Why are people so shallow?

Question

i used to be a very skinny, average looking child. and i got almost no attention or special treatment from elders, teachers, relatives, siblings, etc. i used to notice how all the pretty kids in my class and family got lots of love and attention from people. anyway, i didn't expect any attention either. when i turned 16, i suddenly became very attractive. by 18 i started wearing a little makeup and became even prettier. all of a sudden i started getting loads of attention and compliments from everyone. i became very self centered. i worked very hard on trying to look pretty. because i enjoyed the compliments. i enjoyed the compliments. specially when my mom, sister and friends told me all the time that i'm gorgeous. now i'm 29 and since last year i've gained extra 15 lbs of weight and don't have time to take care of my looks the way i used to. now my sister, mom and friends make fun of me. my friends who wanted to hang out with me all the time, now don't have time for me all of a sudden. my sister is specially very rude and gives mean remarks about my looks. my mom also keeps saying that i should take care of myself and i look ugly. why are people so hung up on looks? i know i'm not. i don't judge people for how they look. i like people for who they are inside and i wish people liked the same about me. i know i've become a more sensible, conscientious, caring girl than before. i'm less self centered and spend most of the time caring about my home and hubby. what should i do? how should i deal with my merciless mom, sister and friends?

Answer 1

People have a tendency to judge people by the way they look instead of judging them for more important features such as personality  This is really strange that your own family would be making fun of you based on appearance, ignore your families comments and tend to aviod them if they continue with their verbal assult.  It may be coming from jealousy?  They might be making fun of you to cover up their insecurities.

Answer 2

i read an article in psychology today about "why men like blondes".. basically, why men are attracted to pretty women.. it said something about how looks are the first instinct they have in choosing a 'mate'.. like, if this woman's pretty/healthy, i'll have pretty/healthy children.. it's totally lame and superficial, but we're humans and that's how humans are..

babies also tend to respond better to pretty people.. my mom says that it's because of the aura that you put off, why babies like you.. and maybe it's the same [on a deep level] with everyone else.. if you're confident, you put off a confident aura, and people want to be around you..

in the end, you should care about YOU, and what YOU think.. of course, your hubby, too, but from what little info you gave me, i don't think he has a problem as long as you're still you.. i know that it's hard -- i'm 19, and my dad's given me h**l about my weight since i was 8 years old.. really messed with my psyche, and my weight has fluctuated ever since..

maybe you should talk to your family about how their teasing makes you feel.. it may or may not make a difference, but you can try.. and if they don't stop, stop talking to them for a while.. however long you think it would help.. i know that family is supposed to be your anchor, your solid ground, but if your anchor is hurting you, it may not be as sturdy as you once thought..

it's wonderful that you believe in what people's insides are like over their outsides.. just keep in mind that you are a wonderful person, and that other people will see you that way if YOU see YOURSELF that way.. if all else fails, do some yoga or pilates.. it's a healthy lifestyle to get into, and it helps center your emotional well-being and your mind.

i hope that everything turns out for the best..

Answer 3

Some of them are superficial due to the environment , mentality and media they were brought up on but others are truly concerned about your appearance and how you look and your health combined ... it's natural and human nature and that is reality ... quite frankly anybody whom says that appearance does not matter is lying likewise those whom state that appearance is all that counts are lying as well ... I believe that there has to be some balance ... I know some slightly overweight friends whom take care of themselves and others naturally skinny and everybody loves them

These may help you understand ( thought the first was directed toward another group of women )

Apb http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA5VG5KfG...

You http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu3DL_yAZ...