Why are parents of "this generation" so against early age Potty Training?

Question

I am 50 something and in my generation (sound so old don't I) we readily started potty training at 12 months (sometimes younger) with no detrimental effects on our children. It is habit. If a child is intelligent enough to find a private corner to "do it", they reasonably should be able to sit on a potty chair. It was not tramatic. It was a transition from toileting in the diaper to knowing it was going to happen and sitting on a chair, often with a book in hand. My successful children, now in their 30's, are well adjusted, independant, self supporting professionals. No trama involved as some current new parents believe there will be. Again, if a child is aware enough to find a quiet place to toilet (behind a chair, in a corner etc), they are aware enough to find this quiet place on a potty chair. Common sense won out then, and can now. It is a matter of patience and the parent taking the time to help their children in this transition.

Answer 1

Part of the problem is the diapers we use today.  They are designed to keep all moisture away from the skin, so the baby honestly doesnt feel wet.  He/she doesnt understand the concept of feeling wet until wearing training pants.

Have you ever had a urinary catheter (foley) before for any length of time?  Its the same thing.  I had one for 3 weeks once (I was in ICU).  And when they took it out, I was incontinent because I had gotten out of the habbit of feeling a full bladder, holding my urine, and so forth.  I basically just had to regain the strength in my muscles, but its close to the same thing.

I think that if we still used diapers where babies could feel the wetness, they would probably learn easier and sooner.

Answer 2

Pediatricians recommend not pushing kids too much because it can backfire and stall progress. So I think a lot of parents interpret that to mean they shouldn't push them at all and therefore don't know exactly how to go about potty training their kids. Also, more kids are in daycare now than back then and it would be impossible for teachers to potty train 8-12 1 year olds at a time- that takes too much one on one time for it to even be considered feasible. I don't think people are necessarily against it. 12 months is very young though and usually when you start that young it takes twice as long to train them. It might be easier to wait until age two and get the training done in half the time- easier on the kids and the parents.

Answer 3

Although your kids are well adjusted it doesn't mean your way is right. It can be a bad way to go in the wrong hands....when a child is old enough to tell you it is "doing" it...that is the age to start...this way minimizes stress on both sides as the child invariably learns within a week. And the poster above me is correct...my child learned within a week at just 3 and has never wet herself...saving her much embarrasment.

Answer 4

I never knew one single baby ready to train at 1 year old.  Most kids don't even walk by then so how are they going to know how to control their bladders?  Kids should do things when they are ready..period.

Answer 5

It's not that i'm in any way against it.  I commend parents that have been successful with early potty training.  The thing that gets me is that it's often the parents who are potty trained at that stage and not the child.  In many cases, the parents learn to read their children's cues and quickly rush them to the bathroom.  In this day and age, parents are much busier (often by choice) and don't have the ability to watch their children's every move (again often by choice) so the early potty training method has become a thing of the past and for "supermoms".  

I think that whenever a child is ready, you will know - be it at one year, or 3.  Once the habit is formed the child will learn.

Answer 6

My mother in law was surprised that I didn't start potty training at 12 months. According to her both her boys were trained by this time. When I asked her how she did it, she said that every half and hour she sat them on the potty and waited. Pure luck! She admits that they had frequent accidents, but when you stay in all day it doesn't really matter.

My 3 eldest children were all trained before they were 2 at their request not my pushiness, It was really simple and they rarely had/have accidents. My youngest is only 8 months but I'm going to let him decide when he wants to be out of nappies not me.

Answer 7

Children that are forced to do things before they are ready have a higher chance of having set backs. My was was over 3 when he finally started peeing and pooping in the toilet and he rarely has accidents.  

Answer 8

I hate to be so down on my generation, but I think its because of two reasons.  One, we don't have enough time to do things they way they used to be done (i.e. take the time to train a child to potty train, spend enough time with our children) and two, we try to justify it by spoiling them so that WE feel better.  This goes for a lot of things.... look at what parents allow their kids to do in public- and we wonder why discipline is so poor in our country.    

Answer 9

I don't think people are against it people early potty train all the time. my parents had me potty trained by the time I turned 2 and all though I had a harder time potty traingin my daughter she is 3 and she is potty trained.

Answer 10

I would just like to say that I am 22 and I totally agree with you! While I do not have my own yet I think that it is rediculous when parents today have children that are 2 and a half and 3 years old that say "mommy change my diaper" and yet they still are not potty training these children! My sister-in-law had a son that was not potty trained until 3! He was telling her for over a year before then that he needed to have a diaper change! I think it is just shear laziness in the parents part. They find it "inconvenient" to fit it into their busy schedules. What is even worse about my nephew's situation is that when my sister-in-law finally decide to half way train him she would just let him do it anywhere he wanted as long as she didnt have to change a diaper. Yes this means what it sounds like, I am sad to say that I have had a 3 year old p**p in my back yard! I was outraged and expressed how inappropriate that was. I am glad to say that he is FINALLY potty trained, but I agree with you 100% as soon as the child starts to show interest (letting you know they need to be changed, hiding in a corner etc) it is time to potty train!

EDIT:

I just want to clarify that I am not advocating "pushing" your child into potty training if they are not ready or showing interest. I am simply saying that if a child knows they need to be changed or is telling you that they pooped or that they are wet then they obviously have an understanding of what is going on and can be trained. For some children this comes before 2 and others it takes until closer to 3, perhaps later.

Answer 11

They're not against it, but they fortunately know now better than to try to train a child who isn't ready.  Child development goes by readiness, not age.  While some 1 - year - olds may be ready to train, many aren't.  Thank goodness we know now not to push kids who aren't ready, and the detriments of doing so.  

I'm also not buying the "we readily potty trained at 12 months" part.  My mother is older than you, and none of us or any of the other kids around us were trained at that age.  You're definitely exaggerating.

Answer 12

I did a lot of reading about this - I would love to potty train earlier - it is nicer for the pocketbook!  Unfortunately, studies have shown that when potty training is started before 2 years it usually takes until age 4 or later for it to be completed, whereas when it's started after age 2 it's usually completed by age 3.

Plus, my son showed no understanding or desire to use the potty until around his second birthday, which was also the time when he first started finding the quiet spot to do his #2 in.  I have friends who started earlier and they just went from accident to accident for months.  I have another friend who did cold-turkey no diapers at age 2 and 4 months and had her boy day-potty trained in a week.  

I would prefer the one week of accidents to months of accidents with no understanding of what's going on.  I have not seen the development or bodily-function control in a 12 month old to make a completion of potty training viable within any short amount of time.  I prefer making potty training fast and simple - as you said, a short transition.

As for trauma...  this website is full of trauma.  I don't think the parents who feel in control of the situation ever as questions about it here!

Also - what use it potty training if you have to do everything for them?  I think you should potty train around the time when they can have the coordination to learn about pulling up and down their own pants/panties/briefs.  

Answer 13

I don't really know why they're so against it (for the most part, and it's not everyone), but I've seen some people whose 4 and 5 year olds are not potty trained because "they're not ready". My mother is 53 and my dad just turned 50 last month, and I was born in 1991. I was fully trained by 18 months because I would find places to drop my pants and go (generally under the coffee table) and I caught on quick.

I have a theory about why this happens and people say that their kids are so hard to potty train. If parents start later and later (after 3 years old), the kids are used to going in their diapers and have done so for their entire life. Then, when mommy and daddy say it's time to get rid of the diaper and use the potty, they have a harder time adjusting to it. Just like people say it's easier for younger children to adapt to change than older children, it's the same way. I don't know if this is true or not; just a theory I came up with.

Answer 14

All children are different, some train earlier than others, i think alot more research has been done and it shows that if you try too soon it really could affect the child in a bad way, making them feel insecure and ashamed, i feel the best time is when they show interest, between the ages of 1-3 years they are in a "independent" stage and this could really make them feel great to kinda brach out on there own, however if they are chastised for "making a mess" at this age it could br very detrimental. GOD BLESS!

Answer 15

im not against early training...when ever you, the parent think the child is ready, then give it a shot...the thing with starting early is that you may be training for a lot longer...for example, you start them at 12 months, and you may be training them for the next 8 months...where if you waited untill they were 18 months or 2 years, you may only train them for a week or two...

I started my oldest on the pot when she was 13 months, she did go in it then but wasnt ready for the "i have to pee" and go on her own...it wasnt till she was closer to 2 that she was fully trained. so had i waited till she was older to start, i wouldnt have had to train for so long...do you understand...

The whole tramatizing thing, i dont know where you are getting that from....if a child is having a fit on the toilet and just dont wanna do it, then you dont force them...they are obviously not ready.