Why are men I use to sleep with marrying and having babies with other women?

Question

I already know---your gonna say, "Im easy" or I wasn't "marrying material"---So before you do---please READ. I am 25 y/o. Single. No children, have a college degree from a private institution, work full-time, and have been told I am extremely attractive. I KNOW I'm not perfect and have made poor decisions in my past relating to men, sexual dealings, etc. But it's seems like even when I take my time, and a guy seems to genuinely be interested in me---it NEVER goes beyond s*x. Even if I WAIT. And then, I'll find out months not years, but months later than he has had a baby with some other woman or is engaged. This is messing with my self-esteem HIGHLY. I can't figure out, why I don't attract a man who wants that type of life-long comittment with me. And I'm not desperate. I turn down PLENTY of men and have been single for 3 years now. So, I have taken the time for 'myself' and all that other stuff people tell you to do. I travel, I have hobbies, I volunteer---so it's not like I'm just throwing pity parties. Yet---I am so discouraged because I'm NOT getting any younger---and I don't even have a good guy friend who can consistently call me. What's wrong with me? When will I have my turn to have a baby and get married? I'm so depressed....

Answer 1

Only YOU can stop your sexual encounters. I have been single for 4 years because I wanted time for myself. It's odd because I'm in the same boat. I've only had 2 lovers though but one of them was amrried [without me knowing]. I'm a Roman Catholic and I feel like everything is happening as it should. My past experiences made me wiser and forced me to follow my guy feeling and be an observer first. Yes you are taking some time for YOU but the thing is don't force it. when it has to happen it will happen. I see it this way the same time you feel when it's your time to get married and ahve babies like everyone else, remember the guy whom you found out was engaged while he was with you? would you like ot be his fiancee? being cheated on?

I'm 24 and you know what, I love single life because right now all i see is a bunhc of my friends who are sad because they either just found out thier husband was cheating on them, or misbehaving or having second thoughts. Loneliness does get to you, but it will pass...when the times come for you to find the right man, or better yet for the right man to find you, it will just happen.

Word to the wise: don't sleep with them, take your time.

Answer 2

Dont stress everything will happen in due time.

Answer 3

nothing is wrong, it's just not the time for you to be a married woman

Answer 4

Hi, for starters you are still SO YOUNG! I am 43 and have a similar problem, though I was married for 20 years and have 3 children. But he was a totally wrong person for me and I should never have married him. Since divorcing I have had a string of relationships similar to yours. I have since found out that it is my mindset that causes this phenomenon. In my subconscious mind I am feeling unworthy even though outwardly I feel that there is nothing wrong with me, and so, I attract men who treat me as much. Start using some form of meditation, reiki, or psychic healing in order to gain optimum self esteem and start attracting the right men. Read "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay. It is brilliant. The law of attraction is an amazing weapon we all have on a spiritual level. I am now ready to meet the KEEPER OF THE FLAME, as I call him. And I know he is not too far away. Good luck girl, you have plenty of time ahead of you.  

Answer 5

Something in your personality must be demonstrating that you are a transitional woman for these men..they have their fun then move on. Don`t be surprised if they contact you even after they are married, to hang out. You have just been looking in the wrong places, keep looking, be selective, and burn the bridges with the exes. Close the door on your past, approach your future with a different attitude, and open a new door, the door to your happiness. It takes work, but don`t give up.Looking for a marriage minded man off the hop will result in failure. Let nature take it`s course , and don`t give in to demands with the hopes of getting married.

Answer 6

maybe you're being too methodical about it. You've ticked a number of boxes there but unfortunately relationships don't work that way. It just has to happen naturally, chemistry etc. Sorry, probably not much help.

Answer 7

Timing is just not right now. You want to keep focusing on your life, I say have fun with it and not look for something that isn't there. Love happens when you're least expecting it

Answer 8

they have moved on

Answer 9

Stop looking. He'll find you.

Answer 10

this is what I call... wrong time, wrong place, wrong people

Wait, u'll have what you want... be patient

Answer 11

I think you are at a good place now because You acknowledged  your past and what you want Now at this point in your life. I think you should be proud that you are at this point. I'm sure when you were in  your " faster days" you weren't worried about this. Now, you are -- good. You have slowed down and realized you want a baby.. you want marriage etc.etc. I say-- keep taking things slow. If not.. slower. Those guys that have babies with other women- they just weren't meant for you. Oh well. Let 'em go. No point in dwelling on them. You don't know how their relationships are going.. the reasoning.. if those girls just got pregnant on accident.. or w/e the deal is. So- not your issue. You have to focus on you. Love will happen when your least expecting it. You should go out, date, shop,party.. do whatever. Your time will come.. I'm a true romanticist and believe in the love and ever after. Your time will come. I believe you had to go through all of those years.. and seeing these guys with their babies.. to become the person you are now. Don't dwell on those  days of your life.. they are gone.. and now you are entering your new chapter of your life. Good luck.. stay strong... and focus on you. You are becoming a whole new YOu and You should be proud of yourself!!

Answer 12

Don't get so upset over this, you just have mot met the right guy yet. It will happen when it is supposed to happen. Don't beat yourself up over the past, just learn from your mistakes, and apply what you have learned in your next relationship. If all your exes are getting married and starting families, then they were not meant for you anyways.

Answer 13

your obvious problem that has turned everyone off is your insecurity.

Answer 14

I think you should re-evaluate the men you are choosing.  You said, "I turn down PLENTY of men."  I'll bet some of these turned down me are the life-long commitment type.  BTW, at 25 you should not be worrying about getting older.

Answer 15

Your priorities are messed up. You state, "When will I have my turn to have a baby and get married".  You're putting the cart before the horse.

Find a guy. Get to know him. Take months to get to know him. Stop giving away what is precious in the hopes of keeping him interested.  When you have a ring and a firm commitment, then give yourself to him, but not before.  Otherwise, you'll have that baby and wonder why he went off and married someone else!