they go directly to their parents for help. I guess, as parents, people should guide their children. Let them know that life is not always fun and laughters there are tears and hardships too.

Answer 3

Children have always been spoiled to some extent however kids today have more gadgets due to this being such a technological advanced society. I remember times when there were no cell phones, answering machines or other pagers... During those times if you could not reach someone you did not really worry and you would phone again or wait until you saw the person the next time.. Now everyone wants things now.. No one wants to wait... Yes their are disadvantages to children being spoiled because they do not understand when they do not get what they want. They expect to be able to get everything and anything quickly. This is bad for the kids because as adults they want the same things and expect the same things.. children with no rules or little rules are not the best adults.. heres a few articles for you to check out..

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/a...

http://www.lisajohnson.com/family/parent... (below)

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Is it Okay to Spoil Your Kids?

Learn how children become spoiled, and the consequences of spoiling a child.

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Published, October 31, 2003



None of us want "spoiled" kids - kids who are bratty, self-centered, demanding, inconsiderate. So, what spoils children and what doesn't?

When I was raising my children, I was often told that I would spoil them if I didn't let them cry - if I held them a lot. Fortunately, I didn't believe this nonsense.

You can't spoil a child with love. Children need love as much as they need food and water. The problem is in defining "love."

We are not giving love to our children when we give them everything they want on the material level. Parents often think they are loving their children when they pile them up with all the toys or activities they desire, but what is the actual result of indulging our children in this way?

There are three big negative consequence of "spoiling" our children on the material level:

1.   It fosters addictive behavior - filling up from the outside with things and activities rather than filling up from the inside through caring and creativity. Too many adults are addicted to spending or other activities to fill up their emptiness. If they are stressed, instead of dealing with the source of their stress - which is generally some way they are not taking care of themselves - they cover their feelings with some addictive behavior such as spending, TV, food, alcohol, and so on. When we offer our children too many toys, too many activities, too much comfort food, or allow too much TV, we are not loving them. We are training them to be addicted.

2.  Often parents provide things and activities for their children while denying their own needs. It's not loving to children to give in to their every demand, especially if it means putting yourself aside. When you constantly give in to your children and deny your own needs, children learn that it's okay to disregard others needs and be demanding brats. Children may not learn to consider others if you do not expect them to consider you by considering yourself. They will learn to treat you the way you treat yourself, so it is not loving to your children to disregard yourself. When you disrespect yourself, you teach your children to be disrespectful.

3.  One of the big issues in our society is that children learn to identify their self-worth with others' approval for how they look, how many toys they have, how expensive their clothes are. Unless parents show their children that they value them for their inner qualities - their caring, creativity, compassion, laughter, joy, passion for life - rather than for their looks, possessions and performance, children learn to attach their self-worth to other's approval. True self-worth comes from inside, from knowing we are valuable for who we are, not for how we look or what we do. Unfortunately, our materialistic society fosters attaching self-worth and lovability to others' approval for things such as a car or a house or clothes. When we "spoil" our children with material possessions, we foster co-dependency, which is dependency on others' approval for our sense of worth.

We can spoil our children with material things, but we can't spoil them with love. Love is the energy of acceptance for who the child really is. Love is understanding, compassion, caring. You are loving your children when you spend time just being with them, hanging out with them, being fully present with them, really listening to them. The greatest gift you can give to your children is to value them for who they really are on the inside. This is love, and nothing material can ever replace it.

As we move into the holidays, you might want to examine the values and expectations you are imparting to your children. Perhaps instead of all the money being spent on presents for your children, the whole family could part

Answer 4

My sister (20 yrs old) and me (22 yrs old) had quite a few toys, but they all fit into a few toy boxes in the room we shared together as kids. However, my half brother (8 yrs old), has toys overfilling his room so you can barely walk, toy boxes in the living room and some boxes on the back porch.

I can only see the disadvantages of spoiling a child. Judging by my brother he hasn't learned to appreciate what he already has and puts too much value in material things. He wants a new toy all the time, which he'll soon forget after someone puts it together for him when there are many many kids who would love to have even one new toy. =( If there are any advantages to this I'd sure like to know.

Answer 5

this is the influence of northern countries where filipinos watch  and copy  from the tele. besides another factor is that we have a lot of compariots who went to work overseas when they come to the phils or they want to catch up from the past by giving their children what they think they merit it! or they are just doing the same what they saw from their employers who has children! otherwise they want to impress the neighbourhood that they got the means now to buy what they cannot buy in the past.but for certain i know that my son who is brought up in europe is more humble compare to filipino children whether they are born overseas or in the philippines, which mean parents themselves are not good parents, and it's the children who will have the consequences when they themselves has to face the facts of life.

Answer 6

I think this is not spoiling their children.

Maybe, many of us had deprived childhood. We looked across the fence and see our rich girl neighbor with her life-size walking doll while we cuddle our pink plastic doll with a broken arm. And we would come to terms with ourselves, "When I grow up my children will not play with armless dolls as long as I can afford to give them the best toys."

I am a parent to a 15-year old boy. He has his own gadgets which I give from time to time. It is not my means of spoiling him. In fact, he never asks from me. I just feel like I would want him to have those stuff because apart from the fact I could afford to give them, those are the "in" things. If he asks for a quite rather expensive thing like a whole drum set, I would bargain with him that he uses his own money with a 50% subsidy from me. Almost all his expensive stuff were acquired in that scheme.

Answer 7

Having worked as a nanny, I can tell you that many parents spoil their children because they feel it's "easier" to just give in to them, especially when they whine for hours or throw tantrums if they think the parent will say no. Spoiled children know how to manipulate to get what they want. The reality is that it does the children no good in the long run - they have no concept of money or how much things cost, they don't know how to get things for themselves, they don't learn coping mechanisms to deal with it when they are disappointed.

As for me, I commonly walk around the mall with a DS, (borrowed) PSP, iPod, etc. I'm 19.  I'm a gadget nerd, and a huge part of the money I earn from working goes towards my "habit" of having shiny things that do stuff. I see that kids are starting to get cell phones a lot younger these days - at 10 or even earlier, compared to me getting my own cell at 15 with my own money - and that perhaps reflects either that these kids are growing up in a generation where phones are readily available and cheap enough to entrust to a child, or parents are becoming more paranoid and need their children to be in touch at any time.

By the way, Havianas are cheap and last a h**l of a long time. That's not spoiled, that's a good investment.

Answer 8

Spoiling the kids is bad.

But with the fast phasing of the computer age, if one can afford to buy such gadgets, it's fine so as not to be left behind. That's the major reason to buy such kind of gadgets and this cannot be considered as spoiling.