Why are other mothers so critical of each other over everything?

Question

Everyone seems to criticize everyone. Why? Why not accept the differences in opinion and move on?

Answer 1

Right-

It's the nature of the beast. There are very few women secure enough to not put down another woman...and if you pair that with mob mentality...

Women were catty before they became mothers. They'd pick on each other for hairstyles, shoes, educations, make up, choice of boyfriends-

They've only switched to kids and husbands now.

Answer 2

That's something I wonder often!  I really don't mind people expressing their views or opinions, but there *is* a difference between kindly expressing your views and being critical and rude.  There are some that don't know the difference or don't think there is a difference.  What may be best for their child(ren) is not always best or right for my children.  I love getting different input, but I don't love getting run into the ground for my parenting preferences.

I can accept the other person's different view as long as they can maintain some degree of respect while expressing it.  It's all about respect; I find that a lot of people on this message board lack respect greatly and think their way of parenting is the one and only right way.  There are many good ways to parent your children, not merely the one set cookie cutter way.  Variety is the spice of life!!!

Answer 3

I don't know. but there isn't any point in continuing the criticism by asking questions about it.  

Answer 4

Not everyone is critical of others. If my friends are doing something that IO feel isn't smart regarding their children I speak up. As they would do for me. But if it is a stranger I don't know, as long as they aren't abusing the child, I stay quiet, unless you ask ridiculous questions in a forum like this  then i will tell a stranger what I think of them, example, some woman saying she was going to let 3 13 year olds go ALONE to Universal Studios, if you post something on here than you are open to people opinions, as far as I am concerned. Isn't that the point of asking?

Answer 5

I understand that some parents on here can be extreme but when someone comes on here and asks for advice we all take the time and give advice the way we know best.  

Would it be better just to say "oh well don't worry about it, what your doing is great!" to every question? No.

We give advice and it's up to you to take the mean ones with a grain of salt or let it give you the wake up call you needed.

Keep in mind that most of us have the child's best interest in mind.

Answer 6

I guess people don't realize that what might work for their child, may not work for someone else's. So they don't understand why someone would parent so differently.  

Answer 7

Ive asked this same question... I really just think it's because it's such a personal thing.  You know what works for you and it's hard to understand why someone else wont do that or believe differently.  An answer I recieved that really helped is "its like talking politics or religion with someone, its just always going to be a sensitive issue".  I just wish we could accept that there are many different parenting styles, being a mom is hard and as long as they are working at it and not abusing their children, we just need to mellow out!

LOL I dare you to bring up not breast feeding on here, whew!

Answer 8

Because people feel if your not doing it how they are, then they're doing it wrong. Their only defense it to criticize the way others are doing it.

Answer 9

because everyone believes their way is the right way :P

they are wrong..MY way is the right way..LOL

Answer 10

It's principle, I guess. It's not just mothers, it's human nature to believe that you're right, and everyone else is wrong.

People raise their children lots of different ways, that's their choice. I wouldn't step in and stop them unless the child was in danger in some way- or if it were out of control.

By out of control, I mean that five year old who smashed my windows and continued to curse at me like there was no tomorrow.

Answer 11

The only people who criticize think their way is THE ONLY WAY.  They can't for the life of them accept that other people may do something different, and oh my god, it works for them.

Answer 12

I think it's that as mothers, we are constantly second guessing ourselves- did I do that right? what if i do this wrong? am i scarring my child for life by doing this? So we become critical of other moms to make ourselves feel better! And if it's a subject that we happened to feel confident about then all the more so, because we feel so insecure about so many other decisions! It's an awful cycle and you are right, sometimes we need to just accept that everyone has different opinions and move on- if we feel good about a decision that we are making with our child and it works for our family then GREAT, but every child & family are different and what works for one may not work at all for another.

On the other hand- I think sometimes moms are too DEFENSIVE! If someone NICELY offers an opinion then be happy about it! You don't have to agree or use the advice, but if it's a suggestion or advice given out of care or concern then why make an issue of it? Why not be glad someone cares enough to share their experience with you? Of course that doesn't apply to the snide remarks that some feel the need to share- those people you can tell to get lost! :)

Answer 13

Becuase mothers naturally know what is best for HER children. Sot this concept of thought might merge with other children. But it just isn't mothers, same goes for grandmothers and aunts. It's just a WOMAN thing to criticize other women.

Answer 14

I don't do this. I think It's interesting to learn about other parents techniques. Sometimes I even learn some helpful tips.

For the most part I think parents do what is right for their own family. Who am I to judge? If everyone were the same the world would be boring.

My mother was always criticized because she was very lenient with me. But guess what? I am the only one out of all my friends that didn't end up a drug addict or total loser!

She knew what was up. And I trust that most parents do.

Mother knows best!  

Answer 15

If only that could happen.  Everyone has a different opinion on how to raise kids, and everyone of them thinks their opinion is the right one.  

Answer 16

Lots of mothers on here, for whatever reason, feel they are better than others and will judge you because of it.

I don’t care if you are a working mom or SAHM (the biggest competition falls between these on Yahoo) or if you are a bio mom, a stepmom, an aunt taking care of your nieces and nephews, a grandparent with custody….whatever the case is, we’re all aiming at ONE goal here and that’s to be the best we can to our children.

So what if what I do with my son isn’t the same as what you do with yours? I’m a great mother to mine (and those that aren’t mind) as I’m sure most of you are great mothers to yours.

I’m not here to judge one way or another and maybe eventually, other people will start to feel the same way.