Why are people so critical of other peoples wedding plans?

Question

I just deleted a comment I made on theknot.com because people were so rude. Two different people told me we (my fiance and I) were retarded. Another girl said our wedding will be pointless because of the way we're planning it. I know we're not doing things by the book, and a lot of people are more in favor of tradtion, but why be a b***h? I think a lot of the tradtional things are pointless but I don't go responding to questions or messaging people saying they're stupid for doing them.

It was a question about wedding photography. Since our wedding is the way it is, we're not hiring a photographer. Instead we're using a collection of different types of cameras, disposable, digital, polaroid, pinhole etc. Someone asked about cheaper alternatives to hiring a pro and that's what I said and seems like everyone went nuts!

Answer 1

Regrets!  People respond strongly to emotions and regret is one of the biggies.

If you had suggested no photographer 10 (even 5) yrs ago, I would have thought you were crazy.  However, with the advances in digital camera technology, specialty photo paper and printers/commercial printing, I know many professional wedding photographers who have switched to product photography (and even that's dwindling).  Add readily available photography software to this list and it's just about impossible to s***w up.

Unfortunately I got married 24 yrs ago.  Our photographer that cost $500 back then, got drunk at the reception, lost the rolls of films, got himself fired, took the company over 9 months to find...and the pictures weren't great!

Answer 2

Was this on the planning and etiquette section? Those brides are notoriously just rude.

Answer 3

Forget The Knot message boards.  I've looked at them before, but never posted on there because reading them just pissed me off.  A lot of the girls on there are so catty it's not funny.  I prefer the ladies here on Yahoo Answers Weddings any day over them.

Answer 4

It's your day and should be a reflection of you and your fiance.  People can be critical of what they don't ubderstand.  Just enjoy your day!

Answer 5

Honey it is a great idea. I too am getting married and keeping some tradition but I think there are some things priced outrageously. I'm having an intimate wedding of 30 guests and think it is pointless to spend $4500. on photography, or have people following my every move. Why would I want 200-250 pics if I'm only having 30 guest. It is your wedding, plan it and have it your way. A wedding is something personal and a refection of the couple. Don't listen to what others say.

Answer 6

s***w them they are just so set in their mind set they don't think any other way. Congrats and Good Luck on your wedding!

Answer 7

that sounds like a GREAT answer. most wedding stuff is more symbolic than anything. i.e. the cake feeding u promise in ur vows to take care of each other so then at the reception u start off by feeding each other. next wedding u go to try looking at it from that point of view. bridesmaids are supposed to look like the bride to ward off evil spirits,etc.  congrats & good luck with ur wedding!!!

Answer 8

People are critical because they can hide behind their online identity. Would they say something like that to someone's face? Most likely not! But when online, people turn into b******!!

To most people, having a profession photographer is one of the most important parts to their wedding, so it was easy to pick a fight with you about being different...........Enjoy your wedding and ignore the jerks!!  

Answer 9

Do you and forget others!

The knot is a very tradion wedding board to, be prepared for anything when dealing with the knot!

Answer 10

i think many brides think THEIR wedding is perfect and so anyone who has anything out of THEIR norm is just plain wrong, wacky, cheap etc etc

i on the other hand, am not a traditionalist either and i think someone who chooses, in this case, to do their photographs the way you are, is awesome, you are going to end up with, wonderful shots, some posed for and some candid, and probably some real funny spur of the moment shots, instead of you in a puffy white dress looking like you wish you were somewhere else

you are having a wedding that is personal to both of you, not what a million magaizines depict you SHOULD have

you will have a happy day and a lifetime of happiness, your wedding is what every couples day should be,

i wish you the very best of luck

Answer 11

LMAO! I dont think that question will spark too much debate on these boards lol.  But i have posted some questions were everyone is so positive and then i had a lady actually tell me that she hopes my fiance doesnt show up to the wedding! There are some bitter ladies on here but for the most part its better here lol

Answer 12

I have heard that theknot.com can be that way and there are a lot of b****es over there. Try http://indiebride.com/ -- they have a message board and their goal is to help you avoid the WIC -- wedding industrial complex that seeks to part you with your money by INFORMING you of what you HAVE to HAVE to make your wedding not pointless.

How rude. I am sorry that happened to you but you are not the first sweet woman to experience the bitchiness that is The Knot.  I do like their photos of Real Weddings especially the offbeat ones.

Anyway...congratulations on your upcoming marriage and I am sure your wedding will be GORGEOUS and very memorable.

Answer 13

people on theknot.com were rude to your photographer decision because that site is full of the typical stereotype brides... they can't break tradition if their lives were on the line.

Answer 14

Well, anytime you posted something for comment on a public forum, you are opening yourself up to this type of response.  Is it nice?  No, but most people aren't nice.

Why are people so critical?  Well, you are asking them for their advice.  So, they are going to let you know what they think.  I'm sorry it wasn't to your liking,  but that's what's great about the Internet.  You get honesty.   It might not be correct honest or good advice, but it's that person's true feelings.  

As for your idea.  I have to say I think you are doing yourself a disservice.  Professional pictures are a wonderful keepsake and something much more elegant than anything that comes from a digital camera or a disposable one.  They are an investment.  In 50 years, you might not have your dress or your flowers, but you'll have your pictures.  So, it's money well spent.

EDIT: I feel you are attacking my opinion on getting a photographer. So, really, are you any better than those women?  Not really. I simple stated why I believe a photographer was a good idea,  but you made a little joke about my remark.  So, really, it's no better. Why not just explain yourself and thank you for my explaination and opinion on why I believe hiring someone is worth while.  If my opinion doesn't work for you, move on.

But, no, I was NOT  on The Knot board.

EDIT:  Wait, I really don't get it. Why do I belong there. I felt you were doing what those women did.  Seriously, if you miss understood, correct me.  Don't joke with it.  You don't realize that I felt the same as you.  You felt those women misunderstood you, but then I state my opinion.   Again, if you don't like it. OK, but I'm just letting you know that maybe you can re-think so things.  I never said you were stupid or retarded.   So, why do I belong there?   you didn't like my advice?  That's really the pot calling the kettle black?

Answer 15

This is something I see a lot on every wedding website I go to. I think YouWish25 missed the point here. You weren't even asking a question you were answering and people started attacking EVERY aspect of your wedding day. I'm a member of that wesbite and I did see the post you're talking about I think it's been removed because I can't find it to show these people the things they were saying. It wasn't intelligent advise, it was full on immaturity. I feel bad for the girl who even asked that question because it was completely ignored by people telling Capt.Daisy how boring and stupid her wedding is going to be without dancing and a tradtional ceremony.

I understand about asking people for their advise. A majority of them time though thats not what happens. People like that and people like YouWish25 don't even bother to read the posts. If YouWish read the post she'd know you were answering not asking and you got attacked for no real reason.

Ignore what people say. I think weddings bring out b**tchzilla in all of us at some point. Do it your way, you'll still get your photos that will last just as long as people hiring a pro. I have photo albums full of my grandparents old pinhole camera photos. Still crisp and clear. I think that's a cool idea. My brother is taking ours, not a professional at all but he ahs the best digital camera.  You don't need any of that other stuff either.