Why are parents so against teen s*x?

Question

Parents (I can only speak for US parents) are so against their sons or daughters having s*x. I understand this in a wy because you wouldn't want your teen having a child or STD. But that is why I think parents SHOULD be open about s*x and talk to them. If you had a daughter, what would you choose? Not talk to here about s*x and hope she doesn't do it? Tell her wait for marriage which won't stop her anyway? OR would you rather sit down and talk to her, tell her about condoms and birth control and possibly get her on some, and have her trust and respect for being open and honest with her? Seriously, teens really appreciate the third choice and would feel more comfortable talking with parents about s*x.

One point i said was about waiting until marriage. I don't understand how marriage automatically makes you ready for s*x. What's the difference between the day before or day of the wedding? Are you suddenly ready now? Wouldn't it (continued)

Answer 1

Teach my child [when he/she is old enough] about s*x. But the answer to the real question at hand here is why the parents are against it. It goes back into our founding fathers days, back then it was sinful and shameful to have s*x before marriage. Considering that more than 1/2 of America is either Christian or Catholic that is their religious beliefs.

Answer 2

Yoo long im not reading the bit;c% a$$ sh%^

Answer 3

good point of vew hun

Answer 4

Sometimes a teen just doesn't want to listen to reason with a parent. Its great that you feel this way about it and would love for a parent to openly talk about s*x with their child but on the other hand most children do not WANT to have the talk with their parents...it sucks but its true...I seriously didn't even consider s*x when my parents gave me the talk and I was REALLY uncomfortable with the talk also...just because it was my parents and ewww...I'm now 21 with almost 3 children which I love dearly and I am married(had our first daughter before we got married tho) and my husband is the ONLY man I have ever slept with in my life so I am thankful for the talk they gave me,but that does not mean other teens will appreciate it as much as I did.

Parents are so against teen s*x because it can lead to a few things...

A teen parent,a teen with a sexually transmitted disease,A dead teen(fatal std contracted) also the fact that when s*x comes into play with it being your child...you feel like you are losing your baby...they are no longer a child anymore when they have s*x(although most still act like it)....and all these are tough things to accept as a parent. I have 2 daughters and another baby on the way and the talks I'm not looking forward to are "well you got pregnant so how are you 2 going to support the baby...." "Well they said this cream works on std's..." " There is nothing more we can do for your child...."

I think any parent can relate to this....

Most teens do not understand the reasoning behind us hating the fact that our teens are having s*x until you become a parent yourself...I knew I was the same way,half the stuff my parents said I took in one ear and let it go out the other and now that I am a parent I see EXACTLY where they were/are coming from...

Answer 5

Long story short....parents don't want their grandkids to have babies.  The parents (or new grandparents) are the ones who usually end up looking after and paying for their teen's surprise baby.  I believe that is the real main reason they want teens to wait until they are a bit older.

My son is not yet 2, so I have a little while until I have to have "the talk."  However, I am going to prepare him to be responsible.  I think it's foolish to think he'll wait until he's 20 to have s*x, so I want him to wear condoms.  I also want to teach him to RESPECT the woman he is with.  I don't want him to EVER use a girl for s*x and just dump her casually.  I want him to be a real man.

PS  my mom was like your mom.  I don't want to be like that!!

I don't believe s*x is for married people only.  It's for responsible, mature individuals who are consenting.  (I do think teens should wait until at least 17 though.)  s*x is a primal instinct and humans NEED it, as much as they do food and shelter.

Answer 6

My mom was always very open with me about it. She always told me that as my mom she wanted me to wait until marriage, but as a woman that she would want me to experience s*x before hand to know if I would be happy (in that area of the relationship) before I took the lifelong plunge. I was very open with my mom about my relationship with my boyfriend. When I felt I was finally ready I talked to her about it, she gave me things to think about, and took me to get birth control. We were both very open about it. And that's what gave me the courage to talk to her when I found out I was pregnant at 18. She's always been supportive of me and I plan to be the same way with my daughter. It's better that she learn the truth from me than something else from a friend at school.

Answer 7

I agree.  Education is key.

Answer 8

The problem is that as a teenager you can't fully understand what woulld happen with your life if you did get an STD or got pregnant. I personally plan to make it clear to my kids that s*x is not okay while they live under my roof unless they are married. But I do plan to teach them about condoms and birth control and everything that goes along with it. I view s*x as a "gift" to that one special person. How would that person feel if I had started sleeping around as a young teenager? As far as the difference between s*x before marriage and after there is a difference. There's just something inside of you that after you say "I DO" turns of and it's just so much more intense.

One of the big reasons that I'm so against teen s*x is because I had a friend die of aids. Her and her boyfriend at the time had been dating for 3 years before they did anything. After the deed was done she didn't feel right about it because she felt like she wasn't respecting her parents. They used a condom and spermicide. 6 months later she got a physical so she could be a certified life guard. In the blood test it showed that she was HIV positive. Her bf had given it to her. He didn't know he had it. She died about 3 months after she found out. She got the flu and it killed her. How would you feel if the same thing happened to you? s*x isn't something just in the moment. It can have life altering concequenses that teens aren't fully aware of even when they are educated. They may know what to do to TRY and prevent pregnancy or an STD but when you are sexually active there is never a guarrenty. You can't imagine what it did to my soul to see her die. Knowing that it could have been prevented.

Answer 9

I totally agree! I'm always surprised by the number of parents who wait to talk to their kids about s*x until they're 12 or 13 and then don't talk to them about birth control. My mom started talking to me when I started asking questions.

Because we started talking so young, it never occured to me to feel awkward about talking to my mom about s*x, so I've always felt completely comfortable asking questions. We've spoken in depth about birth control and all the pros and cons of s*x and how t otell when I'm ready.

I personally don't believe in waiting until marriage. I believe in waiting until I am in a monogamous committed relationship and I am completely ready to deal with any and all consequences. I don't feel like I need to have s*x or not have s*x to fit in, and I won't be so easily pressured.

I thank my mom all the time for being so open with me about s*x, as it has helped me to make smart decisions. I know that I'm not ready to have s*x yet, but when I am, I'll know how to be safe about it.

Answer 10

I say teen s*x is fine as long as they use a condom AND birth control

too many teens are immature and end uppregnant then ruin their lives and thier parent's lives by having a kid. and no one is informing kids about abortion and adoption. kids have no idea about the cost of living or raising a child, and they wont know until they are told about it or it's too late and they experience it

parents need to teach their kids about birth control...not waiting to have s*x isn't up to them...the feelings will come for teens and that is not something any one can control...but giving teens and pre-teens PLENTY of info about birth control is the ONLY way and the SMART way

Answer 11

I'm against it because teenagers are not mature enough or financially ready for the consequences of s*x. Yes, you use protection, but there's always a risk of that protection failing. What would you do if you got pregnant or contracted an STD? Yes, your parents would get you the medical attention you need, but why should they have to shoulder the financial burden caused by your actions?

When you're out of the house and supporting yourself, you can consider yourself your "own person". When you start paying your own bills, then you are entitled to making decisions without your parents' input.  Until then, you are their responsibility.

Answer 12

AMEN!  That's all that needs to be said.

Answer 13

Because some parents know that condoms and birth control aren't 100 percent effective. People still get pregnant even though they use both (I have a friend to back that up).

Some parents know their children aren't ready to raise a baby. Some parents don't want to have to raise their child's baby for them, because their child can't take responsibility for their actions. They want to still go out and party.

I think people should have s*x when they sit down and learn about everything that can possibly happen. After they think through whether they can accept the consequences or not, and not just "get an abortion, because they aren't ready to have a baby", then they can decide to have s*x or not. and not many teenagers think through this.

Answer 14

Parents kind of think of their children as toddlers even if they are old, also parents are also pretty over protective and don't really want you to be with people that they don't really know.

Answer 15

I think parents are against it because they know that there are alot of teenagers who maybe physically mature, but mentally you have to realize that you still have alot of growning up to do, now waiting for marriage that is a personal descison, but everything else is a parent also not wanting them to grow up! As to why a parent beats around the issues I agree that they should be open about it, but then alot of parents feel if they do not mention it it might just go away!

Answer 16

I agree.

I bet if more parents would talk about it openly, there might be less teen pregnancy and STD spreading around.

Knowledge and education are the key.

V

Answer 17

Because of pregnancy.....My mom did not talk to me about s*x well all she said is you better not end up pregnant which i didn't until i wanted too at the age of 21.

I put myself on birth control when i 16 years old. I decided myself way before i had s*x that it would be with someone that i would just know i would be with forever. Well we (my boyfriend, now husband) had been together for 9 months when i decided i was ready to have s*x. Yes he was my first and has been my only. We have been together now for 13 years and have one 6 year old son.

There is no point in telling someone not to do it because if they are going to then they will no matter what your parents or anyone told them about s*x but you can let them know that you will not be pissed if they want to get on birth control.

When i was 16 i told my mom that i made an appointment to get on birth control, she didn't say anything about it, she took me to my doctor and i got on the depo shot. Even though she didn't say anything i know she was glad that i was watching out for myself in not getting pregnant.

Alot of people think if they do offer their teens to get on birth control that is telling them to run out and have s*x but i don't thin that it is, it is saying don't get pregnant or catch something you will not be able to get rid of.

If i had a daughter i would be open to it all and not be mad if she told me she was thinking of having s*x and wanted birth control...Better safe than being a teenage mom.

I get all what your saying. Atleast you are thinking and being safe unlike so many others that think "i can't get pregnant" or "i will never catch a std because we love one another" --that does not mean nothing at all cause you never know what your partner may be doing behide your back.

Answer 18

Simple.

Children aren't to have s*x, it's immoral, it's unacceptable.  Protected or not, once a child has had s*x, all sense of decency and responsibility has been lost.

Promiscuity among children is something that will never be okay.  Losing one's morals and values is not something of which to be proud.  I don't care if a child is on birth control -- as I said, as soon as the child has s*x, he/she has no decency nor responsibility.

"They will do it anyway..."  It's sad that you have that mindset.  Parents are to instill good morals and values into their children, and as long as they do so, the children will be responsible and know right from wrong.  It was done in the past, it can be done now.

A 16 year old is a child.  

Teens are not mature nor responsible adults.  I'll say it again... promiscuity is the result of low values and morals, and it's a shame that people are okay with it.  Once you've had s*x as a teen/child, you lost all sense of decency.

Answer 19

Teen s*x is fine with me as long as both parties use protection (condoms and birth control) and are careful about STDs.

A lot of parents are against teen s*x because a lot of times, teens don't use protection. They don't know what could happen until it's too late, and they don't know how difficult it is to raise a kid.

Answer 20

very true.

my mother was open about s*x, and i waited. not til marriage, but until i found someone that i truly cared for and knew that was going to be around for a long time.

Answer 21

You're right on.  

The truth is - your parents are lucky you made the right decision without guidance from them.  But seriously - Shame on them.

You can't just talk to your kids one time, or put down s*x (as you said) it should be an ongoing, open, never ending conversation.  Otherwise - most children are lost and have horrible experiences as they learn in the moment and sometimes feel very guilty because the people who mean the most to them make it sound like a "dirty" thing.  

A smart parent explains why their child should wait for the right person, explains safe s*x and why it is important to protect themselves against pregnancy and STD's, and makes sure they feel confident enough in their own skin to not feel pressured to do something that does not feel right to them.  And if it goes well, then they can guarantee that if their child has an issue or a question - they are not learning from someone who is trying to take advantage of them.

Having a child might make you a parent - but it doesn't automatically make you a good one.  That comes from bonding and love you share with your child.  

I hope people learn from what you have just put out there.  Be safe and be happy - don't let this cause a drift between you and your mother.  Life is too short for grudges.

Answer 22

I think part of the problem is that is very difficult to talk to your child about s*x.  How would you feel talking to your parents about their s*x life.  You have a lot of good points.  but a person isn't really ready for s*x until they are ready to accept all the consequences that the s*x act might bring upon them.  Pregnancy is only one of these consequences.  men and women look at s*x a lot differently.  Once you have s*x with someone a female might feel an attachment to that person and be devastated when the boy brags about it to his friends.  You are right about marriage not being the magic bullet that means you are ready for s*x.  but publicly making a commitment to each other means that you might have the maturity of handle all that s*x and being an adult brings

Answer 23

s*x is for adults and married people period!  Teens have no business having s*x.  There are a hundred reasons why not and no good reasons why you should other than being the product of an immoral s*x crazed obsessed society that makes millions SELLING s*x!

Answer 24

Unless you have a full time job with insurance a home of your own and money in the bank you are not ready to have s*x. There is a lot more to it than finding a willing partner and s******g. But you kids don't think of that. When you start having s*x you take a chance of getting or spreading disease that can kill you or stay with you the rest of your life. Treatment for this will of course fall on your parents or the taxpayers cause your just kids. Or what about the child you may be making. The taxpayers will more than likely have to pick up the tab for that to. We all know that teens have unprotected s*x. Parents can talk to kids till h**l freezes over but they are gonna do what everyone else is doing. No matter how careless or reckless it is. It's not you that pays for your mistakes it's your parents of the taxpayers of this country. Speaking as a taxpayer I don't think your ready for s*x.

Answer 25

I think you're looking at this from the wrong angle. I mean i can understand what your saying, but i believe the pregnancy factor has more to do with it. I mean if you were a parent, it would probably change your perspective on alot of things. Especially on the idea of kids having kids. You might say "well i'm not a kid, i'm pretty much grown" but years later if you looked back on this whole thing about having s*x then you'd probably say "there's more to it than what i thought before". Just sayin...

-edit-

Dude your whole question is bogus. Everytime someone offers thier oppinion you just shut them down. You dont want an answer, you want an argument. =/