Why are people so negitive about big familys?

Question

I have one year old twin girls Autumn Rose and Lyla Lisbeth. I am now having tripletss. I am totally up for the task. We did invetro and were planning for another set of multiples. Why are people so negitive about us? Why do people think we wont be able to raise them?

Answer 1

They are negative because they couldn't do it...and if  you feel you will be able to raise them then you will...I always say to everyone that asks me...it don't take a lot of money to raise children..it takes alot of love and patience..so ignore them...they have no clue but I understand...good luck and congrats!!

Answer 2

Just guessing, but population control, bad economic times and the preponderance of welfare mothers could be their starting points for the argument that too many children are a burden to not just you, but society as well.

Answer 3

I personally don't have a problem with fertility drugs if you are perfectly willing and able (financially, mentally, physically and emotionally) to care for your children.  

In Canada, there has been a debate about the use of fertility drugs due to the high probability of multiples.  A couple here had sextuplets or something, and all babies ended up in the hospital very sick.  Due to religious beliefs, the parents would not permit medical intervention.  I believe the government stepped in, but I can't remember what happened.  So the reason that some people are against it is because in Canada, where medical care is "free", medical expenses for these babies is astronomical and the government (i.e. taxpayers) is footing the bill.

Nothing wrong with large families, I think it's great.  Personally, I could not imagine looking after 5 children!  good luck, and enjoy every one of them!

Edit - I also think that right now, people don't want to focus on families or children, they want to focus on themselves and their careers.  I guess I'm included in that, we have only one baby but are trying for #2.  And that is enough for me (I think).

Answer 4

Because some people aren't smart enough to handle and know when enough is enough and keep having them and can't control them.  If you can have a big family and love them and care for them and support them, have more!  

I've always wanted a REALLY big family, but we'll see how each addition goes.  We would like 4.  I really don't know how I'd be able to handle twins then triplets.  I'd be going nuts, but some people are born to do it and enjoy doing it.  If you're that person, than bless you!  I truly think big families are great.  I love the Duggars and I love Jon & Kate + 8.  I really don't know how they do it, but all the power to them!

Answer 5

WOW! First congratulations!!

Look dont worry about what other ppl might say.

They dont understand what is to come from and have big families! I come from a big family myself, though I only have 1 bb now, I'd love to have more. Some ppl feel bad because they stopped after 1! or they think having more than 2 kids is crazy! You are going to do a great job, if you have planned this you must really love it. And motherhood is just wonderful!

Good luck with the triplets!  And by the way your daughters names are very cute :)

Answer 6

If you can pay for them and manage them without government assistance, and without annoying and inconveniencing those around you (family obligated to serve as caregivers, people in restaurants and public places, etc), then more power to you.  Most people can't, and frankly, it bugs me that my taxes are buying milk and diapers for people who have no business having babies.

If that's not you, then don't sweat it.

Answer 7

Honey people are against it because there is no need to have so many children now. This is not Little House on the  Prairie, you don't need extra farm hands. Why the h**l do you want so many kids? Are you not paying attention to the world around you? We are overpopulated, our resources are being depleated, there is hardly room left to build and what space is left is being devoloped  to create more housing for the growing populations. On top of that, MOST people who have a lot of kids are socially, mentally and emotionally irresponsible. Having a large number of children in modern times is not the same as having a lot of kids, even a hundred years ago.  Educated people realize that and why. I shouldn't have to explain it to you or anyone else why that is an ignorant thing to do.  Just because you love kids, dosen't mean you have to have oodles of children.  And too me when I hear of someone that keeps having baby after baby, it only tells me one thing. You are not actually interested in children or having a large family, you just have a baby obsession. A lot of women have that. They just want infants all the time, they don't want them anymore once they start growing into a person and talking and crawling and gaining their own personality and becoming difficult to handle. So what do you do? You ignore the kids you have that are getting older, and then have another baby and coddle and pander it while it is cute, helpless, little and totally dependant on you and dosen't have much of a character yet.  In other words, you are just a white trash baby mama, kid making machine. What purpose do you think your kids are going to serve? What will they do in twenty years? Go to college..with what money? You won't have any money to send them. Get a job..where? They won't have the education and skills to find a job and most likely THEY will start having kids when they are in their late teens anyway. How are going to find the time to raise them to know anything different than what you are showing them? When did you start having kids? I imagine in your late teens early adulthood right? I bet you barely graduated high school, probably have not attended college and clearly you cannot work because you have too many kids. What does your kids father do? Does he work? Where could he possibly work that he makes enough to raise that many kids and support you and him? I bet you collect some government benefits and you think that is okay, because you don't realize that wel-fare programs are meant to be a HAND UP until you can get on your feet. They are not  meant to support you and care for your kids forever because you and your sperm donor can't do it yourselves. I am sure you have all these pipe dreams about going to college and getting some high paying job and blah blah blah..well I can tell you right now ,that is impossible when you have 2041029840129340234 kids running around and suckeling at your **** ok? How will you? Someone else is going to raise and watch your kids? Is that how? Well if that is the case..then you aren't raising them, and everyone IS right. You can't rasie them.  In my line of work I see this constantly, how would you be any different? Unless you are rich..and not just wealthy...I mean RICH. There is NO way you can raise that many kids...and even if you are rich...like I said, you will just pass them off to babysiters and nannies anyway.   It boils to this, society does not want to take care of YOUR children and YOU and your boyfriend/husband/fiance/baby daddy/sperm donor...ok? Why do you think it is okay that you pop out as many kids as you want and then let tax players front the bill for you? And for the REST of you and your kids lives? You think you owed that or entitled to that? That isn't a "right" sweetie. That isn't what the sytem was set up for, so people like you who like cute little babies can have one after another, then when they become toddlers forget about them and have more babies. You offend me that you even have to ask why people around you are so resistant and negative about that. You  didn't mention AT ALL in your question about how you plan to take care of them...there is more to raising them , than just giving birth to them okay?

Answer 8

Congratulations on your triplets! I also love the names of your twins... they're very pretty. =)

People speak that way about my family too... I am one of 7, and people like to say, "Tell your parents to use condoms," or my favorite, "Same father?!" (yes, same father.) People don't respect the fact that some families actually want to take care of lots of children... and they take it out on them because they know they couldn't do it themselves.

Answer 9

i personally don't agree with this, and i'm just playing devil's advocate. but maybe they're silently thinking "oh now that she has so many kids, she won't be able to handle it and she'll be asking us for help with the kids and with money. it's her problem, and she should be the one to fix it." people spend too much time in their day worrying about everyone else. don't let them get to you. you're going to be an AWESOME mom for both sets of multiples.

and if you need a pick-me-up, watch "john and kate plus 8" on TLC. if they can do it, you can too =)

Answer 10

just keep in mind that it is only fair to do for all what you do for one... meaning when one turns 16 and you buy tham a car... plan on buying all a car at age 16... when one wants to go to college be prepared to pay for all to go to college... when one wants to buy a house and needs help be prepared to help all...