Why are parents putting their young kids in so many activities?

Question

I have a six year old little girl and she's one of the very few kids at school that is not involved in tons of after school activities. All of my nieces and nephews are constantly on the road to and from dance or soccer or whatever it may be at the moment. None of the kids in my family show great interest or talent for any of these activities yet their parents insist on spending their time and money doing it all.

Am I wrong that kids should have a chance to be kids? I see nothing wrong with kids being in activities. But spending all of your time away from school constantly running from one thing to the next doesn't make sense to me. My inlaws never have any real family time with their children. Sometimes I think this is the point for them and that they like it this way.

So am I wrong in not putting my kid into every activity that comes our way? This summer I will put her into a drama/art class because I know she'll be bored by then at home and because these are things she loves.

Answer 1

Sometimes putting your kids in activities is a good way for them to find out about interests that they may have not even realized that they have. However, family time is so incredibly important- and so rare- that you should be really picky about what activities they do have. I personally think one activity, maybe two a week is more than enough. Some people are over achievers and push that on their kids. If the kids can handle it, it can be a good thing later in life. But yes, I agree, kids should have time to be kids. As long as they are active and willing to pursue interests they DO have, let them be! You know your kids. Do what you feel is right. They're kids, they'll let you know if they think you are wrong!

Answer 2

No you are not wrong but at one point there started this wave that the best way to keep your child out of trouble was to keep them busy. It has just escalated out of control where they are so busy they eventually drop. Mind you, I have my children signed up for things but only if they are truly interested and their entire schedule outside of school is not packed with extracurricular activities.

Answer 3

No you are not wrong.  If the kid wants to be in it and has the talent then as long as their grades support it let them do as much as they want.  My son is 8 he does baseball in the summer as well as soccer and he is very good at both and loves to do it and a lot of his friends are on the same team.  he also does karate and is very close to testing for his black belt at 8, in the fall he plays little league football and in the winter basketball.  If it is a sport he wants to play and he does but forget the clubs and scouts that isnt for him.  My 10 year old does dance and gymnastics all year around and is really good at both and loves doing it but when it comes to sports the only one she likes is softball so we do that again she does it well and enjoys it.  She is more into scouts.  The oldest is not an athelete and hates all sports with a passion but she does play on the highschool basketball team and is good.  She is so wrapped up in FBLA, BETA, TATU, BAND, FCCLA etc that she is always on the go.   If the kid wants to do it then it is not a waste of time or money but if they dont then you are wasting both and they will resent it the older they get.

Answer 4

I think if  a child shows an interest in an after school activity then one activity is fine.If it is Cubs or Brownies , dance or soccer etc that is fine.Children should have an activity outside of school.However I don't think children should have after school activities so busy the parents need  day planner to remember what the child is doing on each night.Children should have free time to just be kids and make their own fun.Somewhere along the way, some parents started to believe it was good parenting to push their children into little over achievers who have every waking hour filled with something. How do parents think their children get to experience childhood when they face increased pressure to excel at near impossible levels in everything they do.No adult could live up to such unreasonable expectations.Structure and routine are important but there is something to be said for spontaneity in a child's life.

Answer 5

I am the same way you are.  My kids each have one activity that they are participate in.  My son does soccer and my daughter has chosen at different times:ballet, soccer, and now brownies.  I want my kids to have fun, but i don't want to overschedule.  I want downtime.  I want creativity.  I want them in the outdoors.  Nothing wrong with it.

People look at me strange, because I feel this way.  I also don't allow phones and tvs in their bedrooms either.  And the computer is in the living room so we can see their activities on there.

You are doing the right thing.

Not knocking what others are doing, more power to them.  I like it my way.  Now if they will just let people like us be! *S*

Answer 6

There have been studies done about this. It is a more recent phenomenon, and is often called 'hothousing'. Parents push their kids into extra-curricular activities. It means that the children do not have much time to just play. They do not learn how to play - they are always being entertained or taught but rarely play on their own. They have lower critical thinking skills.

I agree with you that kids need to be kids. I, 2 extra activities at the most are enough, if any at all. Insead, let your kids be kids. Develop relationship with them, and just play and enjoy yourselves.

Answer 7

I think it is bad when the kids are unhappy and do not want to do the things they are signed up for. Or if they are at home without anything to do, when it is clear that the family can do things together. If the family is happy and functions well, then I see no problems.

I personally will be enrolling my children in karate to start off. If they do not like it, we will find something that they do like without stressing about driving around. And if we don't find something, playtime outside will suffice.

Answer 8

It's a proven fact that children who spend all their time in structured activities (school, sports, classes) are less likely to be critical thinkers and tend to be less in control of their emotions.  It's good to expose your kids to different ideas and activities, however structured activity does not allow them to problem solve and interact like imaginative play does.  So for instance if your daughter is playing "house" with her cousins, they will decide things like who's the daddy and the mommy, who makes the dinner etc...  When children are in lessons or activities they are simply following a set of instructions without creating their own ideas.  Getting time to just be silly and engage their imaginations, even if they are an only child, is very valuable.  With less and less time for free play or (recess) at school kids have very little "down" time.  My son is 7.  During the school year he takes two half hour piano lessons a week and of course has home work every night.  For him this is enough structure.  I make sure he get enough time outside riding scooters with the neighbor kids, or playing magnets on the floor. During the summer I usually enroll him in a day camp for 4 to 5 hours a day.  This keeps him from being bored and me from having to come up with new ideas every day.  I think the summer time is a good chance to try different stuff to see what they really click with.  Last year my son did space camp this year he wants to try swim team.  Everyone wants their "little geneous" to be well rounded.  Most of the time you're just running yourself ragged for an average (but totally awsome) kid who'll probably go to Jr. college and be an average, but happy adult.  Parents can set unrealistic standards and in the mean time they're missing out on a lot of fun family time.  I was doing something in the kitchen the other day and my son came in and started making a sandwich.  I looked over at the side of his face and realized, "oh he can make his own sandwich".  That was a great moment......

Answer 9

i'm a hairdresser, and i listen to some of the moms in the salon, including one of the hairdressers go on and on about all the activities their kids are in........i get tired just listening to them.  my son is in tee ball, thats it........the rest of his time, he is allowed to be a child, like i was.  i dont get the idea behind all the activities.  i wanna know when these kids sleep properly, or even eat a meal at the family table, or is that just me?  when you see kids with daily planners of their own, its gotten waaaaay outta hand..............yes, i've seen it.

Answer 10

Maybe they make them do activities so they can make friends, and be fit. I know i dont like it when my 8 year old just sits around all day. So I have enrolled him in quite a few activities. I do not want him to be lazy, over weight, have no friends. plus i do like the fact that he learns new things and is able to play the things other kids are playing on the playground. Because he learned those things with after school programs.

Answer 11

because parents are trying to make their kids exactly like them. Kids today are just robots to their parents. The parents are making up for something they either miss or missed out on themselves

Answer 12

Not everyone lives in a neighborhood full of children to play with. These days, for safety, parents prefer kids to be in more supervised social activities.

I think Activities are important. It's a way for the child to express themselves in areas that are fun and interesting to them and develop their own personalities and talents. And in the long term keeps them from being bored or getting in trouble.

Having said that, kids still need balance of activities, down time and family time.

Answer 13

Well it depends on the child and their family remember being in activities builds self esteem, promotes togetherness and teamwork, also teaches them to stand up for what they believe in and not be a follower

Answer 14

I'm a huge believer in giving kids unstructured time, so I know what you're saying.  But as a mother of four, I'd answer by saying that you'd be surprised how different kids can be. Some kids really thrive on activities with groups of other kids.  Of course everyone should have down time, but the ideal balance can really depend on the kid.  That said, of course it should depend on the *kid*, not the parents' desires to make sure their child is keeping up with the Joneses in terms of activities.

Each of my older kids is doing three activities this spring (the younger ones do two), and I know that sounds like a lot (in the winter, they just did one each).  But they requested all the activities, they really enjoy them, they do them all on Thursday afternoons and Saturday mornings, and they have the entire rest of the week for downtime.  Thursdays are a half-day of school in my district (every week), so even with two (short) activities that afternoon they still get hours of downtime on Thursdays.  When my kids get home on other days, they always have two hours of playing outside, free play, and having friends over.  A grand total of two hours a week of activities really isn't taking away from the far greater number of hours they spend on imaginative, creative, unstructured play, and it's given them great opportunities to discover interests, talents, and passions they otherwise wouldn't have known about.  

In any event, of course you're not wrong for putting your kid into every activity that comes your way.  Nor is it wrong for a parent to put a kid into a couple activities that are interesting and fun for the child (and sometimes, in finding out what's interesting, occasionally misfiring with one that turns out to have been a bad match ... as long as you don't repeat that mistake next season! it's hard to know what you'll like if you don't try....).

Answer 15

My younger brother is 7. My mom lets him do one sport/activity at a time. Soccer in the fall, Baseball in the spring, and he only does them if he wants to. He loves baseball and soccer. He has shown interest in Karate, and when he's free he'll get a chance to try it out. My mom doesn't want him overly involved, and because of the kind of boy he is, he needs time to be home. When he's home he is always outside riding his bike, playing games, and being a little boy. And he is in just about the best shape you can be in as a 7 year old. He's skinny, and stronger than all his friends, he eats well, and even asked for little free weights for Christmas to get strong. I think it's a good idea for kids to be in some activities, because often they find their passion, like my brother and baseball. And it's important to help kids find their passion, but there is also a limit.

I think that the parents should be a guide, enrolling children in activities when its needed, and limiting them when it becomes too much.