Why are "some" men so nonchalant about getting a woman pregnant?

Question

I've been with my bf for about 7 months and him and I were having a discussion about s*x. I told him that I wasn't ready and that it was important to look at the consequences if we were to do it. I asked him what would he do if i got pregnant and his response was nothing. He said he'd be worried but would still be excited about it.

There have been instances where we would just be cuddling and rubbing my stomach and saying that he cannot wait for his baby to be in there. I am more of a realist and I know that with us both being 20 it's going to be hard to raise a child so I am in NO rush.

I also had another boyfriend in the past who had the whole i don't care if you get preg. attitude. His response to my what if question was just.. "it happens."

So my question is, do some guys subliminally wants kids or are they just acting this way because they want s*x w/o a condom?

This whole..."it if happens, it just happens" attitude weirds me out.

Answer 1

You must be mature and motherly in their eyes, with me and hubby our second child was if it happens it happens sure enough it happened.

Answer 2

i don't think it's a man woman thing.  i think it's just a people thing.  some people think about babies and it's all kodak moments, giggles, etc.  my husband was like that when he was 20 too.  now he's older and realizes what being a father and having a baby really entails so he's put the breaks on all that.  

Answer 3

They want unprotected s*x.  Also, some young people of both sexes have shown signs of low self-esteem.  They figure they won't have a chance at a good life, so they might as well get the whole procreation part over with while they can.

Make it very clear to your boyfriend that you will NOT have unprotected s*x with him under any circumstances until you are emotionally and financially ready to raise a child.  After all, it's your uterus, you should be the one to make that call!

Answer 4

"I told him that I wasn't ready and that it was important to look at the consequences if we were to do it"

that right there should be making him take a step back im no sure exactly what going through his mind if he just wants to make love and you havnt yet or if he wants to with no condom or if he honestly believes a couple minutes of s*x is really worth having an unplanned child

i think next time you guys are having a conversation you should actually go onto youtube and type in natural birth and watch his reaction to these videos (this might be you because "it happens") then type in abortion and do the same.

Then also talk about not just how your life will change but how his will as well not only during pregnancy but after a child is born, that neither of you would be able to just get up and go any time you like, that even going grocery shopping is more difficult, that pregnancy can cause lake of interest in intercourse, the cost of daycares, and hopes and dreams in the future (not saying you wont be able to do everything you guys wanted to) but taking that vactional might not be in the budget anymore, if you guys plan to go to college.

Children change every aspect of your life and if the child is wanted, it truly is a blessing but if its not wanted then deciding on adoption or abortion are very difficult dicisions and can split up couples but for his argument "it happens" right

Im glad to see your being the smart one in the relationship i just dont really think guys think about the whole situation other then a desire at the moment.

Answer 5

its been said alot but guys will say anything to get into your pants haha.

Answer 6

I think it's a little bit of both, depending on the guy.

Some guys would readily have condomless s*x with a woman if some part of him feels like he's emotionally ready for fatherhood (even if he isn't financially ready) and feels like he's found the right woman to bear his child(ren).  I think that, on some level, his heart's getting ahead of his head.  I've been guilty of that myself a few times in my life.

That said, until you're ready for motherhood, make sure he wears a condom.