Why are people so cruel to fat/obese people?

Question

Ive been overweight/obese all my life. Im 18, female, 5'5 and weigh 330 lbs. Ive tried every diet/exercise under the sun and sure I lose weight for a bit then it just stops and no matter how hard I cit down down, nothing helps. Then I eventually gain that weight right back. I have medica problems which cause losing weight to be alot harder but still... I hate that my whole life has to focus on my weight.

Before I got into school I was convinced everything would be ok, because I was caring and kind twords everyone and hated the thought of hurting someones feelings. I guess I had thought that was enough, I was so wrong.

Granted.. in elementary school everything was decent and I rarely had any problems but the first week I got into middle school everything whipped around and next thing I knew, I was left fighting back tears because of the various jokes and names that came after me. I remember once in 8th grade art class a boy at my table kept jabbing my with something, calling me names, and laughing. Almost 25 other kids in the class and a teacher and not one ever bothered to say 'dont do that, whats wrong with you' or 'stop being so mean' I ended up leaving the class and crying my eyes out in the hall until busses came.

My issues in middle school caused me to be extremely paranoid and self concious so as you may assume high school wasnt great either. I only made it a year before my parents took me out and decided to homeschool me. I got my GED with high honers and now Im going to be getting my license and want to get a job.

Im being held back again though. All the crude comments in school, mixed with the looks and even worse comments from random peope in stores or on the street have caused me to think 'You cant get a job. People will see you and make fun of you because you dont look the way you should, no matter how 'nice' you are'

This is more of a rant than a question and Im sorry for it... but I truely dont understand. What happened to 'Dont judge a book by its cover'?

Answer 1

I think that, even though it isn't always true, most people think that if someone is overweight it's that person's fault.  Therefor, for some reason it's not as bad to mock that person.  I don't really think it's fair but, I think that's the reason.

Answer 2

"Ive tried every diet/exercise under the sun and sure I lose weight for a bit then it just stops and no matter how hard I cit down down, nothing helps"

You've failed to learn the difference between trying and DOING.

If you get set up with the right doctor, losing weight is a matter of substituting foods so you're not deprived, exercising and staying the course.

You'll hit plateaus, like everyone else.  The right program will help you get past them.

The reality is that the world isn't going to change to accomodate your failures - if you want your life to improve, stop complaining and do something about it.

Answer 3

I'm sure most of us have a hard knocks story....where we were made fun of for being "different" or some for just being average.  Kids make fun of you for wearing glasses, for being too big, too thin, small b***s, big b***s, little butt, big butt, poor, rich, I mean, the list can go on and on.  It all depends on you.  If you think lowly of yourself, it will show.  Sure, people are going to make fun or stare or be rude no matter how confident you are...but not everyone.  If you let it get to you, you will forever be a recluse, and the longer you stay locked away without much contact, you become more self aware, even paranoid.  You aren't happy with your body, why should you expect others, strangers, to be excited about you.  I don't mean to be rude...but you just need to learn how to deal with it.  I'm confident that there are nice people out there...you are just missing out on them because you are noticing all the negatives.  Maybe it will help you to see a therapist, someone to talk to about your low self esteem/worth.  

Answer 4

im so sorry about that i really dont know why people do that

but u hang in there

Answer 5

Because as sad as it sounds most of the people out there are all about how you look. There's many special people out there that can make you feel like your're the best person in the world and it just takes patience to find them. When I was in middle school I was kinda chubby and people probably made fun of me - but what did I care. I honestly think think there's enough people out there that will love you for who you are; and not for what you look like that made me feel as if i couldn't care less. Also, before high school I made changes and lost the weight. But the point is, there's always going to people that look better than you and look worse than you - you just gotta learn to cope with it all and keep your head high. Don't let it show that it hurts you - or people will probably insult you more.

And about what I said before, the whole someone looks worse and someone looks better thing just be fortunate you are who you are because trust me - right now when they're younger and in college and stuff like that they might just get all the attention. But 10-20 years from now whenever they decide maybe its time to grow up - you know you already did.

Good Luck, and don't let other people get ya down! :)

Answer 6

there will always show the perfect picture but being cruel will always be around who always look different then the picture ..

to lose weight you need to motivate yourself .. but saying "skipping a day wont hurt" is not helping you need to do it every day!!

having a friend or a family member help you lose weight is a great way to stay focus or go to the gym and be determine to lose some weight..

diet is also important snacks should be watch carefully avoid eating junk food, chips , soda etc....  , but having banana's or different kind of fruits should help you a lot ..

Push your self beyond your limit making your self proud that you are seeing results .....  running should help lose weight quick with the diet..

have a plan and a goal , if you cant jog a mile , let that be your first  goal...

Quote "i hate that my whole life has to focus on my weight."

then dont let be,  get a hobby , get a pet , hang out with family , friends , something besides loosing weight  ...

and dont worry about those people, one thing that helped me ..that i know for a fact that i wont see them in my life anymore ...

Answer 7

People are cruel.

Part of the reason is they fear being where you are.  They know it wouldnt take much, and they are terrified of it.  If you ever pay a lot of attention to people who are cruel to anyone else for anything..  its usually because they either have a fear of it, a fear of being it, or know they are it.  (think the homophobes who are just a lil too defensive about being straight)

Everyone judges people, everyone, including yourself.  I sincerly doubt you judge people on weight, but I bet there is something that you have judged someone else for.  Its human nature.

No, diet and exercise are not enough.  In dealing with my own weight, I have realized a few things.  

Almost all obesity is tied to depression.  Either the depression caused the obesity, or the obesity caused the depression.  You need to feel better about yourself before you can make the kind of lifestyle changes that are needed to be healthy.  You cant have a healthy body if your mind is not healthy.  You might want to consider antibiotics.  You should definatly consider a psychologist, or an addiction counselor or a support group.  Get a make over.  Only wear clothes that you like and feel you look good in.  Yeah, I realize that may mean that you only wear the same 2-3 outfits, but if it makes you feel good, then who cares?  Through out all the clothes that you cant stand to wear, the ones that you feel unattractive in.  Quit buying clothes simply because they fit (which is a pitfall I have.  Even though there is a much larger selection today than 10 years ago, they just dont make a whole lot of clothes for plus size people.  So I sometimes will buy it simply because it does fit, and it fits properly.  But, ugh, its ugly and looks like someone twice my age should be wearing it, and I feel bad about myself when I wear it)

I also think through my psychological studies that most obese people are addicted to eating.  The same way an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol, a smoker to cigs, coke head to cocain.  Now, almost everyone will agree with that, but how many programs are there that address obesity as an addiction?  NONE, atleast, none that i have seen.  Actually....   I think there is an Eater's Anon, but there isnt one in my area.

I think once society as a whole starts regarding obesity as mental illness, as an addiction, we may be able to help people fight it better.  

I have beaten other addictions like smoking.  But how do you beat an addiction when you cant stay away from it?  Every meal for me is like giving an alcoholic another shot of liquer.  I ask my family to help me. Theyll remind me that I said I was going to do xx behavior (such as eat too many snacks or whatever) but they never stop me the way someone would stop an alcoholic who was drying out from drinking.

And, at the end of the day, you have to realize that you and only you are to blame for your weight.  Its incredably easy to blame the food manufacterers or McDs or whomever else for your problem.  In fact, if you go over to Diet and Exercise, that board is FULL of obese people blaming their obesity on this or that or something else.  You have to quit doing that.  You and you alone are responsible for what and how you eat and exercise.

Weight Watchers is the longest running and most proven program, primarily because of its psychological focus on helping you make the necessary life style changes and support group atmosphere.  But it will take a long time.  At 300 pounds, to loose weight in a healthy way (using any program) it would take you a min of a year and a half to get down to 150.  So its a long term process, not something that happens over night.

And as far as surgery goes....  Out of the 10 people I know whom have had the various surgies over the years, only 1 has kept the weight off, and that was because he has severe adult onset diabetes.  He had to make a rapid change fast or die very rapidly.