Why are people agreeable to change during courtship, but not after marriage? Is it "Mission Accomplished"?

Question

Why are people agreeable to change during courtship, but not after marriage? Is it "Mission Accomplished"?

Answer 1

I think before a commitment we are open to make our own choices easily.  After marriage we have to weigh our actions and our new courses against what we think the other person would want.

Answer 2

It has more to do with commitment.

Answer 3

yes. They think "this is how they took me, so this must be how they like me" or "it must not bug them that much because they married me anyways". And in a way they're right aren't they?

Answer 4

The hunt is over.The prey has been caught.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, most people are not "honest" during courtship.  There really is an "unspoken" mission at hand for some.  The mission is to "get married".   Seriously, I think it is more of an "unconscious" motivation, most people do not realize that they are being so agreeable.  They believe that if they show there "good side" then the person will fall in love with them.  Once you "love" someone, then you are supposed to be more "accepting".  Then, once married, the attitude is, "hey, what about me?".  The fear of losing the partner is gone and there is more freedom to stand up for what they want or believe.

Also, so many people are insecure.  By being agreeable and willing to do what the other asks, the person protects themselves from being rejected or from losing the "mission" of obtaining a life love.  

Marriage is great, but it can be very difficult when two people are fighting for "their rights".  Just make sure the "fight" is fair and you declare "PEACE" before going to bed at night.

Answer 6

YES!! That is male psychology. Women do the opposite.

The quote goes, "Men marry because they don't ever want their woman to change, and Women marry in hopes to change the Man..." Hence, marriage councilors!