Why are my toddlers so intollerant in the morning?

Question

I have twin boys, they turned 2 years old in February. I went back to work in January, so they have been on the same schedule for 6 months now and it seems to have gotten harder rather than easier. One more than the other (Sammy) is exceptionally hard to get ready for day care. He struggles and wiggles and screams when I try to get him dressed and keeps pulling his socks and shoes off. I always have a cup of milk ready for them when they get up and he never wants the cup I give him. Even if I let him choose the cup, he then wants the one I give to his brother. His brother (Stanley) pulls this stuff every now and then, but Sammy does it every single morning. It's really beginning to wear on me. I've tried to let him pick out his out fit the night before to make getting dressed funner, or I'll try to get them to sing songs with me while I dress them, I've tried dressing them as soon as they wake up or after they've been running around a bit (right away is easier!)....

Answer 1

it's probably just a phase, they're called the terrible 2s for a reason. they want more control and they want things their way, yet lack the conversational skills to make it happen. talk to their doctor at their next appointment to see if she has any suggestions. i would reccomend dressing one of them in their room while your hubby watches the other then switch the kids. (i m not sure if that is possible for you guys, but it might work) i think they are feeding off of each other's tantrums and that makes them keep going and going and going. i m not sure what else you could do, but if i think of anything, i will let you know.

Answer 2

All the kids do the same. But it sure doesn't sound normal if they do it everyday.

You being a mother have to understand that this is the most important age where they need you, your attention, love and care. I believe you spend good amount of time with them. Some kids understand the lack of love and care, but because of their young age they are unable to express it. And then they start expressing it in their own way. Every morning when Sammy wakes up, he realize its a time to go to daycare, time to be away from his mother, time to stay with unknown people and he gets irritated.

Try this one, after your work spend good amount of time with your kids, play with them, tell them bedtime stories, make them laugh. Every morning hug them, kiss them, talk nicely and say "you are so sweet, lovely...." and words that can make them happy. If Sammy starts getting irritated, call him and hug him, give him some time...chat with him on something else(like toys or games) and tell him "mummy loves you a lot, because you are so sweet" and kiss him.

This may take few days to make him realize that you care. And this is what kids want- love, care and affection. Give it to them and they will give you back everything you ask them.

Answer 3

Let him try to dress himself. You may need to allow extra time for him to do this, but if it takes the struggle out of your morning it is well worth it to wake a little earlier! My mornings were horrible with my son until I let him do more things for himself. Dressing was a huge power struggle until I gave him an opportunity to dress himself.  

For the cups, give them the same color cup, same size same everything, that way one does not think the other is getting something special.  

I hope this helps! I'm sure with two 2 year olds you have your hands full!! I hope it gets easier for you!!!!!

Good Luck and Take care!

Answer 4

The Happiest Toddler on the Block DVD - also a book - is good.  Netflix even has it.

Answer 5

The fact that they are 2 says that they may be just going through the "terrible two's" When did this start? 6 months ago or more recently? If it was 6 months ago it may have started as retaliation for you going back to work. But I doubt it. More than likely it was just a trigger. I expect you will see the behavior subside in a few weeks, (sorry it could be months) Just hold firm and don't let them see you sweat. They pick up on that and they will play you. Hold firm your the mom and you ultimately decide. I'm not against giving them a cup that they choose but if they change their mind after they have chosen and you've poured the drink. sorry to late to change your mind, it's poured. Tomorrow you can have a different cup. Good luck, luckily mine didn't pull to much of that when I went back to work.