Why are people calling me out and naming me on here?

Question

I don't care if people disagree, tell me I'm wrong, etc, but why pick me out of everyone to call out and try to put down my voice and my own experiences?

Don't I have the right to my voice, my opinion? I got told yesterday to grow up and never mind if I disagreed with a question (which wasn't what I was asking about), yet others can do this if they agree with certain other people? What, is there a club or something?

Do you only get support on here if you agree with the majority?

Answer 1

Calling out people by name is against the rules on YA & you should immediately report any such incidence.

Answer 2

Yes.  It's totally a club.  If you're not bitter, you're not in.

No, really, even though it's a bit clique-y here in the Adoption section, all are welcome to share their opinions.  Please don't let the bitter ones ruin what can be a positive experience.

Answer 3

Nyla, you do have a right to your opinion- and by the way, you are not the only one that is getting called out- I had my share- but you know something the more people stand up for what they believe the more you will be called out-  hang in there

Answer 4

Calling out people is wrong.  It shouldn't happen, no matter what the person called out has done.

You are entitled to your opinion.

But when you attack and insult others, I must admit having a little less sympathy for you.  In your previous two questions, you've been pretty nasty to adoptees.  Considering your daughter is an adoptee, I would think you might try to have a bit more empathy for us.  But even if you didn't have that connection, lashing out at a whole group of people that you don't know is not the way to behave, especially if you want others to treat you with respect.  

Further, as has been pointed out numerous times by people who disagree with me repeatedly, this isn't a support site.  This is purely an informational site.  If you need a support site, I'm sure a number of users can suggest some good ones for you.  

You may be hurting, and I have some sympathy for your situation.  But if you lash out and attack people, are you really that surprised by the response you've received?

Answer 5

lmao.... u make me laugh....... if u get easily get buthurt on the web i can imagine in person....

Answer 6

Hi, I honestly don't know if your the one being picked on or your picking on others. It sounds as if when you added information to your questions you picked on peoples answers and THEIR opinions. You do have the right to voice your opinion, But maybe being rude back to people isnt the best option.

Sorry this may seem rude.

Answer 7

i don't knw why you are called out does not make sense unless they know who you are. its not to point and make fingers to whom its to teach and that is what we are here for.

Answer 8

I think you were getting sympathy

Answer 9

Nyla, you are entitled to your own opinions.  Please, don't let a few drag you down.

Answer 10

Don't let those that are rude on here bother you. It isn't gonna change. You will find that if you don't agree with some you will get  ridiculed for it. But just go on weed through the bitterness and see that there are some really good answers given also.

Answer 11

i'm sorry for all those who hurt your feelings

Answer 12

i have read your answers and questions, some come accross as hostile and at times, down right mean. wether you meant for that to happen is unknown.

you make some very valid points and your opinion is importent. but you also have to understand, as passionate as you are about your experience, some of us are the same with ours. does me having a great experience, relationship with both my bioparents and my adoptive parents make me a unworthy person? i think not. i would expect you to reply to my questions the same way i would to yours, with respect to my story and feelings.

in my opinion, and this is only an opinion (as my birthmother would say, 'like certain anatomy, everyone has one') if you were to make a slight effort to be less confrontational and more respectful then the others will follow along.

there are many on this forum i do not agree with, at ALL, but since they show me respect by not attacking me or my experience i show them the same back. as you see, this subject has many angles and i have learned more here than anywhere else. we all have something to learn from one another, but when we mask that with obvious hostility, no one comes out ahead. adoption draws up enough emotion, throwing insults at one another just fuels more hurt.

there is no club, most of us have just learned that everyones entitled to their opinion and the chance to voice their story, in a respectful way.

Answer 13

Its just Yahoo! Answers.  Ignore people.  I've been "called out" a few times too.  Just smile, block the user and go about your day.  There's nothing anyone can say or think about you on this site that should impact your REAL life.  Its really no big deal.

Answer 14

Nyla, there are people in this world known as jerks. They live to put other people down in order to give themselves attention and try to gain popularity. Unfortunately for them, they don't realize how shallow and childish their actions are and how people actually scorn them. You were the unfortunate target of one of these so-called "jerks".

Answer 15

You are entitled to your own opinions.  The only advice I can give you is stay strong.  Report answers that do not abide by Y!A rules, and try yourself no matter how hard it is, to also stick to those rules.  It gets difficult, trust me.  But don't let people abuse you.

Answer 16

it is just the way life is...get over it...

Answer 17

Because you said that adoptees only want their medical history in order to have something to complain about.

I found your answer vile and I am done defending you.

Answer 18

Calling out is a violation, so just report it.  

By the same token, you should not call out either.  I don't recommend that you respond to answers by doing edits to your question and directly responding in an angry manner.  It just makes you look bad.  I know it's hard, but just let everyone speak their peace, take whatever you can use, and leave the rest.

Answer 19

This is why!!!

Here is link: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

question asked: My daughter doesn't want to know me!?

I gave her up to adoption at birth, I did it for her I knew I would never make a mom. Now she's 22, and I've found her. Her family are cool, but she just not that interested. Most times she won't return my calls or nothing, she does meet me occasional, and she talk to me when I call, but she dont call me mom or nothing. I feel like I made a mistake now and i want to make up for lost time but she dont' aknowledge me as her mom. What the h**l do I do?

• 4 weeks ago

Additional Details

4 weeks ago

Even her family been telling her to get to know me, shes not cold or nothing, just don't seem to love me.

This is a question that you asked. You are made at your daughter for not wanting a relationship with you.

NEWSFLASH: YOU GAVE HER UP!! YOU DID NOT WANT HER. SO DON'T BE HATING ADOPTEES BECAUSE YOU ARE UPSET AT HOW YOUR DAUGHTER FEELS ABOUT YOU!!

Answer 20

Some of us post regularly here, and you don't post so much. Then you barged in here and disrespected ME and a few other people within a couple answers. It was rude as h**l and ticked me off so I was rude to you.

And then, I read a post today that linked to an older post of yours. About how your adopted daughter wasn't wanting a relationship with you and you were hurt.  

This has made me re-think everything i WAS thinking about you. I was thinking you were a cold hearted poor excuse for a mother who was so HAPPY with her surrender.

But now, after reading your other question, I question how HAPPY you are with your surrender. And I think the opposite now, I think you're hurting, and you're feeling the sting of rejection from someone you love, and its showing, your pain is rightfully showing through your words. I just want to give you a big hug now because I too know the sting, the aching sting of rejection. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I'm sorry she won't have a relationshp with you. It probably has to do with HER sting of rejection too.

to h**l with rejection.

Answer 21

Oh if only I could count the number of times I have been called out. I can't though, the nutter has me blocked.

Move on, it is only the internet.

*** edit

Uhh dude? Jus in case yer not gettin it... I am almost always sarcastic. I am sarcastic to my friends and family and even to myself. If you were offended by any comment I made you could have sent an email. Just ask around, I'm not the ***** you are under the impression I am.

***second edit

I just pinched myself and took a good long look in the mirror, holy crappers batman! I AM human. And I AM grown up, at least my OBC says I am, my size may say differently.

Ya know what else? I am an n-mom too and I have accepted that my son may never want a relationship with me, that is something that comes with the territory. Instead of getting angry with adoptee's I suggest a good therapist trained in adoption related issues.

Answer 22

nyla, i sent you an email regarding this; yet will post it here.

although many will not agree with your stance on adoption (me included), you indeed have a place here. also, as gershom stated, your initial introduction was a bit draconian. you attacked adoptees, and were pretty antagonistic toward anyone who had a contrary view of adoption.

but, many of the people on this board (who you're bashing) DEFENDED YOU when you were attacked yesterday.  did you read those posts???  yet i find it somewhat insulting that you only focused on those posts which counter-attacked you.

i think what you feel as being targeted was from one person who's motivations are beyond comprehension.  this same person sent me an email, and accused me of blowing "smoke" if i didn't return his email in a reasonable time-frame (as if i don't have a life). he contacted me because i defended your right to be here and called his question a violation.  he then listed himself as my fan...*rolls eyes*

also, many on here have been called out in one way or another.  this board gets heated...and the only way to deal with it is to stand you ground, speak your voice, thicken your skin and just make sure you're following the rules of engagement or--as my brother says--get your astroglide and take it...

ps.. you do have a right to your voice, yet not a right to become defensive when you attack first.

ETA: i must concur with isabel's final sentence.