Why are people so critical of budget brides? ?

Question

Normally I'm very respectful of others choices to spend whatever they want on one of the most special days in their life. However, I've noticed that on this board there are alot of people who demean others who choose to have a wedding on a budget. I myself spent less then $1,000 on my wedding. I had a horrible wedding day and honeymoon, but I can't control the actions of others. To those of you who are belittling others for choosing to have a budget wedding please be considerate. These are extremely tough times that we live in. Those of you who choose to be critical please use kindness. Were all brides or brides to be. EVERYONE deserves to treated fairly.

Answer 1

Every bride is on a budget -- they just have different budgets. Many (even most) whose budgets are ten or fifty times what yours was, spend a fair amount of their budget on indulging in bad taste, fads and artificiality; and slavishly following the dictates of "the wedding industry".

I'm so sad to hear you had a horrible wedding day and honeymoon! I ***hope*** it may be by far the unhappiest day of the rest of your life. I actually hope that for every bride, no matter how happy their wedding day was -- because it is the married life to follow that is actually important. Perhaps, twenty years from now, your horrible wedding day may seem beautiful in retrospect because of the long and happy marriage that it initiated!

Answer 2

Cupcake's opinion is mine, too, I have not seen anyone really cut down a bride on a budget, just the methods the brides'  use to budget with. Like the zirconia ring, the bride obviously did not know she was about to get a fake ring. There is no problem if the bride and the groom agree and decide to save money there.

I have answered budget bride questions many times, never got a best answer for one, hmmmm, maybe everybody's idea of a budget is not the same.LOL,  I knew that already.  

Answer 3

The criticisms I see aren't that the wedding is on a budget.  It's using "we're on a budget"or "we're paying for the wedding ourselves" as an excuse to be rude to guests, such as inviting people to the ceremony or shower but not the reception, to excluding guests' live-in significant others, to having a cash bar (you provide your guests what you can afford, but you never ask them to pay for their own refreshments), and on and on.  It's not the amount of the budget that's being criticized--it's using that as an excuse to be a poor or selfish host/ess.

Answer 4

I am really sorry that you had a horrible wedding day and honeymoon.  I hope that things are okay now.  I was also a budget bride because my husband and I paid for our own wedding.  Don't worry about what others think.  I think it is ridiculous how much some people spend on weddings.  It makes me sick when I hear how much celebrities spend on their weddings.  You did what you could afford.  It isn't about how much the wedding cost but that on your wedding day you exchange vows and become husband and wife hopefully for the rest of your life.  These are tough times.  My cousin got married on a beach with just himself and his bride and I think that is so romantic.  I think it is so dumb to spend a lot on a wedding.  I would rather put all that money towards a home.

Answer 5

In the event I ever get married (engaged now) I will have a super tight budget. I think the answer to your question is that majority of the people on here probably watch Bridezillas, Platinum Weddings, and Rich Bride Poor Bride - or similar shows and believe that weddings cost on average $20,000-$40,000 and that people have those kinds of budgets when in all actuality, I'd be willing to bet that majority of weddings have less than $10,000 budgets, with majority being under $5,000. I'd never spend $5,000 on a wedding, much less 40 grand. Furthermore, a lot of the "brides" on here are 15-17 year olds planning weddings that'll never exist.  

Answer 6

My Fiancee and I are on a very tight budget. We agree that instead of worrying about "the special day" lets make everyday special. Honor our marriage everyday and that includes not blowing all the money we have on one day. Its a special day, but just a day. I am going to enjoy trying to show her how much I love her everyday for the rest of my life.

I think couples should use that money for a house or a nest egg or something.

Answer 7

I have definitely noticed what you're talking about. If someones asks about cubic zirconia, a poster might say, "If you guys can't afford to get a real diamond, you can't afford to be married." (Stupid, since the household expenses are more easily tackled by two incomes as opposed to one...) If someone asks about paper plates, they'll be called tacky. But like iloveweddings pointed out, the prejudice goes both ways. I have seen brides ripped apart for what they're spending. Do I think some of these brides are being excessive, even if they DO have money to burn? Sure, and it's not something I'd ever do. But as you said, they are brides to be also, and also deserve to be treated with respect.

Don't let the prejudice get you down. Yahoo Answers has some great people on it and some awful people on it. And people are online, so not only do they feel safer acting rudely sometimes, but many of them aren't even real. I'm thoroughly convinced that a lot of the snobbiest are unhappy people who are have found a way to reinvent themselves via the internet.

Answer 8

Hi Leslie:

NOT ME!  I love to help brides on a budget.  Although I don't read and answer every question, I have not really noticed anyone being critical of brides "on a budget."  What I HAVE noticed are those who say, they are spending $30K....and ask a question, only to be ripped on for spending that kind of money on a wedding.  But, like I said, I don't read and answer every question.

Perhaps what you are reading is when someone wants to "do favors...but only spend $1/each."  To these, I always say....don't even bother...people don't care!  Or, to the bride who wants to have "something unique, fun, look expensive.....but I can only spend $500."  These are the types of questions that are hard.  I am never mean....I always try to offer a different approach.  I say, "why not host an elegant dessert reception instead of the sit down dinner?"  I always try to offer SOLUTIONS and alternatives, but I am never mean!

Whatever couples want to spend...be it $500 or $50K is really no one else's business!

Answer 9

I applaud anyone who can host a wedding on a small budget. I applaud their imagination and creativity as well. Where I have issue is when they try to undercut the guest by providing a cash bar or other impolite features like this where guests are asked to bring the party or pay for any aspect of the party. If you are going to host a reception, and expect gifts, then HOST one. I think that is where the negativity comes from.