Why are people so against adoption??

Question

People seem to hate the idea of adoption, insulting the process and saying it is like buying a child!! that is so untrue...many people cannot take care of their children so why should that child be denied the right to a proper childhood??

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with adoption. It provides homes for children who otherwise would grow up without one and it helps rescue children from bad situations. However, the problem is with unethical individuals and groups who coerce and literally steal highly desirable babies from women and then sell them off to the highest bidders. That is what's wrong.

Answer 2

I think adoption is lovely! like you said it give less fortunate children the chance to have a normal and probably better childhood. When you adopt a child you become its family and the child is your family. You barely even think of the child as you adopted daughter/son after a while because they become part of your famly. There may not be a spectacular bond where you never even think they aren't you children. But there is always family love and i cant see what is wrong with that.

Answer 3

Adopting, most of the time is an honorable, caring, and sharing of your lives with a child who would otherwise have no family.  Having said that, there are a few celebrities out there that go to third world nations and "pay big dollars" to "adopt" a child.  They pay off the government and family to "Adopt" a child.  That sounds more like human slave trade to me!

Answer 4

I think it is a very respectable thing. All children deserve a loving family.

Answer 5

Adoption is a good thing. Without it where would all these children be. There are many on here that run adoption in the ground. They feel as though since they aren't happy with their experience that all have to be unhappy. Which is not true. I was adopted and I am glad I was. I would not be the person I am today if I hadn't been. I see they haven't answered yet but I can tell they have read your question by all the thumbs down. Some on here think only children in foster care should be adopted an no infant adoptions should happen. Well that's the wrong way to think also (in my opinion), because it doesn't matter what age a child is if it needs a home it should have one. It is an individual choice what age child they want. I will say that there is a lot of things within the system that could be better, but adoption as a whole is a good thing.

Answer 6

I have no idea why people say this. Maybe it is because in America there are instances where large fees are paid to recieve international children.  I, myself, was adopted and while it has it's pro's and con's I know that I would never have it any other way.  My mother, who was told she could not have children feels even more strongly about it.  Without the adoption process, she would never of been able to capture her life long dream of raising a child.  Unfortunately a few bad apples spoil the crop and virtually "sell" children to desperate people who have no other choice if they wish to raise children.  You also have to look at the other side of the picture.  I received a letter from my biological mother, which stated her dream for me to live with the love of a mother and a father with financial security, something at her young age she could not provide.  I used to be extremely angry at her when I was younger, I could never understand how anyone could give up thier child.  Now I am older, I understand.  I think the adoption process is an essential service to soicety and houses thousands of children who may otherwise not have the chance to live.  I hope other people can see through the crooks and see that ligitimate adoption offers solutions and benefits to everyone involved.

Answer 7

I don't think its like buying a child. I think adoption is great. When it comes to Angelina Jolie and Madonna, they did "buy" their children for the sake of headlines and so they would not ruin their model bodies, but the average person is doing it out of kindness

Answer 8

Some women don`t have the ability to get pregnant so I think a child who doesn`t have a home is better off getting adopted by people who want one (Good people of course)

This is just a reason I am stating, I know there are plenty of others.

Adoption is a good thing.

Answer 9

I am 100% FOR adoption I think that a child deserves to be loved. And when the biological parents aren't able to do that much, I believe that adoption is the way to go. =]

Answer 10

The main problems with adoption come from adopting infants especially white infants.  Many white women are bullied out of their children, told they are not worthy, their child will do so much better in another home, etc. etc.  They are also not told of what social services are available (for instance, a gal I know who revoked her baby's adoption was never told of a program that would provide relocation for her to be able to get a decent job). Open adoptions are not legally enforceable and breaking contact by the a-parents is widespread.  

Finally, access of the now adult children to their files is forbidden in many states.  That is just wrong.  My friend notified the agency several times, urging them to notify the a-parents that she had been treated for a virulent breast cancer.  She found her daughter 10 years later.  They are now planning her daughter's funeral as she has end-stage breast cancer that could have been prevented had the agency forwarded this information.  How is that right and proper?

I support adoption for children who do not have homes.  I also support access of adult a-children to all their records.

Answer 11

If they can't take care of their children, they need to walk over to a clinic and get some free condoms....

Answer 12

i didn't know people were against adoption.  i'm for adoption, if the child can't be properly taken care of by the biological parents, or if it is unwanted, etc...

Answer 13

it's pretty sad to leave them in the first place.

and if they were to young or couldnt look after them why did they have them!

well i would adopt a kid so they had a proper nice life!

so you should adopt them! =D

hope i helped x

Answer 14

I am NOT against adoption , but dead set against : ILLEGAL ones . And CLOSED ones. The records should be open for all parties to see at the proper time. When a child is of "learning" age the child must then be told of the adoption. ~ This can n would save all partys involved a whole lot of grief. RS-NY

Answer 15

i think people are not against adoption at all. thats just your misconcieved opinion

Answer 16

There are other people who can state this much better than I can and I hope some of them answer this question. I don't' know anyone who is against ETHICAL adoption. By that I mean finding a family for children who need families. Unfortunately adoption has become an unethical billion dollar industry in the U.S. They dangle children like carrots on sticks in front of people who can not have their own and tell them that they can have a child if they can come up with the ridiculous adoption fees which go in someones pocket. In order to fuel their demand they recruit young unsuspecting girls who are scarred and easily misled, into believing their baby would be better off with someone who had more money.

Ethical adoption is about what is in the best interest of the child. Adoption as it is practiced today is about supply and demand which produces huge profits. It has become human trafficking, and it needs to be stopped. Children are literally stolen and misrepresented as orphans. They are then sold to desperate people who want nothing more than to parent.

That is not adoption, and it's not ethical.

Answer 17

Well I'm not against it, I would love to adopt one day.

every child need a home and a family.

To tell you the truth, I dint know why, i never heard of that before. very intersting and also selfish , how dare someone say its like buying a child. very rude and not true.

Answer 18

I am not against adoption, that is because I have no upsets with adoption. I had a good adoption.

But since comeing on here, I have learned that some adoptions are not as straight forward as what mine was. I have learned some things that I never even knew existed.

But no, I am not against adoption unless it is done in a moral and descent way.

Answer 19

I have never heard the argument against adopting.

The only problem I hear is if adopting a child you gain the Government always in your business.

It may be in best interest of the child, but if the Government wants to control the lead and be in present of peoples business, why adopt and gain the headache.

If I were set on funds, I would adopt a few kids, but due to the empowerment of being forced to adopt the Government as well, i doubt I would adopt a child.

Less people adopt and children lose out because of Government....

Answer 20

Adoption  in theory is awesome. Adoption in practice is appalling. Your talking about an industry that makes $1.4 billion annually selling children. I believe in the idea of adoption  but as long as private agencies are running the show i'll fight it with my dying breath. i have seen and heard some good adoption stories but not even close to enough to balance the bad. my daughter was sold at birth without my consent for $29600 should i laud the system that stole her? Should i say thats ok I know they can't have their own child so here i can have another don't worry about it? To many of you(not all) are forgetting that these children have fathers to. when i see a legal adoption i will applaud the system and whole-heartedly support it but as long as whats going on now continues you got a better chance of shaking hands with god.

    The principals of adoption are great unfortuneatly once you involve money greedy people flock whether to sell or buy is irrelevant. fix the laws and i'll be it's biggest supporter.

Answer 21

I agree with Lori. I doubt anyone is against Ethical Adoption.

The problem is that private adoption agencies have turned into money-making business, which calls for a complete disregard for the best interests of the child and the feelings of the natural parents. When mothers are no longer coerced, defrauded, or unduly influenced to give up their children (and it happens more than you think), when there aren't special tactics used to get a non-consenting natural father out of the picture, when the natural parents are completely informed about not only the legal ramifications of what they are doing, but also the emotional ones (for both them AND their child), and when adoptees have the same rights as any other citizens in regards to their right to their own birth certificates  and heritage, then will I approve of adoption.

It seems that we are getting further away from that these days with more natural parents fighting for their OWN children and films like Juno portraying adoption as fun, easy, and even cool instead of what it truly is - Painful, heartbreaking, and often times a permanant solution to what was only a temporary problem.

Answer 22

no i just believe contraception until the couple are properly ready to bring children into this world, but hay thats in an ideal world which will never exist, so adoption is an alternative to abortion, but im not dead against abortion either, it all depends on the persons individuals cicumstances

Answer 23

I am for it and I know a lot of people who are as well.  When some of the questions are ask on YA that in flame people, I just ignore it and don't respond. Life is tough and sometimes, things don't work they way we would like but that does not mean adoption is bad in all cases

Answer 24

As a birth mother I must say that I met my daughters adoptive parents a few years after the adoption was finalized. I am appalled that I allowed these people to adopt my child as they have 7 others now as well. All these children require special care and they use the money they receive to pay their bills. She does not work and he buys c**p instead of food for these children. I believe that a ton of foster and adoptive parents are just in it for the money. And this is my first hand experience talking. I know there are some good ones out there and yes there are some people who dont want nor need children. But all in all I think that a proper look should be taken into why people really adopt and foster children and perhaps then we can see changes put in place. For the peace of the children, the birth parents and even the agencies and foster care systems who are involved in the entire process. Who's to say that these adoptions really help give the child a better life?

Answer 25

i m in favour of adoption.

generally in india i think every person like blood related own child more than the huminity

Answer 26

I am 15 and I definitely see nothing wrong with adoption because I am definitely going to adopt when I get older. I think that people fail to realize that you're not paying for the babies, but for the services that are being offered to you and the child.

you know what they say, you never miss the water till the well runs dry. So maybe they'll never see the need for people to adopt until it happens to them. Whether it be that they have to put their child up for adoption or can't have babies of their own.

Answer 27

Adoption has its place

For Orphans , abused children, foster children and other situations where the child is in danger

But Adoption does not have a place as a alternative to birth control, and sadly in the USA, and UK which are developed countries it appears to be the main reason for adoption.

I am against adoption as birth control

Answer 28

well it is abit like buyin a child, u have to pay for certain services n so on..

im not against adoption but i dont think people shuld pay anything wen they want to adopt. i would definately think about adoption if i cannot produce my own children.

i think creating and making ur own children is the most beautiful and natural part of life, but at the same time giving a disadvantaged child a chance of life is a very special thing to do in life as well.

Answer 29

Being abandoned by my first mother sucks.  Being adopted didn't make being abandoned suck any less.

Being adopted gave me a roof over my head, food, clothes and an education.  But it didn't give me back the feeling of being a worthy and lovable person, or the feeling of security that I lost when I was relinquished by my mother to a family of strangers.

My adoptive mother wanted a girl.  They adopted me because I'm female, if I'd been a boy, they wouldn't have adopted me.  Is it fair that I lost my whole heritage and mental health just so she could fulfill her desire to have a girl?

I don't know why everyone else is against adoption, but that's why I am.  Hardly anyone ever thinks about it from the adoptee's perspective, and how being abandoned affects a person for the rest of their life.  It's always all about the parents...the "birth" parents and the adoptive parents, what they want, what they need....never about the adoptee.

Answer 30

Unfortunately adoption has gotten a bad name over the years- I personally cannot understand why. My birth mother , almost 50 years ago wrote a beautiful letter to my adoptive parents telling them that she felt that I would have a better home with them, however if for some reason my adoptive parents could not care for me, she would try. My husband and I adopted 2 children, where we met both birth moms- and yes it was hard for them to place their babies in our arms, but both said they loved their children so much that wanted a good home for them. YES THEY SAID THIS-  I counseled women in crisis pregnancies for over 10 years and I can tell you the statistics are overwhelming for adoption over adoption.  For those women who knew for sure that they could not raise their own child, the percentage was SO high on the abortion side because they could not "give up their child".  Before I get a million negative emails and thumbs down here, which I have on this site a lot- I know that there are some people that have had bad experiences with adoption, and for that I am sorry- but overall the adoption process should be a positive one.

Answer 31

I'm actually pretty disturbed looking at this, how many pro-adoption answers have so many thumbs down... that's a bit of a shocker to me...

I'm totally pro-choice, and I'm okay with the thought of adopting a kid - AFTER I have one with my wife.  I wish that more people would use contraception, and I also wish that it was easier for fit parents to adopt a child... I've had a couple friends who adopted who had to jump through absurd hoops to adopt their kid.

But after the kid is here, I think it's great if they can be put with a loving family, rather than being a ward of the state and bouncing around from foster home to foster home.  Why would people NOT be okay with that??