Why are people so against younger mums?

Question

Hi x

I am Esmee i am 20 and have 4 children.

My children are:

Faith (5)

Hope (4)

Destiny (3)

Trinity (2)

I am also 20 wkks with my 5th child - another girl!

Faith and Hope have the same Dad but he left me when he found another woman, we were engaged at the time and I thought things were ok but he had an affair!

Destiny and Trinity and the baby all have the same dad and I am curently engaged to him. Jase has accepted Faith and Hope as his own.

I do work as a Beautician and earn a resonable amount, Jase works as a Bouncer and earns quite a good amount. So we are not on benifets.

We curently live in a 4 bed detatched in Reading (UK). And we have no morgage on the house.

But still when i walk down the road with my kids and Jase i get lots of rude looks as Faith and Hope are half african-american. And me and Jase are both white.

I think i have made a good start in life - But why still all the rude stares when they know nothing!

Thanks

Esmee x

Answer 1

People are judgmental and either feel that you're some sort of w***e or getting rich off welfare.  I owned a house outright at 21 years old - without any handouts, and when I walked around with my kids in tow, I'd get the same reactions.  People are jerks and we all get judged no matter how we choose to live our lives.  I guess it's part of the downfall of humanity.

Answer 2

I am going to be completely honest with you. I have nothing against younger mothers because it shows that they have a heart not to do abortion. If it came to the point that I got pregnant young, I would NEVER do abortion. I usually have more respect for younger moms, who keep their kids. People look at you, because they think nasty things. My best friend, who is my age (17), she just had a baby a month ago and everyone just says things about her especially when she goes out with me, or whoever and brings her baby. People think that "Oh, shes a s**t, or an easy chick." Stuff like that runs through their heads. Also, they would think your probably not responsible enough to raise your child, cause of being 20. Let me say something about that too. NO WOMAN  is ready to be a mother at a certain age. Women has children in their 30's and aren't even good moms. Its all about common sense, and when you hold your child in your hand, Motherhood is there. You shouldn't care about what these people think. Focus on your up-coming daughter (Congrats!), and your family.

Answer 3

OK what i can gather you want applauding for being nothing more than a baby making machine ....i love the way you 'state' you have no mortgage ..does the child benefit pay it off for ya !

Answer 4

Wow, 4 kids and 1 more to come. I consider that to be a blessing. I think children are what makes you trully successful in life, not money or a career. Since women got their rights they've been trying to take man/s place by being like them. Alas, it's not easy to have a career and be a good mom. So alot of women in developed countries  have their first child after the age of 30 (this increases the risk of getting breast cancer by the way), while in underdeveloped countries women have kids very early on in life because as a family it is much easier for them to live their lives and survive.

You shouldn't care about what other people think. They certainly don't know better.

Oh and good luck with your fifth child, hope she's born healthy, beautiful, and smart.

Answer 5

Thats how stupid people are, always judging. And I have two boys and am pregnant with hopefully a girl. the boys have the same dad and this baby has a different dad but we been knowing each other for 8 years and been 2gether for 4 so.. By the way I love your daughters names and I'm happy you found a good man who is willing to be there and take responsibility

Answer 6

I'm not familiar with the UK. But, I had my children starting at 19 and had 3 by 21. I went on to have another 3 years later. And let me tell you what, Now that they are all grown and out of the house, I don't know how I could of done it at a later age. I needed that energy of my youth to raise them.

Don't be intimidated by others who seem that they have become your judge and jury! Your loving children and caring for them. No matter who the father, your love needs to be never ending and unconditional to these little ones.

Answer 7

hi there, well i think ppl are against younger moms bkuz they think that they aren't going to be good mothers... I'm 17 n pregnant... I dont regret it :-) ppl should know that age doesnt determine how good of a mother a women or girl is...  No women is ready when it comes to having a baby... They learn things once they have the baby and they know more after their 2nd baby comes along....

U had ur 1st. Child at a young age too... But I dont doubt your a great mom to your kids... Keep your head up momma, n dont look back. Ppl can talk all they want... U can't ever please every one, so just please ur self and your family bkuz that's all that counts n marters...

Good look with everything!!!

Answer 8

Because at 15 years old, you are still not mature or responsible enough.

Answer 9

u r doing very well for a young moms at 20 wt almost 5 kids........................kudos ,girl.............young moms are tagged bcos the society of today likes to generalize pple...........most young moms bcos that due to some mistakes in thier life so the society is generalizing on the fact that young moms are irresponsible set of pple.

is so part of the world, the men deprive pleasure from defining younr girls and getting them pregnant while in the developed world,its almost a sin 4 a i4 yrs old girl to b carrying a baby..................

esmee,this is the world we living in.........i wish there is an NGO that fights against this generalizatn.....................

i wish u the best in life....................good luck with ur pregnancy............

Answer 10

I wish that people would respect young-mothers more. It is so tough to do what we do every day and have a smile on our faces. I feel like having a child is the best gift in life, and yeah I might have been young but I wouldn't take it back for anything in the world. I love my son DeShawn and he has made my life amazing.

Answer 11

Ignorance!!

People automatically think, young Mum, benefits, umpteen different Dads, more kids for more benefits.

My friend was very young, had 4 kids by the same Dad, she is now on her second marriage and constantly gets asked if her kids are all by the same Dad!!

Unfortunately we cannot change some peoples ignorance towards young Mums and mixed race children even though neither is a rarity!!!

Answer 12

Why do you feel the need to ask this again ..didn't you get the answer you wanted the first time ?

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 13

It sounds like you are trying to make a good life for your kids. Which I think is more than some people. As you very well know raising kids is rough, and people know that. It's hard at any age, especially when you are younger. I know when I was in high school it was almost cool to be pregnant so people just did it, and then neglected their babies. People just assume you don't know how to take care of them. Try not to take and personally and do your best. It's all you can do.

Answer 14

its ur life if u had a whole school bus of kids as long as u can take care of them.... its ur life and it sound like ur setting a good example for ur kids u go mother of 5 u sound like a good woman.... un like some of these young girls who leave there kids with everybody else keep doing u and ur kids will thank u in the end.....congrad on baby number 5... and i like the names i think i might have ti still one for my baby when i find out the s*x.......